Most Hated Footie Clichés

[tang0]

"They showed a lot of character"

 

[Tunney]

"He's not that kind of player."

Then why did he just break someone's leg?

 

[ScarySquirrel]

I don't know if I hate it or not, but it always makes me laugh.

"Cross come shot"

Snigger.

 

[fez]

I just hate all the obvious comments that they make.

"They are going to want to score soon"

"They need to attack if they have any hope of scoring"

"The keeper won't be happy with himself after letting that one in"

Football commentary has got to be one of the simplest jobs in the world. Pop a few random facts about players into your spiel and just state the obvious.

 

[utajoker]

"hes got an eye for goal"

should do, hes a striker after all.

not hated but my favorite one is:

"take a bow son, take a bow"

 

[Nossmayo]

A similar thread was posted a while back on a WH forum.

Here's a selection.

I hate it when they say things like "Blackpool haven`t beaten Liverpool in the league in more than 40 years" conveniently forgetting to mention that Blackpool and Liverpool haven`t been in the same league for 39 years.​

Harry Redknapp - A wheeler dealer​

"There are no easy Internationals."​

"Keepers are always at their best in their late 30s"​

"They were saved by the woodwork" No they weren't. The woodwork (metalwork these days) doesn't cover any part of the goal.​

'great feet for a big man'​

Foreign players, no matter where they come from, will definately not relish a wet/windy/cold Tuesday night league cup tie to a lower league club somewhere up north.​

All left footed players (Brady, Rix, Wilshere) have a lovely left foot. Doesnt apply to right footed players.
​

"If that was a yard to the left, its a goal"​

"Shades of '66" - every time England play in red​

Referring to every penalty shoot-out as a "lottery" - it's NOT a lottery, it's a penalty shoot-out.​

"the next goal is crucial"​

Why are big deflections only ever described as "wicked"?​

"2-0 is a difficult score line"​

 

[K1LLSW1TCH]

"He's a decent shot stopper"

Well done captain obvious, if he couldn't stop shots he probably wouldn't be a professional GK.

 

[fez]

I just get the rage when you listen to commentators and wonder what game they are watching. They can't see to tell distances, a yard ranges from 30cm to 2-3 metres. Watching replays they still seem entirely incapable of telling what happened.

The classic "If that was a yard to the left" statement gets my goat as well. Its like when someone gets shot in a film and is told, "3 inches to the right and it would have killed you" yeah, and 3 inches to the left and it would have missed me. Pointless.

 

[Nate75]

For me when say Man U, Arsenal, England or whichever big team draw a minnow and the coach, player or pundit says "there are no easy games and we will not be taking them lightly"

When really they should be saying "we are over the moon with the draw and will muller them"

 

[Andybtsn]

"Form is temporary, class is permanent."

This.

Someone WILL say it when Torres next scores no doubt. Someone usually says it when Rooney scores also..

 

[stoke1863]

deffo when talking about crouch

" For a big lad hes good with the ball at his feet"

 

[Mucky_Pup]

Wenger: "I didn't see..."

Ferguson: "I didn't see..."

 

[tbh]

I find commentators using "literally" in the wrong way annoying, he literally just took off his leg for example. Think that might have been Jamie Redknapp.

It can be humourous as well though, such as when a commentator quipped "Don't write off Costa Rica, they can come out and literally set the crowd on fire".

 

[Mean Mr Mustard]

One that always used to annoy me when said of any club with a reasonably smart 20,000+ capacity stadium.

'They deserve to be in the Premier League with this set-up.'

Irrespective of the fact that said team was made up of 11 donkeys and languishing near the foot (there's another one there) of division 3.

Edit: And anything John Motson says, particularly whenever he creams his gusset with excitement when so much happens as the ball going out for a throw-in on half-way.

 

[markk]

Anyone that mentions 'park' grrrrrrr I hate that so much, to me if it's a park where is the slide and swings?, oh and also 'character'

 

[drunkenmaster]

"hes got an eye for goal"

should do, hes a striker after all.

not hated but my favorite one is:

"take a bow son, take a bow"

Since Andy Gray got fired the take a bow son, has gone, maybe for good. Did anyone else ever say it?

Generally the most irritating things are as others have said, obvious crap.

"the next goal will be important"

"if they score another they could well win this"

But for me, the number one most irritating thing now is, they're on 93 minutes and a couple seconds, with 4/5 minutes extra time added.....
"only time for one more attack" or "this will probably be the last attack in the game"....

almost every single time followed by 2 attacks each end of the field, sometimes more. 10 seconds to go, waiting for one team to knock a long ball into the box, ok, with a minute to go theres plenty of time left, its said in almost every single game and has been wrong 99.9999999999% of the time.

 

[Jaap74]

players saying that they "dug in" .....

 

[Bubo]

"He must have a foot like a traction engine"

 

[Gilly]

'...and it's in the back of the net'

Whether it's in the back of the net or not. Gayest gayer ever, he doesn't even know what he's on about, lawro is better - and that's saying something!