In the wrong?

Burnsy2023 · 28 Jan 2007 at 13:32

killsta said:
To be honest mate, in my book, if you haven't told your fiancee about this woman at work, you're already sort of cheating on her.

Eh? How you work that out?

Burnsy

Morlan · 28 Jan 2007 at 14:24

chrislocalboy said:
although I would never ever go behind the back of my fiancee, this would break every rule I live by

Um, you already have by discussing possible romance with that girl. :rolleyes:

killsta · 28 Jan 2007 at 14:28

burnsy2023 said:
Eh? How you work that out?

Burnsy

I said 'sort of' cheating, because if he keeps this sort of stuff from her, he shouldn't be with her.

Burnsy2023 · 28 Jan 2007 at 14:29

killsta said:
I said 'sort of' cheating, because if he keeps this sort of stuff from her, he shouldn't be with her.

I get the sentiment, but by no means is he being unfaithful. They have issue to resolve but that's it.

Burnsy

killsta · 28 Jan 2007 at 14:31

burnsy2023 said:
I get the sentiment, but by no means is he being unfaithful. They have issue to resolve but that's it.

Burnsy

Never said he was unfaithful, just couldn't think of a better way to put it

MathewS · 28 Jan 2007 at 16:52

Havnt read the entire thread, but I would stay break contact with this new person and stick with your fiancee. Don't tempt fate.
Take your girl out to dinner, wine and dine her, try and get that lust back.

If you end it or something happens you will regret it forever, nothing is worse than losing the one you love.

That my advice, if you can call it that. Take it or leave it, but believe me losing your girl will be the worst thing in the world.

killsta · 28 Jan 2007 at 17:29

MathewS said:
Havnt read the entire thread, but I would stay break contact with this new person and stick with your fiancee. Don't tempt fate.
Take your girl out to dinner, wine and dine her, try and get that lust back.

If you end it or something happens you will regret it forever, nothing is worse than losing the one you love.

That my advice, if you can call it that. Take it or leave it, but believe me losing your girl will be the worst thing in the world.

Good advice, but just one thing to add.

Tell her what you've been doing.

Nitefly · 28 Jan 2007 at 17:42

Ok I was in a similar situation awhile back, admittedly, not as serious. I was with my girlfriend and I realised I might have had feelings for someone else. Of course, I loved my gf to bits, so what the hell was going on? Maybe it was that I was wanting something fresh. After a few months of trying to keep it going because I was never going to give it up, I decided to end it. Not because I chose the other person, but thinking I might have feelings for someone else meant it felt I was cheating on her.

I think I was more upset about it than she was. Its not something I regret, because I know that the above meant I wasn't 100% satisfied. Saying that, there were times where I turned down pulling some hottie because I thought I might get back together with her! Things change.

Its an absolute nightmare, that situation. However I broke up because I had to find out for myself what my real feelings were. I know now that the other girl I thought I might like just wants, and always wanted me as a good friend, so I gained absolutely nothing.

I hope that account helps you somehow.

MathewS · 28 Jan 2007 at 21:10

killsta said:
Good advice, but just one thing to add.

Tell her what you've been doing.

Even better, becuase it would be worse if she found out from someone else. People that but into other people's business often don't know the whole story, and will just make things worse.

Samtheman1k · 2 Feb 2007 at 09:11

It's simple really, what you are experiencing is lust with this new girl, probably similar to how you felt with your fiancee when you first met her. So, you either follow it up and lose your fiancee or you get back in check and be a proper fiancee to your fiancee. Do you really want to lose everything you have for a quick fling?

Samtheman1k · 2 Feb 2007 at 09:13

chrislocalboy said:
and perhaps even telling her about this girl thats interested in me....

If you do that, then it's pretty much over. She will assume that you fancy her too, well else would you mention it? She will never trust you again as she will think that you are always looking out for someone else.

dbailey10 · 2 Feb 2007 at 11:17

This is just my opinion but you've got to ask yourself whether you and your fiance should really be engaged? She's had a snog and you've got these 'feelings' for someone else, isnt exactly the best start to a marriage. I'm not saying split up but I think maybe you both have to take a look at whats going on and maybe take a step back and sort these things so you can have a proper engagement

Solari · 2 Feb 2007 at 11:28

Bang her over the boss's desk after hours tbh. Mutually agree that it's no strings attached. Lust satisfied!

If she's a pretty blonde and the quiet type then she's probably a psychopath who will microwave your hamster.

helpimcrap · 2 Feb 2007 at 16:17

i dont see the problem... your leaving your current work in a week? poke her... see how she goes and then post back up here with pictures so we can decide for you. :cool:

Spud21 · 2 Feb 2007 at 17:24

atpbx said:
Well he hasnt even raised his voice to me, he is pathetic.
He knows what she does and he just..........blocks it out.
I almost feel sorry him and the complete shame he must feel for not having the balls to either come and confront me, or kick her out and let her be happy rather than whine about the kids all the time.

Jesus thats sad. I don't get how someone could do that, even if it meant i'd take a beating i'd still give you a smack.

The only thing i don't get is why she doesn't leave him? the situation must be affecting the kids a lot, even if they don't know they will know something is seirously wrong.

Sad situation all round imo.