My partner admitted being in debt yesterday

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Rage85

Rage85

Rage85

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We have been together for almost 8 years and my partner admitted to being in 6k debt (we aren't married)

It's ****** me off, more so the fact she hasn't been honest with me more than anything.

Anyone else had similar? Am I overreacting?
 
Probably over-reacting, debt can be an embarassing thing to accept, people in debt get in more debt as time goes on.
Are your wages completly seperate? (no joint account you both pay into, then pay the bills from that?)
 
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It’s relative, can she pay it off? Is 6k a lot? If it’s a loan for a car or something, not a big deal, or are we talking 6k on credit cards unable to pay it.

At least she told you about it. I’m pretty laid back so it wouldn’t annoy me as such, but again it’s all relative. If she recently went on a crazy spending spree and you are saving together etc, then it’s different.
 
I hope the boob job was worth the £6k?

Seriously, though, I guess this depends on whether you live together and are tied together financially. If you are then she should have told you. But if you are not financially tied then I guess it's up to her.
 
As long as it's not your money, no bother. It's not a large amount in the great scheme of things.

Maybe help her with a payment plan to sort it out.
 
Good on her for admitting it. Poor effort on your part thinking you’re the victim here. She’s probably been stressed, worried, anxious, etc about this and all you’re concerned about is yourself.

Why not support her through what could be quite an anxious time and see how you can help address this.

An ex of mine had a few payday loans as she wanted to keep up with me (dinners out, lots of drinking). Once I found out, we dealt with it by staying in more, cutting back on some things and got her debts paid back. Found the underlying issue, discussed it and dealt with it. Never thought less of her for it. Why did your partner run these debts up?
 
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You're overreacting.

Be a grown up, sit down and talk it out, rationally. The hows, whys and resolution. Conclude on whether it affects your relationship.
 
Rannoch said:
What has she spent 6k on? Was it spent over 8 years?
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Pretty much and before we got together, she hasn't had parents to help her out with things either, it's just a accumulation of things things down the years I believe, it hasn't been spent on partying etc, but went to center parcs in the summer with the kids, if i knew she was in debt i would have suggested a much cheaper holiday.

If she told me from the start I could have helped more with it.
 
More info definitely required. 6k isn't a great deal if it's for a car, house improvements etc, but obviously, nobody can possibly comment without more details.
 
Yaayuh! said:
You're overreacting.

Be a grown up, sit down and talk it out, rationally. The hows, whys and resolution. Conclude on whether it affects your relationship.
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He didn't say he was going to leave her or anything!

I think it's perfectly valid to be honest, and you would hope it wasn't out of any joint account.

Money is probably the only thing me and my wife argue about. She's always in minor debt (less than 1k) because she spends too much on clothes and shoes. Occasionally she volunteers to give me all her credit cards for a while, gets back on track, then she needs them for something genuine, and then suddenly packages start turning up again.

Edit - Not knowing she couldn't afford centreparcs is weird to me.

I know exactly what my wife earns, and vice versa. We both know what we can and can't afford.
 
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Slam62 said:
6k is nothing
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To some it isn't. The more concerning thing is that they've been together for 8 years, kids involved and she was in debt before they got together.

If she's paying silly interest on it and both of them don't earn a lot, it could take a while to pay that off even with consolidation. Considering the current cost of living crisis, that could have a major impact on their lifestyle for the next few years.
 
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