Let the Probing begin! :)

Orionaut

Orionaut

Orionaut

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Joined
2 Aug 2012
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7,809
Well,

I have just received an invite from the local NHS Bum doctor to have an "Anal Probing" session!

Obviously (especially since my Dad died from Colon cancer 7 years ago) I am going to avail myself of this opportunity.

I have had previous experience of a VC (A CT scan), I have also had previous experience of having a camera stuffed down my throat (That was quite funny actually, see #)

Not had a camera stuffed up my bum before however!

Am minded to remember the VIZ sketch with Roger Mellie of producing a show "Up the Bumhole" (Whose Bum is this, Who has a Bum like this?")

The basis was that quite a lot of celebs would quite like having a wriggly thing stuffed up their bums!

Oh well, I guess I am going to meet "Agent Picolax" again!

(I had to do this for the VC :eek: :eek: :eek:)

#

They wanted to give me a sedative, However I have had past experience of "Sedatives" I react "Badly" so I declined.

By "Badly" I mean full on "Miami Cannibal" Drug induced psychosis!

Last time I had a "sedative" I was 11 (Tooth extraction) and while I came out of it "I" was floating above everything (Really quite calm) watching my body causing thousands of pounds worth of damage smashing up the hospital and trying to kill anybody who came anywhere near me/it!

So I basically insisted on having the procedure done without, In the middle of it though, when they were stuffing this thing down my throat, I just got the image of them pushing it down so far it was going to come out the other end.

At that point I got the giggles!

You cant, of course, giggle with a camera stuffed down your throat, all you can do is twitch, choke, and judder!

They were about to call the crash cart but I gave them the thumbs up so they were happy to continue with the procedure.

When it was all over I explained to them that I had got the giggles but by the slack jawed look on their faces I can only surmise that I am the only person in recorded medical history that ever got the giggles during an endoscopy!

Ho, Hummn! :D
 
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I've never had one, but from what I've heard from others stay very close to a toilet when you take the laxative the day before - and make sure the path to the toilet is clear from obstacles. :eek:
 
darael said:
I've never had one, but from what I've heard from others stay very close to a toilet when you take the laxative the day before - and make sure the path to the toilet is clear from obstacles. :eek:
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So very true, the oral enema is worse than the camera, IED for the colon, I kid you not.
 
Stick one of these in your arse for them to find.

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And make sure it's a real Doctor and don't fall for any 'It's a temporary office we're just using for the day' trick if it's an old derelict Portacabin they do it in.
 
darael said:
I've never had one, but from what I've heard from others stay very close to a toilet when you take the laxative the day before - and make sure the path to the toilet is clear from obstacles. :eek:
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As I said, I have had the experience of "Agent Picolax" before!

The World really does fall out of your bottom!


The only other experience that compares is the "So Called" winter vomiting bug!

DO NOT CATCH THIS!

When I had this a couple of years ago I really thought I was going to die (Ruptured gut from the extreme vomiting, stroke, heart attack, whatever)

It also came on really fast.

Literally 30 seconds between feeling "Hmm I dont feel quite right" and being totally incapacitated! :eek: :eek:

I am just so glad that I was at home, 5 minutes earlier I was driving! I really do not know how I would have dealt with it, I really don't!
 
That was my experience of Noro virus as well. Never been so ill one minute feeling maybe a bit iffy and within 10s I had projectile vomitted all over my hall way trying to reach the toilet.

OP, what age do you start getting these?
 
I doubt its that bad, not like the camera has the circumfrance of a broom handle. Hope its negative.

Edit: the result not the experience.
 
The first one I had hurt like hell afterwards. I wasn't expecting much and drove myself there. I had to drive home with my backside hovering above the car seat. I felt like they had filled me full of air. I was In pain for almost 2 days afterwards.

I hope yours is not as bad as that! Hot bath after being violated helps!

Try not to fight it :D Those Homosexuals must be made of tough stuff.
 
Jokester said:
That was my experience of Noro virus as well. Never been so ill one minute feeling maybe a bit iffy and within 10s I had projectile vomitted all over my hall way trying to reach the toilet.

OP, what age do you start getting these?
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Anybody who has not experienced this really has no idea.

I really thought I was going to die.

I am mid 50's

I was retching every 20 seconds for about 4 hours, and really hard!

Each time I retched I felt the pressure in my head and wondered if that was when I was going to stroke out,

My pulse was near 200 (Yes I did count it) for all this time!

The Guts really hurt. (I am amazed I didn't end up rupturing something)

Noro-Virus is horrible! I am amazed that more people do not actually die from it!
 
I lost about 6lb from it, would have completely emptied my gut - as you say it felt like my abdominal muscles were trying to wring every last drop of matter out of there like you would wring a wet cloth.

Food never tasted so good again after 5 days.
 
If the military could weaponise the oral enema I'm sure it could stop any army/terror group.

The camera is not too bad, uncomfortable but not unbearable, a little nip here and there if they take samples but on the whole something that is forgettable and not so much an ordeal as it seems it could be before you have it.
 
Best of luck. Think of the following movie scene, and it'll be alright:

After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I'm offering is the truth.
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