joke

3 women, a blonde a brunette and a red head are trapped on top of a burning building and they are screaming for help. Moments later the fire brigade arrive at the scene and one fireman shouts to the women.

Fireman: Ladies! we are going to take out the safety net now and I am going to get each of you to jump down one at a time. We need you to follow our instructions quickly. You the Brunette! On the count of 3, jump!

The brunette on the count of 3, jumps and just as she's about to land in the safety net, the firemen pull away and brunette smashes into the pavement.

Fireman: You the Redhead! on the count of 3, jump!

Red head: No way am I going to jump! You pulled away the safety net just now!

Fireman: No no! we pulled away the safety net cause we friggin hate brunettes! We love red heads! Now jump!

So the Redhead bravely leaps. Again, just as she's about to fall into the safety net, the firemen pull away and laugh as she smashes into the pavement.

Fireman: Blondie!! it's your turn! Jump! We have you! Blonde: No way am I going to jump! you ******** pulled away the last two times. Hell if I jump.

Fireman: No no! We hate brunettes and redheads! Truth is we love blondes! Now shut up and JUMP!

Blonde: Hell no! I don't trust you ********! Now hands off the safety net and I will jump!
 
Shhhhhh!!.......
Don't tell anyone...... I'm gonna go down on you....
...And you're gonna love it...........
........But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it........
....Then I'm gonna come back up again and **** you big time.....

Lots of love,
Petrol prices xx
 
Year 2 class in Bradford comes in from playtime. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at playtime?"

Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

The teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a chocolate Hobnob."

She does and gets a chocolate Hobnob.

The teacher asks Michael what he did at playtime.

Michael says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

The teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a chocolate Hobnob."

Michael does, and gets a chocolate Hobnob. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at playtime.

He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Michael, but they threw rocks at me."

The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go to the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a chocolate Hobnob."
 
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