My partner admitted being in debt yesterday

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Ayahuasca said:
For real though, absolutely don't do this. As in, don't just wipe the debt and pretend it's all okay.
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Are you in a long term relationship? We would treat everything shared now. You wanna walk away from 8 years because of a few thousand quid?
This is nothing. She is hiding it because shes embarrassed to hell.
Help her, if you love her. (not you but "you" :P)
Seems weird to me to make a meal of it.
 
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Efour said:
Are you in a long term relationship? We would treat everything shared now. You wanna walk away from 8 years because of a few thousand quid?
This is nothing. She is hiding it because shes embarrassed to hell.
Help her, you love her.
Seems weird to me to make a meal of it.
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You're arguing a different point. I'm not saying OP should walk away and not help her. However, clearing her debt for her and pretending it's all good isn't the way.

We don't even know if OP is in a position to "pay it off for her".
 
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Ayahuasca said:
You're arguing a different point. I'm not saying OP should walk away and not help her. However, clearing her debt for her and pretending it's all good isn't the way.

We don't even know if OP is in a position to "pay it off for her".
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Helping doesn't necessarily mean paying it off for them.
 
I think a lot depends on the circumstances.

People saying it isn't much. It might be. 6k is for someone living hand to mouth can be significant.

Its more a concern that is is an issue for Both/you and it hasn't been talked about before.
 
Let's say you're getting a house. You've gotten some way down the line.

Oh I have 6k of Debt.
Might change a lot.

Let's say OP and gf have 200 pounds left at end of month.
Its a lot.

Let's say it was accured on a night at a casino.
Its a worry.


There are loads of times this could be a huge issue. And as many have said loads of times it isn't.


But I do think to not be talking about it is the issue.
If she's scared to say it, and you're shocked by it. That's the issue. It means there is a misunderstanding at best. Or serious. Communication issues. Or at worst.. Deception / money issues.


Without more context from OP it's impossible to form a proper opinion of it.
 
Ayahuasca said:
You're arguing a different point. I'm not saying OP should walk away and not help her. However, clearing her debt for her and pretending it's all good isn't the way.

We don't even know if OP is in a position to "pay it off for her".
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Its a way :p
This is all very hypothetical. We can handle things different ways. i choose this one. i love my partner and id make the money a non issue for her.
Clear the bill/start payback scheme then work out why she did it (probably boredom unemployment/over analysis of forum posts)
all this Without becoming debt, relationship and mental health counsellors.
Then cuddle up on the corner sofa and get her to whip me with a Gucci belt.
 
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Rage1999 said:
We have been together for almost 8 years and my partner admitted to being in 6k debt (we aren't married)

It's ****** me off, more so the fact she hasn't been honest with me more than anything.

Anyone else had similar? Am I overreacting?
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I had a similar experience with an ex.

The debt was way worse than i was initially told, so watch out for that. Extra bits kept appearing.

I ended up paying it all off when we split up, as we had a kid and I'm too nice.
 
potatolord said:
I ended up paying it all off when we split up, as we had a kid and I'm too nice.
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