I need to stop drinking

redrabbit29

redrabbit29

redrabbit29

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8 May 2009
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296
I'm a bit depressed and things aren't quite good for me at the minute. I've always been a heavy/binge drinker and don't drink during the week due to work.

However come Friday/Saturday I drink alone in the house and drink till I fall asleep.

Yesterday I started at 3pm. I had 8 cans of Guinness (never usually have this but wanted something different). Then I had around 8 cans of lager. I drink because it's a habit really - "it's Friday night. Let's get drunk". I also drink as I'm a bit bored and just not motivated to do anything else.

I've let myself go massively. Around June I was very fit and in good shape. Now I'm overweight and have about three chins.

I've a few things which aren't great:

- me and partner not getting on for months

- I work with a small team and don't really like most of them. In fact I can't stand 2 of the 6 people I work with.

- my work involves being in a windowless office for 8 hours. This means there's no natural light. It's horrible and it really gets me down and I feel trapped.

- bit depressed and not overly happy.

I'm considering going to counselling again. I went around 6 years ago when I was going through a bad time and it helped.

I'm posting this as it's just on my mind and I'm trying to kick start a bit of a change.
 
In with the obvious, have you been to the GP? As in has your depression been diagnosed and are you getting help with it.

Another obvious, have you tried sorting out your issues with your partner or is it time to call it a day for both of your sakes I find you aren't happy? Is the relationship part of the reason you are depressed, or part of the reason you're drinking?

Also the no natural light thing can't be helping. You can buy special lamps you could put on your desk, or can you force yourself outside during lunchtime to get some fresh air and light.
 
Fixing the job sounds like the easiest one to solve. Since the majority of your waking hours are spent there, not resolving this one will continue to negatively affect the others.

Indeed.co.uk > save CV > machine-gun hammer the 1-click apply button. Play the numbers game, send out 10-20 applications a day. See what bites.
 
I've a few things which aren't great:
- me and partner not getting on for months

is this the root of the problem ?
 
Borderline medical thread so definetly seek professional medical advice.

You have taken the first step in identifying yourself that there is a problem, that is half of the battle.

Remember there is no quick fix but there will be a fix if you percivere.

All the best.
 
Positives:

You're in a relationship

You're working and have an income

You were in great shape recently.


So you've identified the problem, you know what to do!
 
Definately go the counselling route rather than patching it up with medication. Heard some scary stories about anti-depressant drugs. Personally I wouldn't take anything that messes with my brain chemistry unless absolutely necessary.
 
Nasty cycle, used to binge drinking myself quite a lot, really hammers your physical and mental health but as you said it's a habit and if nothing to challenge it then easy not to stop. Alcohol will worsen your depression. Nasty stuff.
 
I had problems with drink i would drink 2-3 bottles of burbon a week. Find something positive to replace it with a hobby or something. It took my awhile to break my cycle because my main hobby is gaming which can easily be done when drinking, but with the money i saved from not drinking i been buying more games i saved up for a ps vr and pro Its nice to have something to show for your money that you enjoy rather then just ******* it away and making your self ill and feel like ****. Instead of looking for reasons or excuses to drink look for reasons not too. I didn't realise it but i was turning into quite a moody bitter ragey person while i was drinking and i couldn't really see it and maybe the reason you and your partner aren't getting on.

Maybe try things better with you and the mrs instead of drinking why don't you take her out do the things you used to do when you started dating. If your feeling trapped at work staying in and drinking wont be making you feel better.

I been sober for 3 months now and starting to feel better and be more positive about things. Once you get over that hump of feeling like you want a drink it gets easier and easier.
 
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As cliche is it is to say only you have the power to change the situation. You don't have to be the same person tomorrow as you were today.

I think for starters trying to drink less would probably help in regards to mood and your weight. But when you are in a ****** situation and feel bad all the time you have to do it in bitesize pieces. You can't charge in headfirst and say YES! i'm off to gym this week and no alcohol this month boom ez m8!

You gotta for example really really small. Drink? ok you drink till you pass out, but how about drink 25% less this weekend. With exercise just go for a 10 minute walk, that's it. As time goes on you need to babystep it and increase it, maybe next week you go for a 13 minute walk yada yada.

You also have to learn the art of browbeating yourself that means when you mess up, you forgive yourself.... but you also apply pressure at the right times to ensure you are getting things done.

You get the idea.
 
Firstly - thanks everyone for your responses, all really helpful.

WORK

Work may improve soon as we are due to move to a new location and it should be a far better environment with light, larger space hopefully and somewhere to go outside during the day. Unfortunately my work office is on an industrial estate so not really anywhere nice to walk. I can go out anytime I want, so I may everyday around 10am go outside and just walk for 20 minutes for some fresh air.

One good thing about work is I have a ton of training courses booked this year, in things like:

- Malware Analysis
- Secure applications for programmers
- Several ethical hacking courses
- Cyber security incident response

I'm also going on a GPEN course (Penetration Testing).

My aim is over the next two years to get Certified Ethical Hacking certification, GPEN certification, CISSP and MCSA. Then I should be in a really strong position to move on.

DRINK

Yep, I know I need to stop and I can stop. I will treat today as day 1. Last year from January->May I was sober as I was training really hard for a weight lifting competition. Some asked what my hobbies were - that was one of them. Keeping fit, going to the gym, weight lifting, etc...

I'm an all or nothing person. I will either go sober, or I will drink to excess.

MENTAL HEALTH

I know for a fact that the drink isn't helping. Often - a bit like today - I wake up having wasted Friday night, all of Saturday and knowing I've not done any washing, ironing, food shopping, I've gained more weight, etc....

Then Monday I go to work feeling fat, seeing the same people I don't quite get on with that well.

I'm reluctant to go to the Doctor:

- I don't want any medication
- I don't want to be signed off work

So in short, I don't know how they could help me. I've done a few searches online for counsellors. Also someone recommended the MIND charity so I've looked at that too.

I'm feeling fairly positive today as it is essentially day one and hopefully I will start back at the gym from tomorrow/Tuesday and go from there.

Thanks again all
 
You haven't said what you do when you're not at work. Like another person said, take up hobbies and interests. Building things, go out cycling, tennis, football, running, building an engine, painting takes your mind off work, drink etc.
 
The Gym, and lifting in particular, is what keeps me on an even keel. Hardest thing you'll ever do in there is walk through the front door. Good luck.

Nate
 
After being in a similar position to you, albeit I am 17, and don't really drink, I had to go see a doctor because for years I have been really down and not myself, that I was say 3 years ago, where I was always out talking to new people, and after a couple failed longish term relationships, I decided I needed to take some time out on my own back and go see someone about it.
2 weeks ago Wednesday I went to speak to my doctor, got my 10 minute appointment and I could tell he was rushing me out, and he prescribed me Fluoxetine and I went away, and this stuff has some NASTY side effects as I have read, such as really bad suicidal thoughts etc and it takes 2 weeks to really kick in.. Anyways, it messed with my head for almost a week after, crossing the road, getting weird thoughts, but I continued taking it, generally keeping myself out of harms way as much as physically possible, and reducing the risks, keeping myself busy and allowing my mind not to wander to the hole I am in.
Now, I am well and truly addicted to waiting for 12:30 each day to get the 'pick-me up' that the pills give me.
I would say, if you can help it try not to go on meds, try get counselling, which is my next step, I have a follow up appointment this Wednesday and can hopefully see what the next step is of getting back on track with my life...

I hope you get there in the end, but drinking by yourself isn't the answer, been there tried it, and if I was to say anything, fix things with your partner, if it is who you want to be with, and if she really loves you, she will help you through it all and give you a hand for you to grab as I like to put it. My ex that I broke up with most recent, I gave her a hand infinite times, but when I needed her she upped and left, so sometimes its better to fight yourself than rely on others to do it with or for you.
Its all a mental game, and if you play it, and put your complete mind into getting better, you will.
Im writing this to remind myself aswell as others, that no matter how bad things get, talk to someone before you do something rash, depression is a serious thing and I have learnt its better to speak to someone and get it out of your mind than keep it balled up and destroy yourself day by day.
 
Also, hobbies, I played football 3 times last week, for the first time in 9 months and by god did it feel good to get back out there and play, I used to play at a high standard when I was younger, but lost interest and after devoting all my spare time into the girl I mentioned above, I had to find something to fill that gap and my dad plays with loads of his mates so I went along and played and was really happy with how I performed etc.
 
hornetstinger said:
You haven't said what you do when you're not at work. Like another person said, take up hobbies and interests. Building things, go out cycling, tennis, football, running, building an engine, painting takes your mind off work, drink etc.
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The gym was the biggest part of my life before I got back into the habit of binge drinking every week. I used to train around 6+ times a week and as I said earlier, around June last year I was in really good shape.

I'm also a big football fan, and have a season ticket, often going to away games too. This isn't good though as drinking is quite a big part of football and I love the pre-pub drinks and then during/after too.

I have a mountain bike and live right near a big forest which has cycle tracks in and mountain bike trails. I should probably take advantage of that a bit more and go out riding.

Nate--IRL-- said:
The Gym, and lifting in particular, is what keeps me on an even keel. Hardest thing you'll ever do in there is walk through the front door. Good luck.

Nate
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Thanks! :-)

theaterix said:
I would say, if you can help it try not to go on meds, try get counselling, which is my next step, I have a follow up appointment this Wednesday and can hopefully see what the next step is of getting back on track with my life...
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Thanks for the advice. I'm really not keen on any kind of medication - partly due to its effect. But mainly as I don't think I need it. I am down and at times depressed - but it is mild depression and I've been here before. Hopefully things will improve soon!

theaterix said:
Also, hobbies, I played football 3 times last week, for the first time in 9 months and by god did it feel good to get back out there and play, I used to play at a high standard when I was younger, but lost interest and after devoting all my spare time into the girl I mentioned above, I had to find something to fill that gap and my dad plays with loads of his mates so I went along and played and was really happy with how I performed etc.
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That's good - Iwould play football but I'm embarassingly bad haha! But will stick to weight lifting, and maybe some cycling too. Maybe even walking too
 
Don't knock the anti depressants if they work. I was on them for a time and they helped. More than counselling. I tried both. In fact I tried everything. Worst that can happen is same as before.

Another shout for the gym. It's got no negatives at all! More confidence, something to do, better health
 
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