Manager Lingo

[Cosimo]

Yup. Once you reach a certain level in an organisation, you have to adopt the lingo if you want to permeate the ranks and make progress.

It does of course give you the time and opportunity to dream up even more ridiculous management speak.

 

[boxman2000]

It annoys me SO much when people say 'step up to the plate'

Also:
'It's on my radar'
'From the get-go'
'Give 110%'
'Drill down'

 

[Edrof]

"Cascade" is another one. It's used to mean the passing along of training or other valuable information to other employees. So, you'd go to a conference about filofaxes and then cascade it all back to your colleagues.

 

[Participant]

Going forward

I tried to think of an alternative to this, but 'in future' sounds much more arsey.

Anyway the main reason people actually hate these words, is that it reminds them that they are just a grunt .

 

[Scrutinize]

I have to say my favourite is ‘blue sky thinking’ because it give stupid people the freedom to prove they are stupid.

 

[PondPikey]

"Step Back and Look at the Bigger Picture".

Also, hand and arm movements to indicate "Going forward" etc

 

[J.T]

"You are preaching to the converted"

Also used to have a manager who when angry at you would say "I don't give a Monkeys chuff"...

 

[Kemik]

Close of play.

This.

War room - I don't care what you're doing in there... you're not in the army!

High level - what is high level exactly? What does that cover?!

 

[Participant]

Are you all asking yourself why you hate this stuff so much? It gets the message across after all! My theory - you're all rebels!

 

[Scrutinize]

I will be running a focus group with some project staff soon and really want to get 'stand and bang' in there but not sure how yet.

 

[wildman]

take off-line
leverage
joined up thinking

 

[twist3d0n3]

use it at the beginning, something along the lines of "thank you all for coming, over the course of the session we'll stand and bang about the most pressing of issues"

sure to be a winner

 

[Django x2]

Socialising (information)
Evangelist
All Hands Calls
Drive

Yawn

 

[Showboat]

"Let's take this offline"

Drives me mad!

 

[Elixir]

Try using them, you'll be amazed how far it gets you.

Indeed, I have been using them jokingly in the knowledge one day I'll have to swallow my dignity and start speaking like an arse myself.

 

[Spikey Willow]

"Let's take this offline"

Drives me mad!

Came here to post this one.

"Can we talk about this offline?" We're in a physical meeting, not an Internet chatroom!

'organic' is another one.

 

[Admiral Huddy]

"Touch Base"

I'm not touching that matey!

 

[Cosimo]

"Touch Base"

I'm not touching that matey!

"You're fired!"

 

[kiteloopy]

"manage our customers expectations".

 

[Django x2]

"manage our customers expectations".

That's not manager lingo. That's just good business practice