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Middle aged life

41 here, and this past year has been an expensive one. New York for my wife's 40th with our 2 eldests, summer holiday abroad with all the kids, pumped £200k into our house to future proof and expand, lost a load of weight with the help from Eli Lilly... all this and yet I still don't feel fulfilled in life.

I'm fitter than I've ever been, decent job, 4 amazing kids but struggle to really appreciate life, and its passing by so quickly.

I know this isn't classed as a midlife crisis, but never had time to actually reflect on life :D There is no money left anyway, so no Harley Davidson for me.
 
I'm 44 and probably never been happier or healthier, although I am a bit weird, I've been single almost all of my life, no kids, - but I do a lot of personal stuff, I've always had and continued to maintain several hobbies at once.. In recent times I've done a lot more traveling, I have several long term projects on the go one of which is photographing and documenting wild Jaguars in Brazil, so I get up to a lot of weird and wonderful stuff, I find happiness comes from nature - being in and around nature, there is no substitute for it, for me.

Work wise, I've funneled most of my brain and my time into my career and have made it into the top 0.1% earning bracket, but it came at a cost - never letting up, never relaxing or stopping - chasing success and getting it, so it's like an intense balance > hard work > money > nature and hobbies, begin again - with no end in sight. But for me - I don't like the idea of stopping, I like keeping busy, I like keeping my brain active and being challenged. If I do slow down, I'll move away from being a technical hands-on engineer, to being more of a 'run the show' guy, but right now - I'm enjoying things a lot.

I do have my future worries, nobody to share my life - but if I look at myself and my position and ask "Am I a happy fulfilled person?" the answer is absolutely. What the future holds for me I do not know, I only really know how to go after stuff and 'attack' which is kinda how I'm wired - but I also like the uncertainty, I don't really know where I'm going - but that's fine.
 
PapaLazaru said:
Mid life criseses are for losers.

Just crack on. I am now 50. Fitter than I was when I was 30.

I run, I ride bikes. I want a sports car but can't justify one. Whatever.

I have started fishing again, mainly for mental health. Nature is good. Love it. Do it.

Do some weights (bone density very important), run, walk, ride, whatever. See music, watch movies. Lose weight.

Spend more time with your family and friends.

Be good.
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100% sounds like a mid-life crisis :cry:

Riding a bicycle like a 12 year old, Wanting a sport car like every kid did, Going fishing like many teenagers do
 
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48, still trying to figure out if I want to blow all my money having fun, or be a sensible adult and do the house etc lol.
 
getting too old for mid life, last night had an amazing butt burning curry and a bottle of organic Pinotage 14,5 percent , today a moderate walk and then chilled at the top of my favorite viewpoint overlooking Polzeath and the mouth of the Camel estuary, reading my fantasy novel ( posted in tiam ) then down to Polzeath for more of the same , i dont really want much more apart from keeping my health ,but not giving up nice bottles of red, need to surf more i think now my leg is finally healing
 
Andybtsn said:
41 here, and this past year has been an expensive one. New York for my wife's 40th with our 2 eldests, summer holiday abroad with all the kids, pumped £200k into our house to future proof and expand, lost a load of weight with the help from Eli Lilly... all this and yet I still don't feel fulfilled in life.

I'm fitter than I've ever been, decent job, 4 amazing kids but struggle to really appreciate life, and its passing by so quickly.

I know this isn't classed as a midlife crisis, but never had time to actually reflect on life :D There is no money left anyway, so no Harley Davidson for me.
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Done things the opposite way - turning 44 in a couple of weeks, have a 2 1/4 year old boy and started my second career in January. It’s like I finished one life then started another with over 40 years experience, a mortgage and feeling like I’m still in my 20’s… :D
 
I would definitely recommend a set of dip bars ,.I find it hard to stick to a routine with my kettle bell but just a few 30 second holds and a bit of a swing to engage the core does wonders
 
Scougar said:
48, still trying to figure out if I want to blow all my money having fun, or be a sensible adult and do the house etc lol.
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I know. I have same at 41.
Next year house is being sold whatever. But everything else is up in the air.
Next 6 months I'm throwing away/selling off all my tat. And wow. It's actually scary how much I've accumulated just existing in a world where we just spend money on "stuff".

I genuinely think it will take months to get rid of all this.

Still undecided what to do after. But the decision is so big it's crippling!
 
413x said:
I know. I have same at 41.
Next year house is being sold whatever. But everything else is up in the air.
Next 6 months I'm throwing away/selling off all my tat. And wow. It's actually scary how much I've accumulated just existing in a world where we just spend money on "stuff".

I genuinely think it will take months to get rid of all this.

Still undecided what to do after. But the decision is so big it's crippling!
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We sold out house, and moved in with the in-laws (converted barn), with the idea being that we would fix it all up to a nice standard. (They have the in-laws quarters). Probably at least another 200k to get the house to where it needs to be inside and out. The thing with the place is... it has 40 years of junk cars, junk, and hoarded stuff that we need to deal with. My wife and I went from being the children to being the adults of the family and making all the decisions basically. It was very odd. I could go on for hours about neglect, hoarding, covering stuff up (literally) rather than fixing stuff.

This has taught me that no one will want my crap when I'm gone. My wife and I have spent some time decluttering our own stuff as a result so our kid doesn't have to deal with the same thing.

When I visited the UK, I also has to get serious with my own folks and read them the riot act about getting themselves sorted. We'll get them there one day.

p.s. I was TRYING to buy a Porsche before I went on vaca. (Just an old 944 with turbo brakes etc), but it kept breaking, so I am not so keen. Will keep looking for something fun. I still have to buy my 16 year old a car as well. lol.
 
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Can you be both worried and excited about the same set of circumstances? Our eldest is off to University in Feb next year, probably Australia, maybe America if certain matters line up, and that will be a huge change to our family dynamic. She should do it and we're excited for her but it's also the part of the film where I think "OK, this seems important, the rest of the movie is going to be different" and that does worry me. It feels significant and also out of my control, or into the unknown. It'll work out, I know it will - we're hardly unique in "child grows up and spreads their wings" - but I'd be lying if I said I'm ready for it.
 
bainbridge said:
Well I turned 50 this month so unsure if that is classed as mid life or just plain old :)
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Unless you plan to live to 100 (I can think of nothing worse tbh)) then 50 is not midlife, no matter how much some people want it to be. 50 is old. I'm over 60, and well on the way to a very long sleep, which is as it should be and the natural way of things. My son has already told me he will want non of my treasured crap I've spent a lifetime and a fortune accumulating, and will just get a house clearance company in and a skip when I drop dead.
I have just bought another Harley Davidson though.
 
Uther said:
Unless you plan to live to 100 (I can think of nothing worse tbh)) then 50 is not midlife, no matter how much some people want it to be. 50 is old. I'm over 60, and well on the way to a very long sleep, which is as it should be and the natural way of things. My son has already told me he will want non of my treasured crap I've spent a lifetime and a fortune accumulating, and will just get a house clearance company in and a skip when I drop dead.
I have just bought another Harley Davidson though.
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I turn 44 next month - I’m hoping this is halfway through life at the very least. Given life is the only thing we know we’re going to experience, I can’t think of any reason not to have it go on for as naturally long as possible with reasonable medical intervention.

I’ve had no major medical issues or anything requiring ongoing treatment in my life (for which I’m incredibly grateful and very very lucky compared to what some people have to go through) and my parents are both mid 70’s with nothing to complain about so hopefully this continues.

Obviously if anything does change in this respect and life becomes unbearable then that opinion could change, but as I have a 2 year old I hope I can see him through till he’s my sort of age and set him up for the best life possible.
 
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