Late night out. Coming home, three of us, very drunk. For some reason ( no idea why ) this enormous bloke came running down the road towards us, screaming his lungs out how he was going to ***** kill us. Two of us stood there ( wobbling a bit ) kinda stunned, wondering what this was about, while the third, smallest and most passive one but equally drunk, ran forward and landed a huge kick in the gallivanting lunatics man-bits. The lunatic went down like a sack, screaming in pain, then rolled about on the floor squeaking "sorry, sorry, so sorry". Two of us just stood there, completely unable to process what had just happened.
Memorable/Hilarious nights out
- Thread starter Macky
- Start date
I’ve had plenty of memorable nights out but this one might raise a smile... if not a huge cringe!
At a house party at university, I lost my phone. Being very inebriated I wasn’t taking it well.
“Have you seen my phone?
“Where’s my phone?!?”
“Someone has nicked my ****ing phone!!!”
I was causing such a nuisance that a squad of people started to help me, half wanting to shut me up and the other half (deeply inebriated) on a moral quest to help their fellow party-goer.
Increasingly agitated, I was offered the comforts of “mate, I haven’t seen you with it all evening - you probably left it at home” and “even if you did lose it, it’s just a phone - happens to the best of us”.
I then had a brainwave.... someone could call me!! It just so happened that the people there with me either didn’t have their phones or didn’t have my number, which I couldn’t remember.
Frustrated out of my mind, I declared to my squad “oh my ****ing god you lot are useless - if you want something done properly you’ve just go to do it yourself” - before pulling my phone out of my pocket and putting it to my ear in an attempt to call myself.
At a house party at university, I lost my phone. Being very inebriated I wasn’t taking it well.
“Have you seen my phone?
“Where’s my phone?!?”
“Someone has nicked my ****ing phone!!!”
I was causing such a nuisance that a squad of people started to help me, half wanting to shut me up and the other half (deeply inebriated) on a moral quest to help their fellow party-goer.
Increasingly agitated, I was offered the comforts of “mate, I haven’t seen you with it all evening - you probably left it at home” and “even if you did lose it, it’s just a phone - happens to the best of us”.
I then had a brainwave.... someone could call me!! It just so happened that the people there with me either didn’t have their phones or didn’t have my number, which I couldn’t remember.
Frustrated out of my mind, I declared to my squad “oh my ****ing god you lot are useless - if you want something done properly you’ve just go to do it yourself” - before pulling my phone out of my pocket and putting it to my ear in an attempt to call myself.
When younger we were out at our local village pub, myself and a mate (also a member of this forum) used to go out at least half cut. My mate Jon's pre pub tipple that evening was red wine which he consumed in quantities more akin to squash.
After trying to chat another mates mum up who for some reason was giving us a lift to the pub we arrived to meet a much larger group of friends, pretty much annihilated before we'd even really started. I don't actually recall a great much else of the evening myself beyond a moment around an hour after we arrived, when a chap walked past the group and said "nice redecoration Jon!". It only became apparent what this cryptic sentence meant when I next went to to toilet. What greeted me was honestly something I have never seen since, or even thought possible (to this day we have no Idea how he managed it). It was like something out of a horror movie or what I imagine an abattoir looks like. Red vomit was honestly everywhere, It was on every wall, in sinks, in urinals and all over the floor but the thing that turned it from just being just an impressive achievement to an unbelievable one was that it was also dripping off the ceiling as well. I have honestly never seen anything like it and the only explanation we could come up with was that it must have come out under extreme force whilst he fell and sort of span around.
I have no Idea how the landlord dealt with that but it was gone following week.
After trying to chat another mates mum up who for some reason was giving us a lift to the pub we arrived to meet a much larger group of friends, pretty much annihilated before we'd even really started. I don't actually recall a great much else of the evening myself beyond a moment around an hour after we arrived, when a chap walked past the group and said "nice redecoration Jon!". It only became apparent what this cryptic sentence meant when I next went to to toilet. What greeted me was honestly something I have never seen since, or even thought possible (to this day we have no Idea how he managed it). It was like something out of a horror movie or what I imagine an abattoir looks like. Red vomit was honestly everywhere, It was on every wall, in sinks, in urinals and all over the floor but the thing that turned it from just being just an impressive achievement to an unbelievable one was that it was also dripping off the ceiling as well. I have honestly never seen anything like it and the only explanation we could come up with was that it must have come out under extreme force whilst he fell and sort of span around.
I have no Idea how the landlord dealt with that but it was gone following week.
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Lost a mate on a stag do, in a club in Dusseldorf. Didn't think too much of it at the time but was pretty worried when we woke up the next morning and he still wasn't in the hotel.
He came strolling in around 7am and it turned out he fell asleep in the cloakroom and they just left him there as it was pretty much a 24 hour club.
Same stag do, we were with our friend Karl who is in a wheelchair. We all went in a club which was down about 40 steps. Queue half a nightclub trying to carry him back up the stairs at 3am whilst all ******.
Also, don't offer to take a stag do on a tour of the old town in Dusseldorf during the day when you have a guy in a wheelchair in tow. Cobbled roads and hungover wheelchair users do not mix.
He came strolling in around 7am and it turned out he fell asleep in the cloakroom and they just left him there as it was pretty much a 24 hour club.
Same stag do, we were with our friend Karl who is in a wheelchair. We all went in a club which was down about 40 steps. Queue half a nightclub trying to carry him back up the stairs at 3am whilst all ******.
Also, don't offer to take a stag do on a tour of the old town in Dusseldorf during the day when you have a guy in a wheelchair in tow. Cobbled roads and hungover wheelchair users do not mix.
Soldato
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That sounds like any Italian taxi, to be fair.
The most memorable are typically ones I wish I could forget, because they're memorable for the wrong reasons be it falling in a bush and crapping my pants or getting in a fight and almost killing the guy when he collapsed and clonked his head on the concrete floor then spending months paranoid the police are after me
Most memorable good one would be the year Andy Murray won wimbledon the first time. Was drinking on the sea front with friends, then we went to the city centre to catch the final on the huge screen that had been put up, then went to a pub to do a quiz which was great fun. In all probably the best day/night out I ever had
Most memorable good one would be the year Andy Murray won wimbledon the first time. Was drinking on the sea front with friends, then we went to the city centre to catch the final on the huge screen that had been put up, then went to a pub to do a quiz which was great fun. In all probably the best day/night out I ever had
Work away weekend - was ******* down all day so all of the activities that were planned were called off. We had hired the whole hotel (there were around 80 of us) and with the company covering the bar bill, drinking was the only activity available really. The party got quite out of hand and the place got a bit trashed, while the bar staff ended up on the dance floor and we took over serving at the bar. Management had to do a stocktake the next day to work out what we'd drunk as recording stuff on the till kind of gave up around 9pm.
The bar bill and cleanup was in the tens of thousands (is that a vintage whiskey? No idea, just stick it in the glass. Where's the barman? Oh, twerking on the dancefoor. Keep going chaps).
Ooops! The night is the stuff of legends at work though.
The bar bill and cleanup was in the tens of thousands (is that a vintage whiskey? No idea, just stick it in the glass. Where's the barman? Oh, twerking on the dancefoor. Keep going chaps).
Ooops! The night is the stuff of legends at work though.
Soldato
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- 30 Sep 2005
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- 16,735
Damn, that reminds me when my dippy mate ordered a taxi from my house to his sisters. The taxi drove 15mins to my house, then literally took us around the corner to his sisters.
I was like, why didn't you say she only lived just round the corner. Wasn't happy as the taxi driver wanted £10 lol
I recall a night out in Manchester where it was only me, @doodah and a friend from my moss side days getting sozzled around printworks etc.
At the end of the evening, a nicely stewed @doodah heads toward the exit so I follow as we're either grabbing a fag or jumping to another place - I see him creep away like a prancing paedophile down the stairs to the exit, followed by an extremely cute brunette... he then ducks sideways into some nook and as she approaches he jumps out, hands/arms splayed letting off a shrieky "blehh!", tongue out and everything, like a child on a playground (this is away after uni days haha!) then he quickly bolted around and pranced down the remaining stairs and out the club giggling like a little girl
I was behind the girl so never got to see her reaction, but I was in fits for the next few days every time it came back into my head haha
At the end of the evening, a nicely stewed @doodah heads toward the exit so I follow as we're either grabbing a fag or jumping to another place - I see him creep away like a prancing paedophile down the stairs to the exit, followed by an extremely cute brunette... he then ducks sideways into some nook and as she approaches he jumps out, hands/arms splayed letting off a shrieky "blehh!", tongue out and everything, like a child on a playground (this is away after uni days haha!) then he quickly bolted around and pranced down the remaining stairs and out the club giggling like a little girl
I was behind the girl so never got to see her reaction, but I was in fits for the next few days every time it came back into my head haha
Haha that's funny although the ending was kind of expected. But it's amazing how stress inducing it is when you think you're phone is lost.I’ve had plenty of memorable nights out but this one might raise a smile... if not a huge cringe!
At a house party at university, I lost my phone. Being very inebriated I wasn’t taking it well.
“Have you seen my phone?
“Where’s my phone?!?”
“Someone has nicked my ****ing phone!!!”
I was causing such a nuisance that a squad of people started to help me, half wanting to shut me up and the other half (deeply inebriated) on a moral quest to help their fellow party-goer.
Increasingly agitated, I was offered the comforts of “mate, I haven’t seen you with it all evening - you probably left it at home” and “even if you did lose it, it’s just a phone - happens to the best of us”.
I then had a brainwave.... someone could call me!! It just so happened that the people there with me either didn’t have their phones or didn’t have my number, which I couldn’t remember.
Frustrated out of my mind, I declared to my squad “oh my ****ing god you lot are useless - if you want something done properly you’ve just go to do it yourself” - before pulling my phone out of my pocket and putting it to my ear in an attempt to call myself.
Oh ****, story retracted!Reminds me of a great night out in Ayia Napa back in 2003. We had to step over a couple of dead Russian's to get into our room. It turned out they weren't quite dead but definitely needed urgent help and stomachs pumped.
Soldato
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- 10 May 2004
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- Sunny Stafford
Some cracking stories here fellas!
Mine are mostly standard student fare in comparison with me and 4 housemates. All on different nights and all 5 of us involved:
- Christmas party and we nicked the DJ's Santa outfit
- Me puking into my computer keyboard after a night out
- Being puked on myself in a taxi
- Housemate swimming across a river as as dare
- Helping a housemate stagger back home
- All of us randomly buying biscuits at a 24-hour ASDA
- Housemate doing a moonie (again standard student fare)
- Pranking local takeaways with Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboards... I'm showing my age here!
- A DJ who got thrown out for playing manga porn on the big screen lol
- Housemate drinking beer from a glass but it was actually someone else's puke!
Outside of uni, I went on a stag night where the groom-to-be got pranked. The best man printed 250 business cards advertising the services of a male prostitute. It had the groom's phone number on it, along with the alias "Mr Dominator". Us stag guys were then asked to hand the cards out to people, place on beer mats, on random tables, pool tables, menu holders etc. Before long, the groom was hounded with phone calls and text messages from people making enquiries about his "services"
Mine are mostly standard student fare in comparison with me and 4 housemates. All on different nights and all 5 of us involved:
- Christmas party and we nicked the DJ's Santa outfit
- Me puking into my computer keyboard after a night out
- Being puked on myself in a taxi
- Housemate swimming across a river as as dare
- Helping a housemate stagger back home
- All of us randomly buying biscuits at a 24-hour ASDA
- Housemate doing a moonie (again standard student fare)
- Pranking local takeaways with Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboards... I'm showing my age here!
- A DJ who got thrown out for playing manga porn on the big screen lol
- Housemate drinking beer from a glass but it was actually someone else's puke!
Outside of uni, I went on a stag night where the groom-to-be got pranked. The best man printed 250 business cards advertising the services of a male prostitute. It had the groom's phone number on it, along with the alias "Mr Dominator". Us stag guys were then asked to hand the cards out to people, place on beer mats, on random tables, pool tables, menu holders etc. Before long, the groom was hounded with phone calls and text messages from people making enquiries about his "services"
I called him and we have been "seeing" each other ever sinceSome cracking stories here fellas!
Mine are mostly standard student fare in comparison with me and 4 housemates. All on different nights and all 5 of us involved:
- Christmas party and we nicked the DJ's Santa outfit
- Me puking into my computer keyboard after a night out
- Being puked on myself in a taxi
- Housemate swimming across a river as as dare
- Helping a housemate stagger back home
- All of us randomly buying biscuits at a 24-hour ASDA
- Housemate doing a moonie (again standard student fare)
- Pranking local takeaways with Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboards... I'm showing my age here!
- A DJ who got thrown out for playing manga porn on the big screen lol
- Housemate drinking beer from a glass but it was actually someone else's puke!
Outside of uni, I went on a stag night where the groom-to-be got pranked. The best man printed 250 business cards advertising the services of a male prostitute. It had the groom's phone number on it, along with the alias "Mr Dominator". Us stag guys were then asked to hand the cards out to people, place on beer mats, on random tables, pool tables, menu holders etc. Before long, the groom was hounded with phone calls and text messages from people making enquiries about his "services"
Family friendly like the time you came home with an entire tree branch in your afro after sleeping all night in the middle of forest after one of the Rave in the Woods?
Or the time you insisted I wake you up when the takeaway arrived but you were so comatose that even taking the guard-less standing fan to your exposed "soldier at-ease" didn't cause a flinch?
Or the time I hooked up that sick VIP night for at least 20 of us at that London club for your 30th birthday that you didn't actually turn up to? Haha we all had a sick night, at least!
Or hey, how about the bathtub urinal story? Is that family friendly?
I can't believe how many @doodah stories there are hahahaha so many
Soldato
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I called him and we have been "seeing" each other ever since
That's great to hear, Mrs Dominator
