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Middle aged life

Not had a midlife crisis but as someone that’s 55 and both parents died very early 70s it is quite alarming how short life is. Just recovering from an operation that I’ve been waiting for since December so looking forward to getting the mountain bike out in a few weeks and hit the hills again
 
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I read an article about how happy we generally are throughout our lives on bbc news the other day. Apparently most people are happiest in their 20s, then it goes down to a low point in our 40s/50s, then goes back up in our 70s, its similar to a U shape on a graph basically.

According to that I should be really unhappy but i'm the most content i've ever been in my middle age years. I don't have the amazing fun I had in my late 20s. Worst time for me was ealy 30s to mid 40s. I think how our life plays out is the biggest contributor, not necessarily our age.
 
I think, especially over here, we confuse being content with being happy.

I only know this as Finland often comes out as the happiest population in the world and 'happy' is not what you'd call Finns.

Content, oh very much yes.

This message has been approved by the Finnish representative (my OH) who almost seemed offended that her country would be called 'happy'.
 
Tykey said:
I read an article about how happy we generally are throughout our lives on bbc news the other day. Apparently most people are happiest in their 20s, then it goes down to a low point in our 40s/50s, then goes back up in our 70s, its similar to a U shape on a graph basically.

According to that I should be really unhappy but i'm the most content i've ever been in my middle age years. I don't have the amazing fun I had in my late 20s. Worst time for me was ealy 30s to mid 40s. I think how our life plays out is the biggest contributor, not necessarily our age.
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Yeah what happens in your life plays a much bigger part I think than age alone. In my 20's I was skint and stressed a lot, though I did have kids young. Now I'm comfortable financially, fitter than ever and I would say pretty content.
 
adidan said:
I think, especially over here, we confuse being content with being happy.

I only know this as Finland often comes out as the happiest population in the world and 'happy' is not what you'd call Finns.

Content, oh very much yes.

This message has been approved by the Finnish representative (my OH) who almost seemed offended that her country would be called 'happy'.
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I’m convinced (by having worked for and with Finns as well as 3-4 visits to Helsinki) that their “Everything here is depressing and terrible” act is a facade to keep foreigners out so they can enjoy their country in peace.
 
I wish I was back in my 60's - I am now suffering severe heart failure - Asked Doc what that meant.
He said think of yourself as a Ford Anglia with 1mill miles on clock and never had a service.

The thing I have noticed is parents never tell you what you are heading into - Athough they are ill they never describe it and when you get it it's a shock because you never knew the symptoms only what they suffered at end.

.
 
DXP55 said:
I wish I was back in my 60's - I am now suffering severe heart failure - Asked Doc what that meant.
He said think of yourself as a Ford Anglia with 1mill miles on clock and never had a service.

The thing I have noticed is parents never tell you what you are heading into - Athough they are ill they never describe it and when you get it it's a shock because you never knew the symptoms only what they suffered at end.

.
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That’s part of putting on a brave face for your children.
 
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Touching 53 very soon so I guess, I can class myself as middle aged ? Really do like it when I goto the pool and some of the old timers say 'alright young un', i'll take that :)

Don't think I have had a midlife crisis yet but have to say the past 12 - 18 months have been, well a roller coaster to say the least. In my mind I don't feel 53, I still feel in my 30's based on what I watch, what I do, what I enjoy.

On a personal level, I work for a good company and am well rewarded. Knock on effect, me and Mrs L have been able to do more travelling and genuinely I wish this is something we would have done much sooner. Yes it can cost you £££ but genuinely enriches you on the other side.

I guess on the other side of it, have been in hospital for three throat operations over the last 18 months which really does take it's toll on you mentally. About 8 months clear and I can feel it flaring up again.

Start of this year, my Mum (82 ish) got served notice that she needed to move out of her house, interestingly, it was our first house and she bought it off us but failed to tell us she sold it some years ago and was now a tennant, not an owner. Me and my older brother moved her out and seriously we did not understand the amount of s*** she had been hoarding. Her older house was rotten with damp, up the walls etc etc. This was all around May time. Literally a week after moving into her new house, my step dad went into Hospital where he has been pretty much ever since. We have had a few calls when the doc says you all better come this weekend, you know what they are saying. So 12 weeks of trying to balance work, taking my Mum to hospital, being a good Dad, good husband etc.

On top of that, the cat being run over having a crushed pelvis, and being immobile for about 12 weeks. Then the dog this week having to goto the vets for some kind of weird growth on her back left foot. The dog is important as during covid I had massive health anxiety and she ended up being my tread mill. Every day we walked for miles.

But and it's a BIG but. We have a great friends group. I am fortunate that I did grassroots football coaching for just under 18 years. I coached my eldest from U5's to open age and then when he was about 13, I picked up his younger brothers team. The reason why I reference this is because I strive for balance. Super fortunate that my eldest son's team, majority are still good friends to this day. We are quite social and have quite a few cook outs, get togethers, parties etc, they all turn up, always round ducking in and out of the fridge for a beer or whatever. Loads of banter but more importantly loads of memories. Our best friends, there eldest is very good friends with our eldest, and their youngest is also very good friends with our youngest, separated by a few days of age. Loads of great family holidays together.

So as much as life on one side can be stressful, you got to search for balance on the other side. I will be the first to admit I can be quite an anxious person but one of the biggest lessons I have learned is live in the moment. The amount of times I have lay awake at night stressing on stuff that has never happened or never will happen is ridiculous. I still do it but hey, all I can say is live in the moment.
 
Mid life criseses are for losers.

Just crack on. I am now 50. Fitter than I was when I was 30.

I run, I ride bikes. I want a sports car but can't justify one. Whatever.

I have started fishing again, mainly for mental health. Nature is good. Love it. Do it.

Do some weights (bone density very important), run, walk, ride, whatever. See music, watch movies. Lose weight.

Spend more time with your family and friends.

Be good.
 
Nutty667 said:
Sounds good. 5 years ago I would probably agree with you on the gym front. "Why on earth would you wanna pay to use machines sweated all over by other people?!" But these days, I'm really enjoying it. Plus I feel way fitter than I ever have.
If I had the space for a home gym, I'd set that up and cancel my membership for sure, but that ain't an option.

I don't time myself or push myself that hard, I just do what I want to do there each week and I feel great afterwards.
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I joined up recently too and didn't think I ever would, especially being > 50. . Last time I visited one, maybe 2006 or 2007, I just wasn't impressed. Smelled musty, disgusting showers and lots of men watching themselves in the mirror. Just wasn't for me and didn't look into any others nearby.
What got me joined up this time is now needing to focus more on health and have a lot more free time. I joined a clinic which was at local sports centre a few hours a week for 6 weeks and as part of it we used the gym. Quite enjoyed it. Have been quite active in the past and even though I enjoy walking and cycling, both are dependent on the weather.
I'm far from the oldest there, but the only one with a walking stick I've seen so far :D .
 
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DarrenM343 said:
I joined up recently too and didn't think I ever would, especially being > 50. .
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Same, wife and I re joined the gym last year, really enjoying it, we do some of the classes as well. Swimming, sauna, jacuzzi and steam room all included. Now I wander how people can manage without working out and getting moving etc, it's so good for you, the best medicine!
 
tres said:
I imagine there is a decent number of OCUKers who fall into this bracket.
I'm in my early 40s, about to tip into mid-40s. What sort of mid-life crisis did you have, and how did you deal with it?

I was once all about socialising, travelling, adventure. Now my favourite place is my shed, I'm considering buying a an enormous 'dooer-upper' house, I'm looking at shares in a private aeroplane, and I feel it is essential I start metal detecting. I think I'm giving my wife the ick.
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55 and what I understand to be a mid life crisis from my experience is watching your parents and their generation grow old and die or reach an age/health situation where you'd wish you were dead if you were them. This brings home the sharp reality that your generation is next. Suddenly your mortality comes in to sharp focus. So best get doing things you were always talking about doing but never got around to. For me there is doing lots of touring in Europe on my motorbike. Visiting places I'd wanted to but never did. I also bought myself a Mustang :cry: proper embraced the mid life crisis there and it was the best thing I've ever bought.

My advice would be enjoy life, you only get one and if you are 50 you've got 15 years where you should still be able to do most things you could at 40. So crack on and enjoy it, don't feel guilty for spoiling yourself, do what makes you happy.

edit: Oh I found out last year purely by chance that I have a aortic root aneurysm (52mm) that is going to require open heart surgery soon, that section of my aorta will be cut out and replaced with a plastic tube. I'm not sure if that has changed my attitude much or not. After 6 months I should be back near 100% if things go well. My heart itself is in great condition, coronary arteries clear, calcium score of zero which means no significant calcified plaque in them. Does again remind you that you are shouldn't take health for granted.

Oh and thank the gods for the NHS
 
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