Is there a scale to "love"?

Megahurtz400 said:
Words mean different things to different people, only you can know the meaning you attribute to those words.

But people "receiving" or hearing those words are also allowed to attribute their own meaning to them irregardless of what your intention/meaning was originally.

Language is messy and complex :)
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That's a great thought and what I was trying to convey. Interpretation is the key to communicating, sometimes even if you're 100% clear in your language people will react differently. There's a cultural element too I think.
 
Freefaller said:
We were exploring whether or not saying "I love you" means the same to different people, or if you mean it in the same way towards different recipients. Also what the cultural elements are. Some countries use it sparingly, some use it pretty much all the time, some it is shown overtly others in a more reserved way.
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Did you consider linguistics? Like how many words for love there are in different languages? English has just the one word but do other languages have more?
 
Quartz said:
Did you consider linguistics? Like how many words for love there are in different languages? English has just the one word but do other languages have more?
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Yes great question!

That's actually what spurred the topic. As English isn't my first language and some of my friends round the table were in the same position it's what made the conversation interesting. (Our dinner lasted over 4hrs... bloody foreigners eh? :D)

I think you've hit a really important point.
 
Regarding pets, I don't think it's possible to ever stop loving them, as why would they ever turn scumbag on you? You'll always be everything to them. They wouldn't unless you did something wrong to scare/hurt them? So that unconditional 'bad boys for life' type love a pet gives is on another level, especially if it's with something like a cat that has to choose you and wants to spend time with you vs a dog that's loyal and would stand in a road if you told it to where as a cat would look at you and give you the finger/paw!
 
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Ugg, language inevitably limited compared to the infinite (perceptively) range of human experience, ugg, ugg.
 
ci_newman said:
What would happen to your love of kayaking if you suffered a shoulder or lower back injury that basically made it impossible for you to paddle without being in pain (or God forbid, arthritis when we are in our silver years?). I think you'd definitely stop loving the sport in that situation.
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This is one of my biggest fears.
It would be quite depressing (no exaggeration there, I fear what will happen when I can't do my hobbies)
I'd still love it.. Or long for it.
Having something taken away is kind of different from losing the love.
 
keef247 said:
Regarding pets, I don't think it's possible to ever stop loving them, as why would they ever turn scumbag on you? You'll always be everything to them. They wouldn't unless you did something wrong to scare/hurt them? So that unconditional 'bad boys for life' type love a pet gives is on another level, especially if it's with something like a cat that has to choose you and wants to spend time with you vs a dog that's loyal and would stand in a road if you told it to where as a cat would look at you and give you the finger/paw!
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Ah, but so many people say that.. For the odd occasion for them to turn

That's why I say is isn't unconditional.
 
keef247 said:
I don't think I'd ever 'hold it against' the pet if they did, I'd know it was my fault, or that they were sick/going daft. Then I'd feel for them even more so and worry?
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I think the trust would be broken for me. Not if it was my fault or something. Or an extreme situation. But if it was just a random lashing out.. Trust and therefore love would be gone.

But I think it would be the most unlikely love to lose. Ie, it's far higher chance of losing love for a partner than a pet.
 
I personally think the word is used too much, "oh I love that show" " I love cake" or drunken dudes (I have been that guy) saying how much they love their mates as they hurl down themselves.

There should be some sort of scale something like.

Meh
It's ok
I like it
I like it a lot
**** me how did I live without this in my life
Love.

As a parent I completely understand the love for your child being different to the love for your wife, both strong but still different.
 
413x said:
I think the trust would be broken for me. Not if it was my fault or something. Or an extreme situation. But if it was just a random lashing out.. Trust and therefore love would be gone.

But I think it would be the most unlikely love to lose. Ie, it's far higher chance of losing love for a partner than a pet.
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I dunno man I think it'd still be our fault if it did, they don't tend to attack owners for no reason, it's more a case of we were doing something we 'weren't aware' was upsetting them to the point they lashed out? But I get what you're saying. And yeah pets > any over love, levels wise.
 
BeeP said:
I personally think the word is used too much, "oh I love that show" " I love cake" or drunken dudes (I have been that guy) saying how much they love their mates as they hurl down themselves.

There should be some sort of scale something like.

Meh
It's ok
I like it
I like it a lot
**** me how did I live without this in my life
Love.

As a parent I completely understand the love for your child being different to the love for your wife, both strong but still different.
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That scale also needs a "I'd bang that" etc before like/love. Clouded judgement can be a real thing otherwise! :D
 
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back to OP, yes, there are different scale to Love and in English, this word is overused and diluted in day to day life.

I love a bacon sandwich is not the same as love for your children. I'd say "I love my iPhone" in English, but what I really mean is that i prefer an iPhone over the competition. I certainly would not use I love my iPhone in my other languages. The gravity of the word is different. To say love in Cantonese, I would really have to mean it, like on the level of marriage.
 
I've never understood why women in particular separate love and friendship. It seems to have come from a Christian society as it is absent in places like Scandinavia.

Maybe the reason is a lot of people confuse love and lust. They will say they love someone early in a relationship when really it is lust.

Love for me is about admiring, respecting and being loyal to someone. I think people can love more than one person at the same time, and in different ways.
 
After you've been in a few long-term relationships. I wouldn't say there's a 'scale' it's more the way we use language. In the end, I can now say I never really loved my first wife, I had nothing to compare it to as she was my first relationship, I just thought this is what it was. But my second wife has shown me what Love really feels like. It's completely different and feels so much deeper and 'real' in every sense
 
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