In a right pickle :-(

ikillbears · 18 Jun 2013 at 11:55

G|mp said:
Is she stealing your broadband?

Ha!

also, haven't i seen threads before in which the OP complains about being sad & foreveralone.jpg ? or am i getting confused

lordhughes · 18 Jun 2013 at 11:56

Hit it and quit it! that could be taken two ways.

ChocolateStarfishRammer · 18 Jun 2013 at 11:57

To give full and proper advice.. We need pictures.

Guest2 · 18 Jun 2013 at 11:58

need to see her first...

ahar · 18 Jun 2013 at 11:59

Can you fake tears? May make her more amenable to the break up conversation if you throw in some guff about just coming out of a serious relationship.

Or you could tell the truth

pingwing · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:00

How fat is she?

joelk2 · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:01

tell her you're gay!

greywolf · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:03

Act a bit fruity at the meal? and keep mentioning your new best 'mate' Ken?

Sorry to anyone called Ken, first name that popped into my head.

krooton · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:05

Be Saatchi to her Nigella?

[FnG]magnolia · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:07

Was having a brain freeze and just realised who the OP is.

:/

Ingenious TROLL · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:07

wingman said:
Love this bit. Would read again. In a Karl Pilkington voice.

And to the bemusement of my office colleagues I just lol'd so hard at this.

smelly_legend · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:07

whip yer genitalia out on her dinner plate

Things change I've changed · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:09

I'm on my mobile atm so excuse the short post, when I said I was branching out I meant as in being more sociable and trying to make more friends, I really didn't fancy her but we did click a bit.

And no she is not sharing my Broadband! Although she has asked a free times now.

ChocolateStarfishRammer · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:11

lowrider007 said:
I really didn't fancy her.

So shes fat?

Just keep putting pies outside your neighbours frontdoor. Eventually she'll just go their instead.

DirtyJester · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:23

What is she cooking...

eatcustard · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:28

Inform here you are Friends of Dorothy

BigChief · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:34

In an attempt to not LOL at resposes, I've bitten down on my pen. The pen has now shattered in my mouth and trying to aviod attention has in fact had the opposite effect.

Pestilence · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:35

Have sex with the aggressive bloke and send her a video. Should do the trick.

Jono8 · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:37

Sounds like you are scared she might rape you?

Doomedspeed · 18 Jun 2013 at 12:40

BigChief said:
In an attempt to not LOL at resposes, I've bitten down on my pen. The pen has now shattered in my mouth .

That's what she said...