Joke Thread

Neil79

Neil79

Neil79

Caporegime
Joined
8 Sep 2006
Posts
39,257
Location
On Ocuk
Do we have a joke thread?, if not i'll start!

Man says to wife: "What would u do if i won the lottery?" Wife says: "Take half and leave you." Man says: "GREAT! I've won a tenner, here's a fiver now **** off
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laid in bed with the wife,i looked into her eyes and said "seeing your face reminds me of the lottery", because i'm worth millions to you? she replied. "no" i said, i wish you'd ****** roll over
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thsimpsons.gif
 
One of my employees came into work this morning shouting his head off. "Vodka, Sambuca, Tequila!"

I stood up and said "Hey, I call the shots round here!"



*I'll get my coat
 
I had a massive argument with my Chinese girlfriend last night. I told her, "babe, we're going to have to leave it here, there's sum ting wong". She did not respond to that lightly, she tried to come at me with a wok and chopsticks, so I quickly ducked into the cupboard and called nine wan wan.
 
Emphacy said:
I had a massive argument with my Chinese girlfriend last night. I told her, "babe, we're going to have to leave it here, there's sum ting wong". She did not respond to that lightly, she tried to come at me with a wok and chopsticks, so I quickly ducked into the cupboard and called nine wan wan.
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What the **** is that supposed to be
 
Was chatting up a Gypsy bird in the pub last night, when she asked if id like to go back to her place and have a good time, she wasnt kidding. I went on the waltzers, the dodgems, the ghost train. I even came home with a goldfish!
 
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