If your longterm partner cheated would you want to know?

I would speak to the one that was cheating but not the other one. I just wouldn't want to get involved.

Gotcha, well that is what I would do, but I couldn't know it was going on and not say anything if they weren't willing to. I'm just not put together that way.

My loyalty would be to the parent that was being cheated on, not to the cheater.
 
Gotcha, well that is what I would do, but I couldn't know it was going on and not say anything if they weren't willing to. I'm just not put together that way.

My loyalty would be to the parent that was being cheated on, not to the cheater.

I see what you mean but I wouldn't want to be the one to ruin it all and maybe the other parent did already know? It's hard not being in that situation but I suppose if it carried on and wasn't stopping then I would become more guilty and have to speak to the cheater again and explain things couldn't carry on like that.
 
I see what you mean but I wouldn't want to be the one to ruin it all and maybe the other parent did already know? It's hard not being in that situation but I suppose if it carried on and wasn't stopping then I would become more guilty and have to speak to the cheater again and explain things couldn't carry on like that.

Knowing a parent is cheating on the other is a very hard situation to be in.

Do you keep quiet and in effect become an unwilling accessory (and suffer the guilt).

Do you confront your father and demand the relationship stop (potentially harming your relationship with your father, and possibly not resolving anything)

Do you threaten to tell you mother if he doesn't tell her (the result of this could end in your parents splitting up, and harming your relationship with both parents)

Do you share the fact with your brothers\sisters and come to a decision together (share the problem).

Do you track down the person hes having the affair with and threaten them in order to get the affair to stop (could work, if they are married)
 
I'd want to know as I would end the relationship, no matter how much I loved her.

I hate that when you fall in love you become so vulnerable, to think that a person has the ability to absolutely crush you, if they cheated it would devastate me and hence they would be gone in a second.
 
Not sure. Depends on the situation a bit, e.g:

Do we have kids?
Has her cheating significantly affected her feelings towards me?
What classifies as cheating? One night stand? Long-term affair? Snogging some chap?

It's an interesting one because not knowing may not necessarily be a problem if to all intents and purposes, nothing has changed from my perspective. My quality of life might be higher naively remaining in that relationship as opposed to either ending it, or living with the knowledge and constant worrying about what she's up to behind my back.
 
Not sure. Depends on the situation a bit, e.g:

Do we have kids?
Has her cheating significantly affected her feelings towards me?
What classifies as cheating? One night stand? Long-term affair? Snogging some chap?

It's an interesting one because not knowing may not necessarily be a problem if to all intents and purposes, nothing has changed from my perspective. My quality of life might be higher naively remaining in that relationship as opposed to either ending it, or living with the knowledge and constant worrying about what she's up to behind my back.


Some good questions there. I suppose all the above, how would each situation change the way you felt about it? The question about what is cheating is a very good one as everyone has different thoughts on that. Some people don't seem to think a snog is as bad as sex but imo the intent is still there and the wanting to be intimate with someone else. I think a real kiss can be more intimate than sex as well.
 
JODIE G: Part of me would I think but as I would forgive it anyway...


Interesting to know for your hubby should he read this forum :D

It's an interesting question but kind of a paradox like saying your wife is cheating on you do you want to know?

hehe

As for drunk snogging. I'd be annoyed but come on... what intent is there in that?
 
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JODIE G: Part of me would I think but as I would forgive it anyway...


Interesting to know for your hubby should he read this forum :D

It's an interesting question but kind of a paradox like saying your wife is cheating on you do you want to know?

hehe

Erm the question wasn't anything to do with me personally! My husband has been on here longer than I have. :p
 
You'd be happy knowing that one of your parents was cheating on the other, and that unless you intervened it would carry on?

I know I couldn't keep that to myself in good conscience.

I did it for years. Found out in the end that my dad had cottoned on anyway though :/ I'd never have told him, I didn't want my parents to split up. It's not a nice situation to be in.

Put the boot on the other foot, if your mum found out you were cheating, you wouldn't want them teling your partner would you?

In answer to the OP - I'd rather not know. Things would never be the same if I found out, and I don't want things to change!!!
 
As for drunk snogging. I'd be annoyed but come on... what intent is there in that?

What about drunk sex? Any worse and if not why not? If you can drunk snog and blame it on that then why not sex too? Drunkenness is no excuse for cheating.
 
I did it for years. Found out in the end that my dad had cottoned on anyway though :/ I'd never have told him, I didn't want my parents to split up. It's not a nice situation to be in.

Put the boot on the other foot, if your mum found out you were cheating, you wouldn't want them teling your partner would you?

In answer to the OP - I'd rather not know. Things would never be the same if I found out, and I don't want things to change!!!

Nice honest answer :) I wonder if I'm a bit weird sometimes as I think I'd forgive quite easily :/
 
Nice honest answer :) I wonder if I'm a bit weird sometimes as I think I'd forgive quite easily :/

Well, I'd forgive him easily enough, but it would prey on my mind forever, and I just wouldn't have the same respect for him, or myself.
 
Well, I'd forgive him easily enough, but it would prey on my mind forever, and I just wouldn't have the same respect for him, or myself.

I find it hard though to think that way, maybe I'd just be unable to forgive at all but I think I'd be able to get over it. Who knows though? I do think that we're all human as and such make mistakes. I don't know. I don't I'd respect myself less for forgiving cheating though.
 
I find it hard though to think that way, maybe I'd just be unable to forgive at all but I think I'd be able to get over it. Who knows though? I do think that we're all human as and such make mistakes. I don't know. I don't I'd respect myself less for forgiving cheating though.


I know that's just how I'd react cos it's happened before ;)
 
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