Is this bullying?

Charlie123

Charlie123

Charlie123

Associate
Joined
9 Jan 2020
Posts
5
One of my (24f) colleagues at work (25m) is being very unfriendly at work and it's starting to get to me but I don't know whether it counts as bullying or not. Some of the things he does:
1) Ignores me, pulls faces and moves away from me when I speak to him.
2) Calls me a b**ch and continues to even after multiple requests from me for him to stop. He tries to pass it of in a joking way.
3) Makes up lies and/or twists the truth to make me look bad. For example, he told everyone i put a special lock on the computer so that only I can use it because I don't want anyone to use it - the computer is broken and not even I can log onto it. He knows this - i've told everyone multiple times the computer is broken and i'm trying to get it fixed.
4) He has told my boss he doesn't want to work with me but has given no good excuse as to why.
I've had enough. I don't want to work with him either due to the reasons above. I feel like my boss isn't taking me seriously - though I haven't told him that my colleague calls me a b**ch.
I feel like he is doing this because I got the job I have now. We both applied but I got it and now I'm technically his boss.
I don't want to quit as I need the money and job security especially during this pandemic, but I don't want to work here while he is treating me like this. I have started taking a record of all the things he says/does but I have no concrete proof. I also would like to know if I'm just overreacting or not.
 
If you are technically his boss you have every right to now tell him to behave or face disciplinary actions.

For been 25 he is extremely immature. If I was in your shoes I would take it up now with your boss and follow it through.

That behaviour shouldn’t be accepted at work that’s for sure.

That would be classed as work place bullying yes and it might be wise now to ask to be separated so you don’t cross paths if that’s possible in your area.
 
Him calling you a B**** should be a major disciplinary matter on its own. That should put him at least on a final warning if not immediately dismissed.

The guy sounds like a complete muppet.
 
get your phone out and just stick a dictaphone app on it. Record him calling you a bitch.

Go straight to HR and lodge a formal complaint about his behavior.

If anyone in my team acted like this to another of my team I'd have him on disciplinary.
 
Discuss the way forward with HR and what they need from you to proceed. They will be able to support and advise you. It is unlikely you are the only person they treat in this way and just stay calm.
 
Document everything, dates / times and most importantly any witnesses.
At least when you get to HR it wont be a he said / she said exercise.
Good luck! Not a nice place to be.
 
AHarvey said:
get your phone out and just stick a dictaphone app on it. Record him calling you a bitch.

Go straight to HR and lodge a formal complaint about his behavior.

If anyone in my team acted like this to another of my team I'd have him on disciplinary.
Click to expand...

^
This.

I had a manager join a firm once who immediately took away all our creature comforts, ruin any semblence of a happy working environment and other things I probably shouldn't divulge but when confronted he always got all uppity, swearing and whatnot, so I recorded a conversation with him one day and took the recording to HR.

The recording wouldn't have stood up in court as he wasn't aware he was being recorded but they were satisfied enough with it to find other ways to get shot of him (which wasn't hard to be fair).
 
Point 4 is between him and your boss, point 1 is immature but fair enough if he doesn't want to talk to you about non work stuff.

But points 2 and 3 are definitely disciplinary matters.
 
One thing I hated in school was a bully and I despite them even more so now. This person's behaviour is not acceptable at all and would have counted as gross misconduct at my last workplace.

You really need to keep a factual log of instances and include date, time, location, witnesses, what was said or done and how it made you feel. Don't use it as an attack though.

Be very careful on phone recording as this can be seen as a breach of trust and itself a disciplinary matter. I would definitely make your manager/HR aware that you've been called a b**** before even thinking of recording such an instance, otherwise they may say you've gone too far and should have given them the opportunity to deal with the matter by being told.

If you do make a recording, you will need to make a minuted transcript of it and provide a second highlighted copy, especially if it's lengthy. Again this should be a last resort. Recordings can, and have, been accepted at tribunals but it is discretionary and must be done in good faith.

I would also ask your HR in the meantime to refer you to counselling or for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. A friend had this in their job and it worked wonders for them.

Good luck and don't try not to let the obnoxious little creep get you down.
 
bazzabear said:
Him calling you a B**** should be a major disciplinary matter on its own. That should put him at least on a final warning if not immediately dismissed.

The guy sounds like a complete muppet.
Click to expand...

Agreed. Even if the two parties were mates and engaged in a bit of mutual ****-taking and banter, calling a female member of staff a b**** is going to win him a visit to HR for a verbal warning if a supervisor/manager hears him say it.

Said in spite, that’s worthy of a written, possibly final warning.
 
Yep sounds like he fancies you :)

Honestly don't consider leaving - he sounds quite emotional so may end up getting annoyed and leaving OR he will make a mistake and get fired.
 
Charlie123 said:
would like to know if I'm just overreacting or not.
Click to expand...

I would say you are underreacting. I would personally email your line manger asap with a calm clear account of the issues and how it is affecting you requesting it be addressed as a matter of urgency as it is not acceptable, you don't want to have to raise a grievance and you're sure that your manager will handle this correctly but will do so if this unacceptable behaviour continues. If that doesn't lead to any speedy action, then I would be putting in a formal complaint for bullying and harassment at the least. Everyone has the right to be treated with dignity at work.

Can you (or this other person) work from home or in another office/location for the time being?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom