Joke thread?

Ah ha...............encouragement.........................silly................

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given
name was 'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and
said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good
morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the
next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would
do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a
woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made
love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her
all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow
Bird wouldn't die!

Why?

OH, come on... Take a guess!

Think about it

(You're going to love this!)

You can't kill two birds with one stone
 
Last one then.......


Two married Fellas, Jim and Alec were having a beer after work. Jim says: "Have you ever said something when you meant to say something else?"

"How do you mean?" said Alec.

"Well, see the other day, instead of two tickets to Pittsburgh, I asked for two pickets to Titsberg"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Alec. "Last week I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say 'Pass me the Sugar.' But what came out was "You bitch, you've ruined my life!!!"
 
Last one then.......


Two married Fellas, Jim and Alec were having a beer after work. Jim says: "Have you ever said something when you meant to say something else?"

"How do you mean?" said Alec.

"Well, see the other day, instead of two tickets to Pittsburgh, I asked for two pickets to Titsberg"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Alec. "Last week I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say 'Pass me the Sugar.' But what came out was "You bitch, you've ruined my life!!!"
I thought it was about two gay men at first. :(

But it was a poor joke anyway.
 
I thought it was about two gay men at first. :(

But it was a poor joke anyway.

I know what you mean but if you are an old married bloke like me then it takes on a certain charm of its own :)

Cant resist one more tho...........

Vicar having a w*** in his bedroom.
as he is finishing off he see's the window cleaner staring at him.
Red-faced he rushes downstairs as he hears a knock on the door.....
Window cleaner at the door says with a smirk on his face "i've done your windows that will be hundred pounds please!"
Vicar pays and shuts the door.his wife overhears and yells,"100 quid for 4 small
windows,he must have seen you coming!"
 
Heard about the house-warming party at a rather large pile in the Shropshire countryside? All beers were freely available, but sadly no Fosters!
 
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