Middle aged life

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Definitely 40s is when you start to learn use it or lose it is a thing - my 20s and 30s I could run up a mountain even if I'd been mostly inactive for months - now in my mid 40s that really hits me without working up to it.

Yup, it was around mid to late 40's I started to notice. I've always been active but started to notice a lack of strength.

5 days a week in the gym* for the last three years, walking and enduro have sorted that out, I'm stronger than I've ever been and still improving.

*home setup, cable machine, squat rack and barbell.

 

[Rroff]

Yup, it was around mid to late 40's I started to notice. I've always been active but started to notice a lack of strength.

5 days a week in the gym* for the last three years, walking and enduro have sorted that out, I'm stronger than I've every been and still improving.

*home setup, cable machine, squat rack and barbell.

Gym only goes so far - I've not entirely neglected the gym in recent years but back in the summer went on a holiday in Wales involving a bit of hiking and a mountain which back in the day without any prep I'd be flying up in one go in like 20 minutes took nearer an hour with 3 stops - I could get back to my old shape but it wouldn't be maintained if I neglected it like I could in my 20s and 30s.

I could still eat up the flat and downhill like back in the day but uphill was a big difference and a bit humbling.

EDIT: Caveat to that - the first dose of COVID took a lot out of me in terms of core "vitality" which may have had an impact as well, though I feel like I had mostly recovered from that by the beginning of last year.

 

[mid_gen]

You

You can absolutely reverse the damage, your body is amazing at recovering and healing.

You just need to change your lifestyle into an active one. Find a physical activity you enjoy.

Climbing did it for me, it’s such a great activity for older bodies. Low impact, doesn’t wear your joints out, lots of flexibility, lots of resistance training involved, all the things you need to do to keep yourself mobile and healthy as you get older. Even if you never set foot on real rock outdoors you can climb indoors forever, so many centers around now. Plus if you get into outdoor trad climbing you open up a whole world of mountaineering and adventure climbing which is some of the coolest stuff you can do in life imo! Doesn’t cost much once you buy the essential kit either.

TL;DR I smoked and drank my way through my 20s and 30s, now I’m middle aged and ripped. Climbing ftw.

Should add, I'm not a total whipper-snapper still....I've got pretty bad arthritis in both my big toes which kinda sucks for climbing, having to put up with quite a lot of pain at times......but the way I see it, I've still got all my limbs and mobility so can't grumble.

The only thing I've had to scale back is big winter mountaineering days in Scotland, 2-3 hours walk-ins wearing B3 boots and crampons just plays havoc with me toes. Any winter climbing for me these days is climbing waterfalls in Norway next to the road

 

[adam cool dude]

I will be the big 40 this year and am fitter than I have ever been and lightest have been in over a decade! I am also doing more things than I have ever done. I got my private pilots licence last year and did it in close to minimum hours with kids who could be my children taking 10-15 hours longer!

I would say I had a mid life crisis in my early 30's more than anything! Got made redundant, had another child, worked a couple of really horrible jobs.

One thing I have learnt in the past few years however is that you cannot get away with eating junk every day. You have to be disciplined to keep up your levels. I have basically eliminated the majority of processed food and sugar from my diet. I started cycling about two years ago and got myself a road bike. Nothing special but I try to do an average of 40-50 miles a week and that keeps me ticking over at the moment.

 

[mid_gen]

I will be the big 40 this year and am fitter than I have ever been and lightest have been in over a decade! I am also doing more things than I have ever done. I got my private pilots licence last year and did it in close to minimum hours with kids who could be my children taking 10-15 hours longer!

I would say I had a mid life crisis in my early 30's more than anything! Got made redundant, had another child, worked a couple of really horrible jobs.

One thing I have learnt in the past few years however is that you cannot get away with eating junk every day. You have to be disciplined to keep up your levels. I have basically eliminated the majority of processed food and sugar from my diet.

Both my parents had PPLs and I used to fly pretty much every weekend, it's super cool and I miss it, they both had to give up their licenses years ago due to heart issues.....they don't like people with pacemakers flying around!

I've thought about doing my own license, but tbh I don't want that money pit so have got a paragliding lesson lined up which should scratch the flying itch at a fraction of the price

 

[marin]

I'm 62 and go to the gym 2 or 3 times a week for strength training, when the weather gets better I like to get out walking or gravel riding.

My local gym is excellent, just had a £1m upgrade and only costs £275 per year.

I retired at 59 and I'm fitter now than I have been for many years.

 

[Decoman]

One thing I think I've learned, is that building muscle and also wanting to loose weight, is a bad combination.

I was at the gym for 14 days, six days a week (probably too much), mixing up jogging and various weight lifting exercises on every other day, so three hours of jogging and three hours of weight lifting each week.
No weight loss at all. Probably because muscles weight more than fat.

Memory is a little fuzzy on this, but one day at the gym, maybe the first day, I made the mistake of running 10km on a treadmill. Ok stamina, but the leg muscles couldn't deal with it. Had to roll out my leg muscles, which was painful. Left leg was a little funny for a few years later.

Years later, dieted for 80 days, a fair amount of jogging, but not nearly as much as when I was at the gym that one time.
Did loose 6 kg of real body weight, but did not get to remove the fat around the belly, which was a disappointment.
I have also learned that having a low fat percentage, is fairly uncommon.
Didn't want to look like a body builder, but somehow I failed to get rid of the visible belly fat. And I am not an obese person. :|

 

[booyaka]

yeah - 50 at the end of this year....

Been going to the gym most of my 40's and comfortably fitter and carrying way less weight than I was in my 30's.... (down about 4.5 stone and stays stable now)

Kids are older, life is still hectic running my own business, driving around as "dad" taxi for my daughter etc....

Overall - work life balance is good however, need to work in a few more holidays here and there as I want to travel more, but can't complain at all....

 

[Raymond Lin]

One thing I think I've learned, is that building muscle and also wanting to loose weight, is a bad combination.

I was at the gym for 14 days, six days a week (probably too much), mixing up jogging and various weight lifting exercises on every other day, so three hours of jogging and three hours of weight lifting each week.
No weight loss at all. Probably because muscles weight more than fat.

Memory is a little fuzzy on this, but one day at the gym, maybe the first day, I made the mistake of running 10km on a treadmill. Ok stamina, but the leg muscles couldn't deal with it. Had to roll out my leg muscles, which was painful. Left leg was a little funny for a few years later.

Years later, dieted for 80 days, a fair amount of jogging, but not nearly as much as when I was at the gym that one time.
Did loose 6 kg of real body weight, but did not get to remove the fat around the belly, which was a disappointment.
I have also learned that having a low fat percentage, is fairly uncommon.
Didn't want to look like a body builder, but somehow I failed to get rid of the visible belly fat. And I am not an obese person. :|

Calorie deficit = weight loss. You can lose weight and build muscles but it is not easy.

I am trying to do both but I am prioritising weight loss first WITHOUT losing muscles, so I do cardio everyday, and then weights every other day so I minimise muscle loss.

btw, 2 weeks at the gym isn't that long, stick at it for 2 months for more dramatic effect. I don't even jog, I don't even calorie count the food I eat. I eat the same thing I have been eating for the past year.

I have been walking on an incline at the treadmill until that calorie counter reaches a minimum of 750 to 1000, everyday, it takes about 100mins to 1hr 45 depending if i take a 5min break for 1000 cal. There is my daily calorie deficit. I don't run, running is an impact exercise and I want to avoid that. I watched this dude yesterday on the treadmill next to me, one minute he would jog, he would do it for 2 mins and then he would walk for 3. I watched his calorie counter....it was moving at a slower pace than me walking on an incline and he looked like he was dying because of the jogging. I find walking to be a more sustainable pace and therefore I can go on for much longer and as a result, burn more calories. The dude was done after 20mins, he looked dead.

3500cal = 1lb of fat. The maths works out. The days when i do 750 cal is when i do some weights.

I was at 82kg 8 weeks ago, started with 3 days a week at the gym, but I ramped it up the middle of January.

 

[adam cool dude]

Both my parents had PPLs and I used to fly pretty much every weekend, it's super cool and I miss it, they both had to give up their licenses years ago due to heart issues.....they don't like people with pacemakers flying around!

I've thought about doing my own license, but tbh I don't want that money pit so have got a paragliding lesson lined up which should scratch the flying itch at a fraction of the price

It isn't as expensive as I thought initially. They have even reduced the qualifying hours since last October. A LAPL (which is a UK only licence) only requires 30 hours minimum and a PPL only 40 hours now. I came from a background with zero flight knowledge despite having an interest in planes so for someone like yourself it would be very easy. I found a really nice local club with an old timer who teaches for a reasonable rate. You also only need 12 hours worth of flying in a two year period to keep your single engine piston rating current. My club is around £140 per tacho hour so flying once a month as a treat is about the same as a taking the family out for dinner these days!

 

[mrk]

Calorie deficit = weight loss. You can lose weight and build muscles but it is not easy.

I am trying to do both but I am prioritising weight loss first WITHOUT losing muscles, so I do cardio everyday, and then weights every other day so I minimise muscle loss.

btw, 2 weeks at the gym isn't that long, stick at it for 2 months for more dramatic effect. I don't even jog, I don't even calorie count the food I eat. I eat the same thing I have been eating for the past year.

I have been walking on an incline at the treadmill until that calorie counter reaches a minimum of 750 to 1000, everyday, it takes about 100mins to 1hr 45 depending if i take a 5min break for 1000 cal. There is my daily calorie deficit. I don't run, running is an impact exercise and I want to avoid that. I watched this dude yesterday on the treadmill next to me, one minute he would jog, he would do it for 2 mins and then he would walk for 3. I watched his calorie counter....it was moving at a slower pace than me walking on an incline and he looked like he was dying because of the jogging. I find walking to be a more sustainable pace and therefore I can go on for much longer and as a result, burn more calories. The dude was done after 20mins, he looked dead.

3500cal = 1lb of fat. The maths works out. The days when i do 750 cal is when i do some weights.

I was at 82kg 8 weeks ago, started with 3 days a week at the gym, but I ramped it up the middle of January.

Good going there, on the flipside I'm on a mission of gaining weight, but it is only possible as muscle mass rather than fat as my fast metabolism means I am unable to gain much weight as body fat regardless of what I eat, just always been that way! During Covid I worked my macros out, my maintenance calories was 2700, obviously more to then have enough nutrition to feed muscle growth, but it's a slow process because of the fast metabolic rate.

So for me whilst I got a lot stronger, my physical weight was only slowly increasing. At the start of Covid I was around 55KG, now at 62KG, all of that increase is lean muscle mass, my waist size has been the same for 20 years!

It's both great and annoying, I have an aesthetic goal I want to achieve but because of biology I have to stretch it out over an extended period of time, even though physically I am much stronger each month, just don't look it to the same level lol.

 

[malachi]

You can absolutely reverse the damage, your body is amazing at recovering and healing.

Depends on the damage, something like type 2 diabetes cant really be reversed.

As with my older brothers case, diagnosed with type 2 diabetes then he went vegan, cleaned up his diet. Dropped his weight and everything.

He was fine until his 50's and whatever happened he was rushed to hospital. Now hes on tablets for the rest of his life because of the bad diet leading upto his diabetes diagnosis. Yet he cleaned up his diet and went vegan for over 10 years. Thinking he had over come diabetes.

Then there is my cousins wife who now has impacted damage from all the running she did in her 20's and early 30's. Now she only does long walks due to warnings from the doctors.

 

[Decoman]

For the record, I never jog for long, max 3km which is 15-20 min or so I forgot, which seems to be enough for me. I also have in mind, this idea that jogging too much/too far might be bad in the long run (no pun intended..).
Edit: Plan for the future as I get older is to switch to using the treadmill for simply walking at a brisk pace.

It is wonderful that my jogging shoes, for my indoor treadmill, still is mostly ok after all these years.
Sadly I don't use the treadmill most of the year, only when I commit to loosing weight, which doesn't happen often.
Biggest hurdle for me is how boring it is to be dieting and doing exercices for a period of time. Never more than 2-3 months.

Ah I forgot, I also learned that starvation is not a good idea and also hazardous in the long run. Thinking of girls in the news that reportedly ate too little food and died of a weak heart and at a young age.
Btw, when I was a teenager, there this guy who died in our gym class, everyone jogging and he and one or two others lingered at the back. Rumor later was it was some kind of hidden heart disease/defect he had.

 

[413x]

I imagine there is a decent number of OCUKers who fall into this bracket.
I'm in my early 40s, about to tip into mid-40s. What sort of mid-life crisis did you have, and how did you deal with it?

I was once all about socialising, travelling, adventure. Now my favourite place is my shed, I'm considering buying a an enormous 'dooer-upper' house, I'm looking at shares in a private aeroplane, and I feel it is essential I start metal detecting. I think I'm giving my wife the ick.

I'm late to life. I've hit 40 and I'm now into socialising (outdoors), travelling and adventure.
And the last thing I want is a house that requires work.

Basically I'm thinking "time is short" especially healthy time. I can do stuff with.

I don't want to die with a big bank account. Especially as I don't have our want kids.

I'm even questioning if the normal "own a house, pay off mortgage" is right for me.

Really, I don't want to live anywhere more than a 3 years. And this makes owning a house not the best idea.


Very much struggling to find a path that's rewarding.

 

[Epburpee]

My biggest problem though is vaping, I'm a slave to it and failed to quit many times now, any tips welcome from people that have gone through it. Appreciate the comments of chemicals etc from those that haven't, but its hard to take them on board

The thing that worked for me to quit smoking cigarettes was a pill from my GP to help rid me of the addictive nicotine, and giving me some time to find other things to do. I seem to recall I had to persuade them to give it to me, and they wanted me to try other stuff first, but I'd had enough of all that. It can have side effects, so it needs to be used with advice from the GP, smoking nurse, etc.

After a couple of weeks, you won't be able to do it physically anymore, even though there's still the inertia of habit and anticipation. I tried a few times, but after about two weeks, it didn't scratch the itch, and I felt sick when I tried.

During the 12-week course, I made sure I cleaned out my flat of all paraphernalia. I went in for a few appointments, too, to check progress during those 12 weeks.
Environment and other people are crucial factors, so for me, that meant not going out to pubs to drink and play poker, and I found something else to do instead. I started to drink on my own during this time, so that was its own thing that I eventually sorted out without it getting out of hand.

Work was a weak point because people went out for smoke breaks, which were a way to socialise. It was a high-pressure job, with lots of staff darting around doing various things. But after the 12 weeks, it wasn't the same anymore. It was like being back at the beginning of the process when I smoked around mates at school and didn't even enjoy it. And I started to notice the smell, which bothered me especially when it was on my clothes.
So my success at quitting began with those 12 weeks of chemical assistance/aversion therapy, and finding other things to do both out socially and also when I am bored on my own.

The alcohol wasn’t good because I was replacing one bad thing with another, but I got more into fitness. I had always been into running, so for me it was not hard to build on that. There was such a dissonance between these two activities, and I couldn't ignore it. In fact, I remember when I decided to ring to get the Champix, I was sitting on the rowing machine at the gym with headphones on, and I could hear all this muck rattling in my chest, which had started with a simple cold well over a month ago.

12 weeks was the longest I had ever gone, and I was invested by that point to keep going. There came a point when the positives outweighed the negatives, and even though I still had rogue urges, it was something I could easily ignore because I felt good about quitting and saw myself as a non smoker.

I tried a Marlboro about a year later when I was drunk, and it boggled me how I'd been doing that for ten years.
A long reply, but that's what worked for me.
Best of luck.

 

[Relentless81]

Thanks for the reply

Sounds like Champix or similar, I've asked about it but they said no and gave me patches instead. Now they don't even provide patches.

I think it's mostly work and high stress things in my life that's not helping, that and when I quit last time the pounds went on almost immediately and I cannot gain weight due to another health issue so it's like a double edge sword

 

[malachi]

I'm late to life. I've hit 40 and I'm now into socialising (outdoors), travelling and adventure.
And the last thing I want is a house that requires work.

Basically I'm thinking "time is short" especially healthy time. I can do stuff with.

I don't want to die with a big bank account. Especially as I don't have our want kids.

I'm even questioning if the normal "own a house, pay off mortgage" is right for me.

Really, I don't want to live anywhere more than a 3 years. And this makes owning a house not the best idea.


Very much struggling to find a path that's rewarding.

I had enough in my early to mid 30's, was in a job for 10 years, already purchased a house in my early late 20's. But packed my packs and left the UK.

Its been 7 years since I did, UK house is paid off about 3 years ago, I just moved into another place last month. Never looked back.

You be surprised how your mindset changes with purpose when you move locations.

 

[Epburpee]

Thanks for the reply

Sounds like Champix or similar, I've asked about it but they said no and gave me patches instead. Now they don't even provide patches.

I think it's mostly work and high stress things in my life that's not helping, that and when I quit last time the pounds went on almost immediately and I cannot gain weight due to another health issue so it's like a double edge sword

That's nuts they don't even provide patches anymore. That's a different scenario, really tricky if there's another health issue at play. If try to quit again hope you can get some appropriate help.

 

[Raymond Lin]

Good going there, on the flipside I'm on a mission of gaining weight, but it is only possible as muscle mass rather than fat as my fast metabolism means I am unable to gain much weight as body fat regardless of what I eat, just always been that way! During Covid I worked my macros out, my maintenance calories was 2700, obviously more to then have enough nutrition to feed muscle growth, but it's a slow process because of the fast metabolic rate.

So for me whilst I got a lot stronger, my physical weight was only slowly increasing. At the start of Covid I was around 55KG, now at 62KG, all of that increase is lean muscle mass, my waist size has been the same for 20 years!

It's both great and annoying, I have an aesthetic goal I want to achieve but because of biology I have to stretch it out over an extended period of time, even though physically I am much stronger each month, just don't look it to the same level lol.

Thanks, it's working for me. You can do it too!

I have a whole wardrobe of clothes that I bought when I was 72kg, at one point I got into a 29" pair of jeans..only for. a very short while but had to gave it to my mate when I gained weight. So I can't wait when I hit 70kg and then I will basically have like a new wardrobe to wear again. Talking about mid life crisis, I have this really nice DKNY leather jacket that I want to get into again.

 

[mid_gen]

I'm late to life. I've hit 40 and I'm now into socialising (outdoors), travelling and adventure.
And the last thing I want is a house that requires work.

Basically I'm thinking "time is short" especially healthy time. I can do stuff with.

I don't want to die with a big bank account. Especially as I don't have our want kids.

I'm even questioning if the normal "own a house, pay off mortgage" is right for me.

Really, I don't want to live anywhere more than a 3 years. And this makes owning a house not the best idea.


Very much struggling to find a path that's rewarding.

Mortgages are simply the best financial product for retirement. You borrow relatively cheaply, and when you pay it off you have an asset you can either live in or sell.

There are certainly ways to plan for retirement without a mortgage…..but none of them are likely to work out as well.

I don’t particularly want to put down roots anywhere (have lived all over the world). But one of my main motivators moving back to the Uk when I was 39 was to just get the house bought. I can move abroad again whenever I want and just have someone else pay the mortgage….and I still have the asset for later in life.