It's Friday, where's the joke thread?

Soldato
Joined
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One from today.

A programmer is asked by his wife, "Honey, we need milk. And if they have eggs, get a dozen."

He comes back 20 minutes later and plops twelve bags of milk on the table.

She looks at him curiously, "Honey, why did you do that?"

He flatly replies. "They had eggs."
 
I don't find this joke very funny, a programmer friend of mine died in the shower recently after following the instructions on a shampoo bottle :(
 
One from today.

A programmer is asked by his wife, "Honey, we need milk. And if they have eggs, get a dozen."

He comes back 20 minutes later and plops twelve bags of milk on the table.

She looks at him curiously, "Honey, why did you do that?"

He flatly replies. "They had eggs."

hahaha best one I have seen here for a while
 
Sainsburys have bags of milk. To 'save' on packaging costs. Except its 50% more than the standard bottled milk :confused:.

I did lol at the joke.
 
My PM told me this 'joke' today as I am going to Saudi Arabia on Sunday:

The Arabs had been drilling for years in the Saudi desert for years looking for a fresh water supply, and all they could ever find was dirty black looking water and then gave up



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A man goes to the doctors with a sore knee.
The doctor says, “You’ll have to stop masturbating”.
“But why?” asks the man.
The doctor replies, “Because I’m trying to examine you”.




Jesus walks into a hotel, puts four nails down on the counter and asks “Can you put me up for the night?”



It’s midnight on Christmas Eve, and a five year-old Luke Skywalker is fast asleep, but suddenly awakened by a crash and a cloud of soot coming from the fireplace. From down the chimney stepped … not Santa, but Darth Vader!

“Luke”, breathed Vader. “See that gift over there under the tree? That’s a cuddly Ewok, that is.”

“Stop!”, cried the infant Luke. “You’re spoiling the surprise!”

“Luke, that one there is a brand new light sabre”, Vader continued.

“Don’t tell me”, said Luke, clamping his hands over his ears.

“Luke, the really big one is a replica of the Millenium Falcon”, Vader concluded.

Luke tearfully asked, “How do you know what Santa’s brought me?”.

Vader replied, “Luke – I have felt your presents”



TAXI!! :D
 
Girl walks into a bar;

Bloke across the bar says 'You're going to get laid tonight!'
She laughs and replies 'How do you know that?'
He replies 'Because I'm stronger than you'
 
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