Manly cooking with youstolemyname part2

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 01:58

Manly cooking. That bastion of invincibility that is slowly getting invaded by such pondlife as jamie oliver and james martin.

Real men do not cook. Real men are hunter/gatherers. We bring back the kill for the woman to cook and prepare.

So, without further ado....I present episode two of manly cooking with youstolemyname.

The dish? Afternoon tea. This dish will woo the heart of even the most stone cold woman. Who can resist scones, cream and jam.....washed down with a hot pot of tea.

Ingredients: £6

Method.

Find a ye olde tea shoppe. They are few and far between but when you find one you are on to a winner. I found several in southport today. But shopping around saved me a pound. The first place we visited wanted £3.50 for afternoon tea. Oh no....that isn't man-food.....that's a rip off.

After finding a suitable venue, order your tea. This is usually a choice of darjeeling, english breakfast, earl grey and others. I opted for darjeeling as it is a great tea.

After choosing your tea, you will be asked what type of jam you want. Choose carefully as the type of jam reflects on your persona:

Apricot and you are a Barrymore
Peach and you are a Clary.

Raspberry, Strawberry or Blackcurrant and you can welcome yourself to Andy McNabb's world.

After a short while, your Afternoon Tea will arrive: Two scones, clotted cream ,jam and a pot of tea.

Pay the waitress the £6 and enjoy. You will receive a bonus for this as chicks love afternoon tea. I got to play out till after 1am with my friends tonight. See how far you can push it!

Et voila. Cooking with youstolemyname......all you needed was £6

Scania · 15 Jul 2007 at 02:32

Manly cooking my way - get the G/F to cook for you.

Cost £0

Cupra · 15 Jul 2007 at 02:51

R124/LA420 said:
Manly cooking my way - get the G/F to cook for you.

Cost £0

quoted for trouth although im married and i pay for the food

meghatronic · 15 Jul 2007 at 03:08

£6!?!??!?!?!

Where is this, the Ritz?

Nebzor · 15 Jul 2007 at 03:43

jdickerson said:
£6!?!??!?!?!

Where is this, the Ritz?

They give you an endless supply of sandwiches at the Ritz

daveyj27 · 15 Jul 2007 at 03:52

Benjarghmin said:
They give you an endless supply of sandwiches at the Ritz

Endless supply of tea, coffee, sandwiches, cakes, and hot fresh scones to be exact. Expensive, but very nice indeed.

Nebzor · 15 Jul 2007 at 03:56

daveyj27 said:
Endless supply of tea, coffee, sandwiches, cakes, and hot fresh scones to be exact. Expensive, but very nice indeed.

I'd rather eat their endless supply of sandwiches than scones. The kerfuffle arising from how to say the word scone isn't worth it.

daveyj27 · 15 Jul 2007 at 04:00

Benjarghmin said:
I'd rather eat their endless supply of sandwiches than scones.

The scones at the Ritz genuinely are the best i've ever tasted, the sarnies are nice too though.

PJW · 15 Jul 2007 at 04:23

The image in my mind of a guy sitting in a tea shop eating scones with jam and clotted cream seems rather delicate to me almost.. feminine?.

Anyway...I like ye olde tea shops. Bit of a step up from the humble crisp sandwhich.

daveyj27 · 15 Jul 2007 at 04:29

PJW said:
The image in my mind of a guy sitting in a tea shop eating scones with jam and clotted cream seems rather delicate to me almost.. feminine?.

Hey, if that image of me floats your boat then who am I to bring it crashing down?

I took my wife to The Ritz as a treat before we emigrated. It was just one part of a whole bunch of stuff we did before we left, sort of a "goodbye to Britain" kind of thing.

Scuzi · 15 Jul 2007 at 05:46

"Scawn" or "Scoan"?

monkeyspank · 15 Jul 2007 at 08:47

Scones - gay
jam - gay
pots of tea - gay

£6 could get you a footlong meatball sub and a pint, you big fairy.

stuman · 15 Jul 2007 at 09:20

monkeyspank said:
Scones - gay
jam - gay
pots of tea - gay

£6 could get you a footlong meatball sub and a pint, you big fairy.

you need to fit a yorkie in there ''not for girls'' quality

Amoeba · 15 Jul 2007 at 11:02

Scuzi said:
"Scawn" or "Scoan"?

Skon

gumbald · 15 Jul 2007 at 11:18

Hull - scoan.

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 11:22

its a 'scon' otherwise the joke 'What is the fastest cake in the world.....s'cone!' wouldn't work.

Deluxe1 · 15 Jul 2007 at 11:58

Definitely not "manly".

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 13:11

Deluxe1 said:
Definitely not "manly".

Yes it is.

Firstly you don't do a thing. You don't lift a finger. This is man cooking at its finest.

Secondly, you get to ogle the fit birds in waitress outfits. You know the ones I mean, black dresses with white pinnies. Kinda like a french maid

Thirdly, if your own bird happens to really like tea, scones and jam you score brownie points for pocket change.

Et voila. The man-o-meter is flashing

alexakasloth · 15 Jul 2007 at 13:12

Scoan - southener.

Nebzor · 15 Jul 2007 at 13:13

Youstolemyname said:
Yes it is.

Firstly you don't do a thing. You don't lift a finger. This is man cooking at its finest.

Secondly, you get to ogle the fit birds in waitress outfits. You know the ones I mean, black dresses with white pinnies. Kinda like a french maid

Thirdly, if your own bird happens to really like tea, scones and jam you score brownie points for pocket change.

Et voila. The man-o-meter is flashing

Doesn't really take away the fact you're drinking posh tea out of delicate china whilst indulging in a pot of jam and posh scones. Very lady-like.