Joke time
- Thread starter Zip
- Start date
Soldato
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- 16 May 2004
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Bill has done his company proud. He recently sealed a business deal netting them billions in extra revenue. And that's where his tale begins, as he travels to Japan to seal the deal...
The first thing Bill did when he arrived in Japan was to get unpacked in his hotel. The second thing he did was to phone a prostitute.
Bill isn't normally the kind of guy who goes to prostitutes. In fact, he normally wouldn't know where to find them. But this one was recommended by his boss who spent an hour or so boasting about her at the office christmas party last year. Bill was so impressed by the stories that, when his boss handed over her phone number as he got on the plane, he was eager to try her out.
Finally the girl arrived and began to take her clothes off. Bill slipped into his Spiderman costume and took a flying leap off the wardrobe onto her. The sex was hot and frantic. As Bill sped up he was spurred on by the girl's cries of "Lo chi! LO CHIIIII!" turning to screams. Bill was proud of himself to make this girl scream so much, when this was her profession and he went even faster.
Later that day, Bill met with Mr Watashi on the golf course and, as is the tradition, they talked business over a game of golf.
As Bill spoke he made his first shot which miraculously bounced off a couple of trees and became a hole in one. As one the japanese businessmen started patting Bill on the back and saying "Lo chi" to him.
Bill's grin widened. Obviously he'd impressed these people with his brilliant shot.
"What does Lo Chi actually mean though?" he asked Mr Watashi.
The answer came amidst chuckles, "Lo chi mean wrong hole."
The first thing Bill did when he arrived in Japan was to get unpacked in his hotel. The second thing he did was to phone a prostitute.
Bill isn't normally the kind of guy who goes to prostitutes. In fact, he normally wouldn't know where to find them. But this one was recommended by his boss who spent an hour or so boasting about her at the office christmas party last year. Bill was so impressed by the stories that, when his boss handed over her phone number as he got on the plane, he was eager to try her out.
Finally the girl arrived and began to take her clothes off. Bill slipped into his Spiderman costume and took a flying leap off the wardrobe onto her. The sex was hot and frantic. As Bill sped up he was spurred on by the girl's cries of "Lo chi! LO CHIIIII!" turning to screams. Bill was proud of himself to make this girl scream so much, when this was her profession and he went even faster.
Later that day, Bill met with Mr Watashi on the golf course and, as is the tradition, they talked business over a game of golf.
As Bill spoke he made his first shot which miraculously bounced off a couple of trees and became a hole in one. As one the japanese businessmen started patting Bill on the back and saying "Lo chi" to him.
Bill's grin widened. Obviously he'd impressed these people with his brilliant shot.
"What does Lo Chi actually mean though?" he asked Mr Watashi.
The answer came amidst chuckles, "Lo chi mean wrong hole."
Soldato
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- 16 May 2004
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- 7,561
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- Derby
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."
" Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
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Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."
" Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
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Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
Last edited:
Soldato
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Zip said:An Eskimo is traveling down a highway and his car breaks down.
A Welshman stops to see what to problem is and give him some help and takes a look.
The Welshman then Says to the Eskimo "You've Blown a seal"
The Eskimo Replies "So what? You Shag Sheep"
When I heard it the punchline was 'Nah, that's just frost on my lips'
Associate
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saddler said:
OT: league 2 champs aint nothing to be proud of
Soldato
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A guy is hosting a themed fancy-dress party - the theme is emotions. So the first guy comes in dressed in red and acts all aggressive and the host says "ah very good, you've come as anger!". A girl comes in in dressed all in pink and gives him a hug and he says "ah very good, welcome to the party!" Then two Indian guys come in stark naked, and one of them gouges a hole in a pear and puts his penis into it. The second fills a bowl with custard and starts plunging his penis into it repeatedly... Confused, the host asks them; "Guys, what the hell do you think you're doing?! The theme is emotions, what do you think you're doing??!!!" The first replies "Well, I'm deep in despair" and the second answers "And I'm ******* disgusted!"
Soldato
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Monkey Puzzle said:
terrible :/
Soldato
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- 13 Mar 2006
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each to their own I guess