**Joke thread** - Merged

True_Scotsman said:
Seriously i believe you
Click to expand...


seriously now, i will just repeat the text i just got:

"Hey big boy, how's it going, havent heard back from you in a while.
I cant stop thinking about you, your tender lip's touching mine with the firery passion of a thousand suns at dawn, come up to glasgow, and satisfy my scottish urges of love!

Txtbk, True Scotsman"
 
tomanders91 said:
seriously now, i will just repeat the text i just got:

"Hey big boy, how's it going, havent heard back from you in a while.
I cant stop thinking about you, your tender lip's touching mine with the firery passion of a thousand suns at dawn, come up to glasgow, and satisfy my scottish urges of love!

Txtbk, True Scotsman"
Click to expand...

Think you 2 should take this to MSN.
 
tomanders91 said:
seriously now, i will just repeat the text i just got:

"Hey big boy, how's it going, havent heard back from you in a while.
I cant stop thinking about you, your tender lip's touching mine with the firery passion of a thousand suns at dawn, come up to glasgow, and satisfy my scottish urges of love!

Txtbk, True Scotsman"
Click to expand...

well maybe a different guy mate maybe Ken pretending to be someone he isnt?? like a role play for you two
 
A Pirate walks into a bar. The barman say's "Oi you, do you know you've got a steering wheel stuck down your trousers?".

The Pirate replys "Arrrr, I know, 'tis driving me nuts!"
 
Azagoth said:
A Pirate walks into a bar. The barman say's "Oi you, do you know you've got a steering wheel stuck down your trousers?".

The Pirate replys "Arrrr, I know, 'tis driving me nuts!"
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Oh dear :rolleyes:

And it get's worse:-

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.

"Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.

"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over."

The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.

"That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in B & Q either." :D
 
Why did the salmon float?

It had eaten a balloon!


What did the big lamp-post say to the little lamp-post?

"LLLLLLAMMP!"


Why did the scare-crow fly away?

It had magic powers!
 
i'm a bit of a gardener,like to grow flowers and veg n stuff but i recently had a bad experience.instead of lifting a nice fresh onion to chop up and fry with the liver i got from the butchers i accidentally pulled a daffodil bulb.it did'nt taste too bad but made me quite ill and i had to go to hospital.after a lengthy examination the doctors concluded that i'll have to stay in hospital for quite some time.i should make a full recovery but i wont be out until the spring.
 
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