It's a lot to some and with interest rates combined with minimum payment could take an age to clear.
My partner admitted being in debt yesterday
- Thread starter Rage85
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Caporegime
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Is she telling you now because inflation has made her debt payments a lot bigger?
The is dishonesty may well be because of the anger.
Stuff for her or the kids?
Calm down, you're lucky she's opened up and shared it with you. Some partners don't find out until it's too late.
There's no point staying angry, it doesn't help you, it'll make her feel worse than she already does and will probably stop her sharing anything else in the future.
Now you can either choose to calmly help her out and get through it together as a couple. Or not.
For real though, absolutely don't do this. As in, don't just wipe the debt and pretend it's all okay.
Tbh there are some positives, curb your anger for a while and sit down with her. Trust me it's the best thing you can do.
The first thing you need to find out is why it was hidden, and make sure if you plan to stay together why she hid it and understand that. Try not to be angry, debt can make people embarrassed and feel shame.
Secondly try and help her with anything in the future if your able to. It might be all she's needed all along.
Be thankful that she's finally told you, it shows she feels like she can actually confide and tell you.
By all means it's not nice to hide anything from your partner but she must have did it for a reason. Did you know about her ordering from these places and she said sh was going to pay it off. Work as a team, you'll reap the benefits in the end.
The first thing you need to find out is why it was hidden, and make sure if you plan to stay together why she hid it and understand that. Try not to be angry, debt can make people embarrassed and feel shame.
Secondly try and help her with anything in the future if your able to. It might be all she's needed all along.
Be thankful that she's finally told you, it shows she feels like she can actually confide and tell you.
By all means it's not nice to hide anything from your partner but she must have did it for a reason. Did you know about her ordering from these places and she said sh was going to pay it off. Work as a team, you'll reap the benefits in the end.
Soldato
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The 6K balance is only one part of the info - for some it's nothing but for others it could feel totally out of control. The main question here is can she afford the monthly payments and secondly, is any of the capital part of the debt being paid off or is it just the interest being paid each month?
Agree with some of the others - the main thing here is to work together to clear it down and then ensure it doesn't happen again and she stays away from the store/PayPal credit/credit cards in the future.
Agree with some of the others - the main thing here is to work together to clear it down and then ensure it doesn't happen again and she stays away from the store/PayPal credit/credit cards in the future.
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If he knew the wage and didn't know she was paying £200 a month in interest or something then you'd probably assume the cost of the holiday wasn't too much relative not knowing otherwise. You can only know the affordability issue if you know all the outgoings relative to the income right?
help her get rid of it and that's it. No biggie, people are ashamed of debt but majority have got some or a lot, it's the way things are these days. Help her find a way to manage her money better and pay it off.
she clearly didn't want you to know, for obvious reasons.. your reaction.
she clearly didn't want you to know, for obvious reasons.. your reaction.
Discuss the problem so can you both address if she has a budgeting problem and if she does, how to work on fixing it. Then figure out the road to clearing the debt. After that, you need to discuss whether you have communication issues within your relationship.
Failing that, **** through her letterbox and buy yourself a Gucci belt on finance to cheer yourself up.
Failing that, **** through her letterbox and buy yourself a Gucci belt on finance to cheer yourself up.
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Soldato
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Points to a long term issue, like not living within means or getting taken in by credit 'deals'. See if you can get to the bottom of that and overcome it.
Personally, I'd struggle to be with someone who's bad with money, because I'd never be able to trust them. Finding out 8 years later that they're bad with money but also weren't honest about it would be a huge problem. So I don't think you're overreacting at all.
Personally, I'd struggle to be with someone who's bad with money, because I'd never be able to trust them. Finding out 8 years later that they're bad with money but also weren't honest about it would be a huge problem. So I don't think you're overreacting at all.
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So you hug her and say, "Let's discuss how we deal with it."
This
I have a mate who works very hard whilst his wife stays at home. She's run up £17k of CC debt buying herself Jewellery and fancy clothes for their child. He didn't realise until he found a house to buy and couldn't because of her debt (that she was behind with)
Thats kinda when you get p****d.
£6k isn't that much if its being serviced. But after 8years together. I'd be treating that as OUR debt.
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