Mates ex

Otacon · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:31

Borris said:
Make sure that you ask when you are both standing at a urinal.

That way, he will be so shocked by your disregard for one taboo, he won't mind you disregarding the other.

Gilly · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:31

Borris said:
Make sure that you ask when you are both standing at a urinal.

That way, he will be so shocked by your disregard for one taboo, he won't mind you disregarding the other.

I wouldn't do that. He may turn to you in surprise.

Bracco · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:32

Gilly said:
Who said women were property? Wasn't me.

If one of my mates went out with my ex fiancee I wouldn't speak to them again. Ever.

If my ex ever tried to control their friend like that, then I'd hope that their friend would be grown up enough to realise they weren't worth being friends with.

Siliconslave · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:33

Borris said:
Make sure that you ask when you are both standing at a urinal.

That way, he will be so shocked by your disregard for one taboo, he won't mind you disregarding the other.

lamo

although its not taboo if your both in the same situation, waiting/washing/urinating however otherwise its totally not done if your not at the same place

Otacon · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:33

Bracco said:
If my ex ever tried to control their friend like that, then I'd hope that their friend would be grown up enough to realise they weren't worth being friends with.

Would you go with a friends ex, regardless of their history, knowing it would hurt them?

Desmo · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:36

Bracco said:
Anyone who has a problem with their friend and ex being happy together, really isn't a friend.

Anyone dating their friends ex despite the fact he may still have feelings for her really isn't a friend.

Ask first, it really is that simple. You've got all grounds covered and you will at least know where you stand. Nobody says you HAVE to go by what your mate says. But you will at least know wether you will possibly lose a good mate depending on what you chose to do.

I myself would never do it without my mates full blessing.

Siliconslave · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:37

oh bloody hell, just found out one of my better friends has had a huge crush on her for ages, and is now getting very funny about things...
might be best to just walk away from the whole big mess! Why can live never be easy!

Otacon · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:38

Siliconslave said:
Why can live never be easy!

If only dude

Bracco · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:45

Desmo said:
Anyone dating their friends ex despite the fact he may still have feelings for her really isn't a friend.

Ask first, it really is that simple. You've got all grounds covered and you will at least know where you stand. Nobody says you HAVE to go by what your mate says. But you will at least know wether you will possibly lose a good mate depending on what you chose to do.

I myself would never do it without my mates full blessing.

Do you really think that the guy would be in a relationship with someone else if he still had feelings for his ex? He can't be with someone else and stop his ex being happy.

Otacon · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:46

Bracco said:
Do you really think that the guy would be in a relationship with someone else if he still had feelings for his ex?

It happens. I've been there.

Haly · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:47

Otacon said:
It happens. I've been there.

Yup, sadly not as uncommon as many would like it to be.

Siliconslave · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:47

Bracco said:
Do you really think that the guy would be in a relationship with someone else if he still had feelings for his ex? He can't be with someone else and stop his ex being happy.

there is a vague suggestion that he pretty much instigated the brake up to go off with the new lady, they did get together pretty quickly after thinking about it...

edit: I think you always have some kind of feeling for exs, specially long term ones. You can't spend that much time with someone and not. Although if anything seriously bad happens between the two of you that will more than likely override any positive feels you had for them

Bracco · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:50

Otacon said:
It happens. I've been there.

So basically, men can do what they want and get into new relationships just, because, but women aren't allowed to get on with their lives?

Kell_ee001 · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:50

Bracco said:
Do you really think that the guy would be in a relationship with someone else if he still had feelings for his ex?

Yes - I've had ex's tell me they still love me when they have a new girlfriend before.

One even proposed, at my party, when he had just started dating another girl, who he had brought along as his date! :eek:

Siliconslave · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:51

Bracco said:
So basically, men can do what they want and get into new relationships just, because, but women aren't allowed to get on with their lives?

i don't think its the sex of the people thats making the difference mate, for one thing Otacon never said if was him or the girl he was going out with that had the feeling...

Otacon · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:52

Bracco said:
So basically, men can do what they want and get into new relationships just, because, but women aren't allowed to get on with their lives?

Not sure I see what you're getting at. I'm not saying that two women in the same situation would be exempt from the same principal, if that's what you mean? (Pretty sure it isn't that though - I've not posted anything close to that effect).

Bracco · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:55

Otacon said:
Not sure I see what you're getting at. I'm not saying that two women in the same situation would be exempt from the same principal, if that's what you mean?

All of the examples that have been given have been the man refusing to let their ex girlfriend be happy. I guess I just didn't word it properly.

Desmo · 27 Feb 2006 at 15:58

Bracco said:
Do you really think that the guy would be in a relationship with someone else if he still had feelings for his ex? He can't be with someone else and stop his ex being happy.

Well yeah, it does happen. Depends who made the break really.
This isn't really about stopping an ex from being happy. It's about keeping your mates.

Otacon · 27 Feb 2006 at 16:01

Bracco said:
All of the examples that have been given have been the man refusing to let their ex girlfriend be happy. I guess I just didn't word it properly.

It's nothing to do with any relationship with the ex - it's to do with the relationship between you and your mate. For them to pursue something/someone knowing it would be an emotional blow to you would be quite a betrayal, in my eyes.

[edit]That isn't worded great, but I hope you can get my drift. Taking it from a hetrosexual mans perspective - it's not what she's doing (as you rightly have no moral expectation over her, anymore) - it's what your friend is doing.

Bracco · 27 Feb 2006 at 16:01

Desmo said:
Well yeah, it does happen. Depends who made the break really.
This isn't really about stopping an ex from being happy. It's about keeping your mates.

So you can honestly tell me that if you split with piggy and a year later there were no feelings, you still wouldn't want her to be happy with a friend of yours, because that would mean neither of them had "respect" for you? Or would you be grown up enough to realise that if you are a true friend then all you want is for him to be happy?

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