Kind of relationship thread, just needed to type

I'd ignore pretty much anything posted here, have a long, hard think about what I felt was the best thing to do and just do it. If you're so close to this girl then you should be able to broach anything. This sounds like one of these times when it might be really quite important.

Whatever you do is better than worrying about what you should do.
 
i love these threads :D

my advice...

TELL HER

seriously, you have to, or you will not be able to sleep at night knowing she is with her husband making babies
 
Sometimes it is only after being parted from the other person that we realise just how much they mean to us and if your certain of your feelings for this young lady then you must let her know, not only for your sake but hers as well.

If you genuinely feel as you describe in your first post then tell her and good luck to both of you for the future, I wish you all the best. :)
 
badgermonkey said:
nothing will come back to haunt me.
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...oh I dont know about that!

More seriously, I think you just have to sit back and see what happens. If you rush in there all guns blazing then you might affect the friendship and connection you obviously have. What will be will be mate, and I can see how you are hurt by it. Just give it some time and you never know someone else might walk in your life and the both of you can move on together.

And on a second point, engaged after a month and a half? Should be illegal.
 
i was gonna say tell her exactly how you feel, then i checked your profile and saw your 19

mate, you both will be different people with different interests in 5 years time, especially her as thats mostly how it goes with girls, totally change around 21ish

the chances of a relationship making it from teens to 30's is very slim, those that manage it, fair play to them, its a mix of hard work and luck that you didnt grow apart, but generally thats what happens as you become an adult, and i dont just mean legal to drink adult, but experienced in life

tell her you think shes crazy, but you broke up once, it will happen again, whats the point, break the ties, walk away and get on with your life, youre only just started
 
You have to make a very "simple" decision here, which is whether you really want to be with her for a long time (forever, basically) or not. If your break-up was ONLY because you couldn't see each other (as someone who spent 2 years only using e-mails and phone calls to communicate with my then girlfriend and now wife, I find that somewhat difficult to believe) and you are sure that she's the "one" then you should step in right now, tell her how you feel, tell her that she's the one, tell her that YOU want to marry her etc. Go all out, no holds barred, no effort spared.

If you don't feel you want to marry her in the near future/be with her forever, then you're just jealous and it won't work out even if she does leave her current fiancé because you'll just break up again at some point and you'll both blame you for ruining what could have been her ideal marriage etc (even if their marriage would be the worst union on Earth, if it doesn't happen because of you and you two then break up I guarantee that you'll be blamed for ruining it, and she'll believe it was the dream ticket). If this is the case say nothing to her, learn to be happy for her and move on.

So, as I said at the beginning of my post - it's down to a very simple decision: is she the one? Yes/no? The answer determines what you do next.
 
ooo oooo can I say it!?!?!?!....

PUNCH HER IN THE OVARIES!

tbh if it was meant to be it was meant to be. let her move on and dont be a couple wrecker cos you have a history :p
 
Right well I'm a little lot drunk right now, since Wales just beat England etc.

But I read through everything here and decided...


Sod that. Why am I asking people. I'll do what I feel I want to, and if it all goes **** up then woe is me, and that'll learn me to talk about inappropriate things.

So am meeting with her next week, and will be telling her how I feel, and whatever else happens to come out of my mouth at the time.

With regards to finga's age comment though, my age doesn't matter. Most of my good friends are in their late 20s, however age has nothing to do with feeling or maturity. Plenty of people found the person they were meant for at a youngsih age, and plenty of people didnt until they were about 30. I feel I've found them now, and sure, I could be wrong, but testicles to it, there's nothing wrong with actually going for it.

So nuts to pussying around like a whiny emo git, I'll let you guys know how it goes, at the end of the day, I doubt we'll STOP being friends, because we both trust each other enough that we won't stop being friends. Sure it might be awkward for a bit, but it hasn't stopped us before.

So to those who care, wish me luck, to those who think it's a bad idea, I hope you're wrong, and we'll see next week.
 
She is GETTING MARRIED. Why do you want to be the jerk that gets in the way and wrecks that for her? She's happier than you ever made her - if you truly loved her you'd let her be happy instead of selfishly thinking about what you want and what would make you feel better.

Move on before you wreck three people's year (including your own) by doing something stupid on, or near, what is supposed to be one of the best days of her year (valentines day).
 
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Surfer said:
Fair heart never won fair lady.

women still want you to WIN them, fight for them etc...

This is your que(sp?) to get your act in gear and fight for her :D Seriously dude (your situation is a little bit like i was in...)

I mean dude whats the worst that can happen? She'll say no.

But i tell you this. YOU MUST SHOW you are balls out commited to her and love her 100% Basically what this means is you gotta go through hell so she can see you "really" love her etc. How you plan to do that is up to you.
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That's all very well said, but when it comes down to it, she will use that as an excuse in the future.

No thanks, been there already.
Any right minded girl would see past that and see it as a last resort of hope, any girl that falls for it equally undeserving to have someone like that!


I don't like this idea of going all out, seems after that it goes down hill and you can't really top it. :p
 
fini said:
She is GETTING MARRIED. Why do you want to be the jerk that gets in the way and wrecks that for her? She's happier than you ever made her - if you truly loved her you'd let her be happy instead of selfishly thinking about what you want and what would make you feel better.

Move on before you wreck three people's year (including your own) by doing something stupid on, or near, what is supposed to be one of the best days of her year (valentines day).
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LOL tbh if she really was committed to this new guy who shes engaged to after a couple of months (LULZ!) then WHATEVER the OP sais to her (unless he sets the guy up for murder/brainwashes her somehow) IT WON'T CHANGE HER MIND!

To sum this up...
GO FOR GOLD! AND WIN THE GIRL! (BE CONFIDENT!)
 
MT01XP said:
If I were you, I'd move on and go after one of the other 3.3 billion (approx) females on the earth. :D
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Language barriers and long distance may be a slight issue...

But I'm sure theres still 10,000+ girls in very close proximity at your disposal.. Which.. Well, imo is still a substantial amount to go fishing in ;)
 
fair play for doing what you want, but regards to my age comment, you will understand what i mean in, say, 10 years time, the fact your friends are in their late 20s means nothing, your not in a relationship with them, not to mention living with them for a number of years, more years than you've been getting your willy wet too
relationships survive by both parties wanting the same things in life, nothing about maturity and feelings, and women change dramatically as they grow older, whereas men tend to stay pretty much the same, this you will learn with experience lol
good luck with it anyway, personally i feel this will be a cringe moment for you in years to come, something you will try to never remember, and every time it pops up you want to slap your own head hard, but hey, we all have them, part of growing up lol
 
If you're planning on confronting her on Valentines day then that would be the most selfish thing ever. Putting my self in the place of her boyfriend, I wouldn't some ex popping up on that day spouting unrequited love, infact thats the most last thing I'd want, ever. You say you *think* she's not really in love with this bloke but you don't know for sure since you seem to be basing things on how *you* read it. How do you know she is continuing to meet up with you either because it is purely platonic now, or even she just feels sorry for you. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about him to you cos she thinks it may hurt your feelings, and you interpret that as her not really wanting to be with the bloke. Either way, its too late for you to steam in and put stress on a relationship, i.e. her and the bloke, for the sake of your own angst, when you admit you are reading things into the status of their affair in the first post.
 
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