You mean first or third person Narrative ?
Its best first off to plan your story so there is a begining middle and end. You can start writing in any order as long as your plot is firmly established in your mind.
If you wanted to write a fictional story how would you start it off?
- Thread starter Gibbs-UK
- Start date
You mean first or third person Narrative ?
Its best first off to plan your story so there is a begining middle and end. You can start writing in any order as long as your plot is firmly established in your mind.
Soldato
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I wrote 6 chapters of a book when i was about 14. Started with some guy driving down the highway in a rusting convertable with a body in the boot. I was a normal child...
It was the rotting corpse on the floor.
I drove down the highway with a body in the boot of a rusting convertible when I was 14.......
I was a normal child...sort of.
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'The characters within this book are entirely fictional and any similarity to real life is purely coincidental. Apart from The character 'Gibbs-UK', the semi-retarded gay fat bloke introduced on page 3.'
Chill! It was a joke!
Chill! It was a joke!
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Actually I wrote the first chapter of a book I was going to write but everyone (on here) said it was blimin' awful so I gave up! If interested (or exceptionaly bored), here it is:
CHAPTER 1 -
Phil always saw himself as an amiably kind of chap. At 31, he still lived by the principles which he’d been taught by his assigned. He would never steal from those without money, he would never resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. However, when over 500 years previously Adam Smith had committed pen to paper, and somehow given decent folk an excuse to agree and associate with the feudal, broadly anarchistic system then known as ‘Capitalism’ – he never considered the formation of the super-corporation.
Looking back at old, but well documented history, it was somewhere around the year 2010 that the government of the day decided that some corporations were no longer levy to the normal, albeit harsh, financial instruments that Adam Smith detailed. Indeed, in what many historical scholars refer to as ‘the turning point’, a politician’s exact quote from that by-gone era is still emblazed upon the doorway of the largest super-corporation ever to exploit ‘3-space’.
Too Important to Fail
Not penned by a company president. Not penned by a board of directors, a sales team, a marketing department. That would have been considered arrogant or presumptuous. No, ‘the turning point’, was because this immortal status had been stated by a national government. A honest, trustworthy, voted in national government had given us a new instruction with regards to what to believe. Instantly turning an unfeasible, an ugly mutilated gene of strict capitalism into everyday policy. Acceptable. Allowed. Understood. Private corporations had reached a level of power where they were too important to fail, officially. The turning point. Governments could fall. Super-corporations could not. Everyone was happy, for a while.
It was this exact sentence and appreciation for it which urged the 220th president of the Corporation , some 420 years later , to formally change the corporation’s name to the acronym which most had been calling it for some time ..‘T.I.F’. Or, more commonly pronounced ‘Tif’.
For, back in 2010, when ‘the turning point’ was reached and certain organisations were formally being defined as ‘too important to fail’, the first bricks were forged that now made up Phil’s entire world. Everyone’s world. The ‘TIF’ was too important to fail. If it failed, billions of people would be out of work. Governments would crumble. Food would stop flowing to the 3 known habitable planets. The population would force TIF back into existence. The consequences of not doing so were unbearable. TIF made sure of it.
It was approximately 2050 when a corporation’s power was widely perceived by historians as having passed that of government. This was the first year that the TIF had specified a choice candidate for what was called, at the time the United States presidential elections. Naturally, just as now, they could not demand a particular vote from a particular voter. That would be far too obviously wrong. The majority of the world did and still do believe in democracy. Who knows, pondered Phil, perhaps when only 240m votes were being cast – and none automatically, they still actually believed in some small way they made a difference.
No, in those ancient days the corporation that came to be known as ‘TIF’ simply offered bonuses and continued employment if a particular government got in power. The TIFs candidate (nicely a step away from the corporation, with his own independent party) would make all the right sounds with regards to ‘Health care’, ‘Foreign Policy’ and, of course, ‘Full employment’.
The corporation knew however that giving the masses money was all they really desired. After all, it had worked in China for 60 years. The workers keep their mouths shut, the party gives them money. The same system could work anywhere with minor adjustments. In the US (as it was called at the time), the workers would always be able to open their mouths, they just had to be taught, no, persuaded – to say, and believe, exactly the right thing.
Indeed there would be a job for everyone wanting one under the new party. Accept your job with anyone, maybe the TIF, or reject employment – for years people refusing work had been automatically exempted from any form of social security. All TIF had to do was ensure there was enough work for everyone. And with the foreign policy TIF informed the new president to impose, and it’s new private security division, there was enough work for everyone. There was enough work for 100 times the current population.
So the formula played itself out. More employment meant less social security meant taxes went down. Everyone was happy, for a while. Of course some of the ‘less desirables’ in society attempted to play themselves as unemployable. But as the corporation moved even further into private sector military contracts, everyone became employable. You don’t need an interview to use a firearm. You don’t need team leading skills to charge at an enemy machine gun or plasma post. A TIF military division privately contracted soldier’s life was, by design, uncomfortable and for the most part short. Conscription became a necessity for society to achieve it's 100% employment goal. To justify this, corporation war was also useful, as long as no-one important got hurt, or more importantly, no corporation tagged assets were destroyed. For competing corporations, it was a mutually beneficial arrangement. For a largely conservative or indifferent society, it seemed a particularly acute way of cleaning up the 'undesirables'. Everybody important wins.
Employment fell to zero, the social state fell into disuse.
The voters loved the system and so the world moved on unchanged until today, Jan 4th, 2465, not least as military personnel normally did not earn the vote until their military service ended (at which point other people performing military service suited them just fine, thank you). For a while. It is thought that most didn’t even know, or care, what they had lost – until it was just an old memory anyway. No-one could place the exact date, the exact time when ‘the final turning point’ occurred. When corporations clearly, finally, took the last ounce of self determination from the people.
But now, 500 years later, it was considered fact.
Phil thought long and hard, and formed the inevitable conclusion -- someone had to change that 'fact' .. and that someone had to be him ...
CHAPTER 1 -
Phil always saw himself as an amiably kind of chap. At 31, he still lived by the principles which he’d been taught by his assigned. He would never steal from those without money, he would never resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. However, when over 500 years previously Adam Smith had committed pen to paper, and somehow given decent folk an excuse to agree and associate with the feudal, broadly anarchistic system then known as ‘Capitalism’ – he never considered the formation of the super-corporation.
Looking back at old, but well documented history, it was somewhere around the year 2010 that the government of the day decided that some corporations were no longer levy to the normal, albeit harsh, financial instruments that Adam Smith detailed. Indeed, in what many historical scholars refer to as ‘the turning point’, a politician’s exact quote from that by-gone era is still emblazed upon the doorway of the largest super-corporation ever to exploit ‘3-space’.
Too Important to Fail
Not penned by a company president. Not penned by a board of directors, a sales team, a marketing department. That would have been considered arrogant or presumptuous. No, ‘the turning point’, was because this immortal status had been stated by a national government. A honest, trustworthy, voted in national government had given us a new instruction with regards to what to believe. Instantly turning an unfeasible, an ugly mutilated gene of strict capitalism into everyday policy. Acceptable. Allowed. Understood. Private corporations had reached a level of power where they were too important to fail, officially. The turning point. Governments could fall. Super-corporations could not. Everyone was happy, for a while.
It was this exact sentence and appreciation for it which urged the 220th president of the Corporation , some 420 years later , to formally change the corporation’s name to the acronym which most had been calling it for some time ..‘T.I.F’. Or, more commonly pronounced ‘Tif’.
For, back in 2010, when ‘the turning point’ was reached and certain organisations were formally being defined as ‘too important to fail’, the first bricks were forged that now made up Phil’s entire world. Everyone’s world. The ‘TIF’ was too important to fail. If it failed, billions of people would be out of work. Governments would crumble. Food would stop flowing to the 3 known habitable planets. The population would force TIF back into existence. The consequences of not doing so were unbearable. TIF made sure of it.
It was approximately 2050 when a corporation’s power was widely perceived by historians as having passed that of government. This was the first year that the TIF had specified a choice candidate for what was called, at the time the United States presidential elections. Naturally, just as now, they could not demand a particular vote from a particular voter. That would be far too obviously wrong. The majority of the world did and still do believe in democracy. Who knows, pondered Phil, perhaps when only 240m votes were being cast – and none automatically, they still actually believed in some small way they made a difference.
No, in those ancient days the corporation that came to be known as ‘TIF’ simply offered bonuses and continued employment if a particular government got in power. The TIFs candidate (nicely a step away from the corporation, with his own independent party) would make all the right sounds with regards to ‘Health care’, ‘Foreign Policy’ and, of course, ‘Full employment’.
The corporation knew however that giving the masses money was all they really desired. After all, it had worked in China for 60 years. The workers keep their mouths shut, the party gives them money. The same system could work anywhere with minor adjustments. In the US (as it was called at the time), the workers would always be able to open their mouths, they just had to be taught, no, persuaded – to say, and believe, exactly the right thing.
Indeed there would be a job for everyone wanting one under the new party. Accept your job with anyone, maybe the TIF, or reject employment – for years people refusing work had been automatically exempted from any form of social security. All TIF had to do was ensure there was enough work for everyone. And with the foreign policy TIF informed the new president to impose, and it’s new private security division, there was enough work for everyone. There was enough work for 100 times the current population.
So the formula played itself out. More employment meant less social security meant taxes went down. Everyone was happy, for a while. Of course some of the ‘less desirables’ in society attempted to play themselves as unemployable. But as the corporation moved even further into private sector military contracts, everyone became employable. You don’t need an interview to use a firearm. You don’t need team leading skills to charge at an enemy machine gun or plasma post. A TIF military division privately contracted soldier’s life was, by design, uncomfortable and for the most part short. Conscription became a necessity for society to achieve it's 100% employment goal. To justify this, corporation war was also useful, as long as no-one important got hurt, or more importantly, no corporation tagged assets were destroyed. For competing corporations, it was a mutually beneficial arrangement. For a largely conservative or indifferent society, it seemed a particularly acute way of cleaning up the 'undesirables'. Everybody important wins.
Employment fell to zero, the social state fell into disuse.
The voters loved the system and so the world moved on unchanged until today, Jan 4th, 2465, not least as military personnel normally did not earn the vote until their military service ended (at which point other people performing military service suited them just fine, thank you). For a while. It is thought that most didn’t even know, or care, what they had lost – until it was just an old memory anyway. No-one could place the exact date, the exact time when ‘the final turning point’ occurred. When corporations clearly, finally, took the last ounce of self determination from the people.
But now, 500 years later, it was considered fact.
Phil thought long and hard, and formed the inevitable conclusion -- someone had to change that 'fact' .. and that someone had to be him ...
Last edited:
Man of Honour
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britboy4321: there appears to be words missing or incorrect tenses in various places, it's probably not the sort of story I'd normally be interested anyway in reading but it doesn't really engage me, there's a bit of tautology with your concept of TIF for instance. By all means keep writing it, you should write for yourself rather than for anyone else anyway, but in its present state I wouldn't be going out of my way to read it.
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Yea I know it was written too quickly. I've edited a load of it to try and sort it out a bit.
Still, I think my book writing thoughts are going in the same drawer as 'I'm going to program a computer game' and 'I'm going to write a rock song'. The drawer with the label 'daydreams' on it!
Last edited:
If I were you, I'd start by hiring a proof-reader.
Soldato
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That's about it too, innit? Happens to everyone methinks.Still, I think my book writing thoughts are going in the same drawer as 'I'm going to program a computer game' and 'I'm going to write a rock song'. The drawer with the label 'daydreams' on it!
Most writers will tell you they just start writing. If the opening sentence isn't captivating, they will delete and try the next sentence instead. I've heard of authors deleting entire chapters that way.
No one would have believed that
in the last years of the 19th century
that human affairs were being watched
from the timeless worlds of space
No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized
as someone with a microscope studies creatures
that swarm and multiply in a drop of water
Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets
and yet across the gulf of space
minds immeasurably superior to ours
regarded this Earth with envious eyes
and slowly and surely
they drew there plans against us
in the last years of the 19th century
that human affairs were being watched
from the timeless worlds of space
No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized
as someone with a microscope studies creatures
that swarm and multiply in a drop of water
Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets
and yet across the gulf of space
minds immeasurably superior to ours
regarded this Earth with envious eyes
and slowly and surely
they drew there plans against us
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(which was in his pocket)
she was stood soaking by the pool when i saw her, i let my towel drop and grabbed the cucumber...i knew it was wrong but continued to peel.
half of me was hidden behind the curtain but it covered little as she turned and caught me, her shocked eyes looked me in the eye then her gaze lowered, she came towards me, yes this was wrong, not because people could be watching but because she was my sister!
they say 2 wrongs dont make a right so why did these 2 wrongs feel so right ?
she then grabbed the cucumber by both hands, i looked at the tomatoes, she whispered into my ear "shall i peel them for you?"
i replied "sure, bring me a beer too when you're done cutting the salad"
half of me was hidden behind the curtain but it covered little as she turned and caught me, her shocked eyes looked me in the eye then her gaze lowered, she came towards me, yes this was wrong, not because people could be watching but because she was my sister!
they say 2 wrongs dont make a right so why did these 2 wrongs feel so right ?
she then grabbed the cucumber by both hands, i looked at the tomatoes, she whispered into my ear "shall i peel them for you?"
i replied "sure, bring me a beer too when you're done cutting the salad"