Looking for advice...

413x said:
I feel with his last reply you've hopefully got a get out.

He's threatened.. He's moved on to emotional black mail, but at the end he's parked it.
Sounds a bit unstable to me.

I would no longer reply. As in no more at all.
And hope that's the last of it.
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Agreed no response required to that last message, let it die there.
 
aaronyuri said:
It can be read in multiple ways - this is the problem with texts. He could just want to talk face to face and put this to bed. I don't think the texts that have been described are conclusively threatening - they could imply it but that could be a simple misunderstanding.

If you had a seemingly great friendship and it suddenly evaporated before your eyes because of a bit of money, would you be a bit confused? I know I would.

Solely based on the OP's description of events, this doesn't make sense unless this guy has gone off the rails. You can call it emotional blackmail or you could call it someone that is genuinely hurting and confused, and wants to resolve the situation and fight for this friendship that they value.

But this is an idiotic place to post such a question, because the obvious answer, based on limited information, is that this guy has lost it and that should be the end of it. But it's not. Why does the OP keep replying? Because he clearly values/valued the friendship. That means there's history and this isn't simple.

This post has a fraction of the facts, next to zero of the history of the friendship, and knee jerk reactions in nearly every post. Pointless thread is pointless.

And I say this as someone that already said to bin said person off (https://forums.overclockers.co.uk/threads/looking-for-advice.19009373/post-38132235), but the neverending nature of this situation has changed my mind.
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No.

This is textbook NPD/BPD behaviour.

The splitting, painting the OP black, gaslighting, refusal to take any kind of blame or any responsibility for either causing or trying to resolve the situation.

A normal person & proper friend would have - way before it escalated to the current situation - said something like, "tell you what mate, let's catch up for a drink when you're free and see how we can sort this out" and it most likely would have been resolved in an adult fashion.

Instead the OP's friend is acting like a child who has been told "no" and is now throwing a tantrum about a situation of their own making.

bloodiedathame said:
This is textbook what gaslighting makes you feel like.
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Please listen to this :(
 
Haggisman said:
No.

This is textbook NPD/BPD behaviour.

The splitting, painting the OP black, gaslighting, refusal to take any kind of blame or any responsibility for either causing or trying to resolve the situation.

A normal person & proper friend would have - way before it escalated to the current situation - said something like, "tell you what mate, let's catch up for a drink when you're free and see how we can sort this out" and it most likely would have been resolved in an adult fashion.

Instead the OP's friend is acting like a child who has been told "no" and is now throwing a tantrum about a situation of their own making.



Please listen to this :(
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No, that is your opinion. Everyone in here pretending they have a psychology or human behavioural degree is astounding.

Are you Internet diagnosing someone with a personality disorder based on text messages written by someone receiving them onto a forum? Stop it. That's enough Internet for today.
 
aaronyuri said:
No, that is your opinion. Everyone in here pretending they have a psychology or human behavioural degree is astounding.

Are you Internet diagnosing someone with a personality disorder based on text messages written by someone receiving them onto a forum? Stop it. That's enough Internet for today.
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Yes I am, no mentally stable person communicates like that or escalates such a trivial matter in such a way
 
aaronyuri said:
No, that is your opinion. Everyone in here pretending they have a psychology or human behavioural degree is astounding.

Are you Internet diagnosing someone with a personality disorder based on text messages written by someone receiving them onto a forum? Stop it. That's enough Internet for today.
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If everything OP posted is true, his supposed friend is a full blown narcassistic abuser. How do you think psycologists make diagnoses? It's from paterns of behavior and attitudes. If someone is showing all the symptoms of a personality dissorder they either have it or OP is misrepresenting them. There's not a middle ground.
 
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aaronyuri said:
No, that is your opinion. Everyone in here pretending they have a psychology or human behavioural degree is astounding.

Are you Internet diagnosing someone with a personality disorder based on text messages written by someone receiving them onto a forum? Stop it. That's enough Internet for today.
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Are you assuming that some people in here don't hold a MSc in Clinical Psychology and then went on to complete a doctorate in Criminal/Forensic Psychology?
 
Malevolence said:
Are you assuming that some people in here don't hold a MSc in Clinical Psychology and then went on to complete a doctorate in Criminal/Forensic Psychology?
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Or simply that some of us have had the misfortune of becoming entangled with NPD/BPD in our lives and have learned to see the warning signs.

Regardless of whether they are actually diagnosed with/suffering from the condition or not, their behaviour is identical, so the difference is purely academic
 
aaronyuri said:
No, that is your opinion. Everyone in here pretending they have a psychology or human behavioural degree is astounding.

Are you Internet diagnosing someone with a personality disorder based on text messages written by someone receiving them onto a forum? Stop it. That's enough Internet for today.
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The person the OP is dealing with 100% has some sort of personality disorder, I unfortunately had an ex who showed very similar behaviours and they literally wreak havoc on people who feel normal emotions

@OP you don’t seem to be following through with advice, you need to either tell this person the friendship is done and block them or just block them. Don’t allow the manipulation to continue, stop engaging with them completely
 
Haggisman said:
Or simply that some of us have had the misfortune of becoming entangled with NPD/BPD in our lives and have learned to see the warning signs.

Regardless of whether they are actually diagnosed with/suffering from the condition or not, their behaviour is identical, so the difference is purely academic
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I swear, every single person I've ever met beyond myself who has really had to deal with it develops a damned radar that sets off the mental equivalent of a WW2 era air raid siren.

Alarm bells don't even come remotely close, it's absolute hell incarnate being closely involved with someone like that, especially in a romantic sense. I get that there's people with BPD at least who make an effort to improve via various treatments, but unfortunately many either don't or lapse to the point too much damage is done to be forgiven.

I run a mile at this point, I don't blame anyone else that does the same, it's not worth your sanity.
 
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Mr Badger said:
So he's come down from £120 to £100. Good to see some real progress being made.
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£100+ VAT, which he was clearly going to declare....

Is this going to become the OCUK "Storm Area 51, they can't stop us all!"?
I will pledge my 2+KG CNC Aluminium keyboard to the fight! (actually, depending where it is, not sure icba :P )
 
EvilRob said:
He's created a story where you are the emotionally detached, indifferent person wounding him and his family over £100 because of your terrible character despite the fact he could just as easily let it go. It's pure coercion.

You seem to keep telling him you aren't going to reply anymore and then replying...
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100%... If we assume that OP is has a fully loaded letterbox, then surely any sane person on the other side would just say "Ok, thanks for taking the mask off, good riddance".

Cut contact, if he turns up then involve the police
 
I feel for the OP, but is it wrong I'm following this with more enthusiasm than any TV show atm?

I will be tuning in tomorrow night for sure.
 
Malevolence said:
Are you assuming that some people in here don't hold a MSc in Clinical Psychology and then went on to complete a doctorate in Criminal/Forensic Psychology?
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Some here certainly don't - that's agiven. I'd like to think (and be comfortable with the idea) that a true psychologist wouldn't attempt to conclude on a diagnosis without at least speaking to the patient themselves over multiple sessions and only then forming a diagnosis. Or would said Internet-proclaimed psychologists Internet diagnose people based on second hand text messages? I am genuinely curious at this stage.

If anyone here does happen to hold an MSc in Clinical Psychology and then went on to complete a doctorate in Criminal/Forensic Psychology, throw in your two pence by all means.

I'm going to be genuinely disappointed if OP is a genuis troll and has ChatGPT being a personality disorder induced ********. No wonder "he" never comes around to OP's house!
 
As long as this thread ends with Eastenders badboom tish closing music we will be looking at the equivalent of a Xmas cliffhanger!! and all be tuned in for the New Years Day episode
 
Maundie said:
As long as this thread ends with Eastenders badboom tish closing music we will be looking at the equivalent of a Xmas cliffhanger!! and all be tuned in for the New Years Day episode
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Dramatic Christmas Eve doorstep scene reaches it's conclusion:

"And never come back."
"But you can't refuse to see me. I'm not just your friend, I'm your father/brother/son*!!!"

Doof Doof, Duff Duff Duff, Da Da Da Da

*Delete as appropriate
 
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