Last night

Soldato
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Last night we had a little grief and it resulted in me being dragged out of a club around the neck by a door man. Before I go on I need to explain:

My friend has worked with me for a few years and found himself in love with a girl we also work with. They were together a fair few months and then decided to go to Australia for 6 weeks together. My friend (we shall call him "Joe" for ease) borrowed money from her (lets call her "Jess") to help fund this trip. As soon as they returned to the UK she split up with him. She told him it wasn't working and she didn't want to be with him. He was devastated, I knew how much he liked her however I also knew what kind of person she was. She's been with men before and always dumped them, she's never been finished herself. I do think she has issues here, she's bragged about being with a wealthy man and getting rid of him because his money ran out, etc etc. Basically she's a bit of a bitch but of course, when my firend decided to get with her all I could be was happy for him, to express any other feeling about them would not be fair to him (even if I didn't like her).

Joe no longer works with us, he is in a much better job now and he has convinced me he is truly over Jess, although it did take some time. Last night was "Rachel's" leaving party. Rachel has worked with us for years and decided to throw a leaving bar crawl around a local town. Joe came with us all, he knows us all and is good friends still, except of course Jess, but he decided to ignore that and not let her get in the way of his friends. It should also be noted that since their split she has done nothing but bad mouth Joe behind his back saying how much of a loser he is. She's even joked about the fact that a few times he rang her and was crying to her that he wanted her back. That was a few months ago now and Joe is over her, he realises that she's not worth that much heart ache if she is going to be the way she is.

Lastnight we all was having a good night. We drank a lot of alcohol and we were all in high spirits and giving Rachel the seeing off she deserved. Although we had a lot to drink we are not the kind of people to cause trouble, we just enjoy a fun night out like any normal person. The last call of the night was to visit one of the local clubs. Its cheap beer and its where Rachel wants to go. It also just so happens to be the place of work for Jess after she has finished her days work at our company. She normally works on the door charging entry and on the bar after that. It should also be noted that she works there unlawfully. She has admitted herself that she works there tax free and that our employer doesn't know she works there and it's the reason why she is often late to work and in a grotty/tired mood when she arrives.

Last night Jess phoned Rachel before we all went out, made her apologies and explained to her that she wasn't feeling well and wasn't coming out. I believe she did that because she knew of the grief we were about to recieve. As soon as we all paid to enter that club my friend Joe was pulled aside by several of the doormen. He was escorted onto the staff room and it was explained to me by the assistant manager "Kerry" (also Jess's flatmate) that he was ok they were just having a word with him. After 15minutes of being there he walked out of there looking rather distressed. Basically the doormen gave him the ultimatum that he pays Jess the money he owes her ASAP or he faces consequences. That was it, I wasn't best pleased, nor were several of our colleagues. We asked him if he was ok, he explained the whole ordeal and I told us all to drink up as we were going to leave straight away. As we did drink up Kerry walked by with a sly smile on her face. I turned to her and told her that this was not on and that Joe and Jess's realtionship/financial issues had nothing to with anyone else and asked her why that just happened. She just shrugged and said its nothing to worry about.

The doormen were watching us all this time and one approached me asking if I had a problem. I replied in a completely none aggressive or threatening manner that I thought that what just happened was unjust and untoward to my friend. At that instant the doorman grabbed me in the usual manner around the neck and literally dragged me out of that club. Two other people including Joe was escorted out too. I didn't put up any fight, they were all bigger than me and of course that would have made matters worse. As soon as I reached the door I was shoved out followed with a barrage of abuse from several doormen. The whole ordeal left me very disappointed because I usually have respect for security staff, last night proved to me that they think they're a cut above other people and that they can use their domineering size and rule over their premises to bully people in situations that have absolutely nothing to do with them. All over a pretty girl that they work with and don't even know that well.

When we all got home we discussed what happened and what to do next. As we see it we all went out to enjoy Rachel leaving our place of work. We intended no trouble for anyone, especially Jess even if she had decided to join us. I am annoyed at her and the staff at that club.

My question is this.. what would you now do? I am very angry at Jess and the staff. Would you:

. Phone the police about the situation. Although its our (drunken) word against theirs, they have used blackmail as a form to threaten Joe.
. Tell our current employer about Jess working for another company unlawfully and that this is the reason for her performance in her job. I know this would most probably lead to her dismissal.
. Tell the correct governing body ( I think its taxes and excise or something) about Jess working illegally as a pay back kind of gesture
. All of the above
. None of the above

Do understand that this has been an ongoing affair of abuse from Jess towards Joe and that for sometime now I have just bit my tongue and not got invloved. I have always written it off as usual relationship break down problems but now I feel it has gone beyond that by her initiating other people to sort out her problems. Its just not on nor is it fair...

Apologies for the rant

CP
 
Last edited:
Captain Planet said:
. Phone the police about the situation. Although its our (drunken) word against theirs, they have used blackmail as a form to threaten Joe.
. Tell our current employer about Jess working for another company unlawfully and that this is the reason for her performance in her job. I know this would most probably lead to her dismissal.
. Tell the correct governing body ( I think its taxes and excise or something) about Jess working illegally as a pay back kind of gesture
. All of the above

In no way keyboard warrior - all of the above. Clearly the dog needs a lesson.

Thing is I would do it all anonymously. Except the police. On the few occasions I've had to give them a call they've always made me feel better from down the phone. I'd advise for your friend just to have a chat with them rather than get anything formal going, might help him feel a bit more confident / safer, that sort of thing.
 
I wouldn't bother grassing anyone up to the authorities for working off the books as that would be stooping to their petty revenge level. I would suggest that "Joe" makes sure that the police have a record that he was threatened, just in case they carry out on that threat.

Joe needs to simply and calmly explain what happened, I'd leave out all "he said she said" bits as the police won't want to know about that. Just tell them that he owes his exgirlfriend some money and last night he was threatened with physical assault by the bouncers at her flatmates club. The plod tend to frown on that type of thing.

Best of luck mate.
How much des he owe? Could his real friends not bail him out to get the hosebeast off his back?
 
I would retaliate against Jess and tell the tax man AND your current employer :D She sounds like a *****. After all why should you get treated like that, all over her. The police wont want to know, but the tax man will be very interested.
 
1. Report the doormen to the local council.
2. Report the club to the Tax office for having workers off the books. Ignorance is no excuse.
3. Report the illegal worker to the IR too.
4. Get your mate to pay Jess the money back.
 
I'm not sure. You've basically been publicly embarrased. She was out of order to do it, but your mate has basically acted in an innapropriate manner by letter her get such an upper hand.

I am not sure that anyone can be as much of a bitch as you have described, although if she was I'm sure it would be a lot easier to approve revenge.

If I were you I would carefully examine whether I wanted to get myself involved in a situation that has arisen as a result of your friends emotional weakness and poor financial planning. I'd seriously consider putting my ego aside and seeing about paying the money back (although this would depend on how large the sum is). You friend could possibly secure a personal loan and free himself from this girl.

I can guaruntee that the situation will not disappear if you make life hard for Jess. It will merely appease the sense that you have stuck up for yourself. Which isn't bad, but often I have to weigh such situations up with the potential problems that an escalation can cause. If you cannot finish a situation very easily, it is not often to get involved - especially if it is not YOUR debt and not YOU who is phoning this girl up in tears.
 
Without knowing the full details it's difficult to say. You say that 'Joe' has been split up from 'Jess' for a while, why hasn't he paid her the money back?
 
ferretmaster said:
So joe borrowed money and wont pay it back?

That is the inference as far as I can see. If it's incorrect, it changes the plot somewhat.
 
I would certainly tell the police about the bouncers. Several times I have seen boucers act completely out of order as if assault laws don't apply to them. Even though they are security staff, they still have to obide by civilian laws. I'd also tell someone about this Jess working illegally. Not to get her back in particular, but simply because its illegal and she is robbing everyone in unpaid taxes.
 
fatiain said:
1. Report the doormen to the local council.
2. Report the club to the Tax office for having workers off the books. Ignorance is no excuse.
3. Report the illegal worker to the IR too.
4. Get your mate to pay Jess the money back.

Sums it up really, sounds like the club is a local menace as is the girl. I wouldn't report it to your workplace. Her splitting up with him is not an excuse for not paying her back.
 
fatiain said:
1. Report the doormen to the local council.
2. Report the club to the Tax office for having workers off the books. Ignorance is no excuse.
3. Report the illegal worker to the IR too.
4. Get your mate to pay Jess the money back.
I'd do the same except there's no way in hell she'd be getting her money back. I'd quite happily take a beating if someone done that to me.

You defiantly need to take this further.
 
Your mate, should pay the money back asap. Only then you/he should consider what actions to take next.
 
cleanbluesky said:

Oh yes I've definitely been embarrased but I can handle that I dont care at all what people in there looking at me thought, after all, I know what happened and why I was handled that way so I am fine in my own mind. The fact is I dont care about me here it's my friend I care about and yes he owes her money and the really stupid part of it is that he has actually signed a written agreement written up by herself that he owes her money and will pay her back.

He in no way wants to cause her grief by not paying her back, he does want to pay her back, he just can't return it all at once because I think it is nearer £1000. He has told her he will repay in weekly instalments and she is not happy with that! He borrowed this money whilst they were together and whilst it is easy for any of us to say "ah well you shouldn't get yourself in that situation" he was after all in a realtionship with her and obviously felt comfortable about doing that. The money was borrowed to pay for him to go to Australia with her so I don't see why he should have had any worries about it in the first place seeing as she suggested it in the first place.

Gah, its hard to not hate and show it. I'm at work with her later today and I can make her life living hell due to my position there but that would be wrong. Its going to be hard to hold back though after what she has done.

I'm tempted stir up some anonomous drug abuse reports about the club too. If any doormen are reading this, please think before you act like you're the mafia or something! I have all due respect for their purpose in their job but when they play the law I lose that respect for the certain few.
 
What about contacting the owner of the club? Such behaviour by members of his/her staff could bring a lot of trouble, so I am sure that the owner would be interested to find out what happened...
 
I have just spoken to Joe and what I didnt know is that the doormen have threatened him that he has until next weekend to pay her or he is going to be beaten up!

He has already started to pay her some of it back, I really dont see the point in all what happened. I have told Joe to phone the police at once to get on file the fact he has been threatened so if anything does happen he has the uppe rhand. I think, like you say, he or myslef should also contact the club owner.

I dont know how she has the cheek.. She lived at his parents for 6 weeks rent free, SHE owes HIS DAD £200. She even drives without insurance! It's all so stupidly petty and all because they once had a relationship. Why can't people just split up and accept they weren't suitable for one another. If they had never got together and he owed her money I really don't think things would have panned out like they have. I'm embarrassed for them! :(
 
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