Never thought I’d be posting one of these threads…

Thanks for all the replies folks, some have made me chuckle, but others made me think, which is all I really wanted from this thread :)

Night all.
 
If you feel that you have a connection with the woman then why dont you both discuss your options ?

Tell her to leave her partner and go with you ?
 
I'd play it cool and not make any more advances until she's properly available. You would hate to be in her current partner's shoes.
 
If you are serious about making a go on the relationship then you need to be frank that there is a point when she has to make a decision. The not knowing would ruin the relationship eventually.
 
Dont mess it up, but dont go too far but harass her a bit ask for an ultimatum. Just be 100% honest put all your cards on the table and tell her shes got a week to something about it.

Ignore the once a cheater always a cheater crap, balls in her court tbh.

cliché cliché extreme
 
You need to insert your rapesnake into her whore hole.

In reality, I think you should go with the flow, at least get the sex, but be prepared mentally for it to peter out into a fling. At least then you are ready and wont be too disappointed. Stay disconnected emotionally though.
 
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Have to agree, you have to tell her that a. You do want to see her and be with her and smash her pasty if you haven't yet but you're not happy that you're her 'bit on the side'. You have to set a clear boundary, maybe even a date that she has to make a decision.
 
Tell her to break it off, take some time apart and if she wants to make a go of it to go for it. Went through something very similar and it ended very badly, and my lesson learned is that girls fresh out of relationships (serious or not) don't know what the want, and are best left alone until they figure out what they want.

Getting emotionally involved with someone who's not 100% committed to you is setting yourself up for a lot of pain and anguish. If she really liked you, wouldn't she ditch this other guy and make it clear that you're all she needs?
 
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First of all you buggered up by getting involved with someone else's girlfriend. Secondly I'm inclined to agree with the once a cheater always a cheater idea, no matter how much you might believe otherwise about her. If you must persevere with her give her an ultimatum to drop the other guy immediately. Any hesitation and get rid of her as fast as you can.
 
Cutting the junk out and felt this needed to be pointed out;

Scort said:
Anyway, long story short, I ended the night kissing her (just a peck goodbye) and saying I was looking forward to seeing her again, but…… I found out during the night (****ed up by that time – so it didn’t really register) that she was seeing someone already
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Scort said:
This comment hit me quite hard a few days later and I got really down.
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So, you've never spoken to her before and go out for one night and talk to said girl. Then at the end of the evening you've become attached enough to get all emotional when you find out she has someone.
I can only imagine the problems you may face in the future if things don't go well.


- You shouldn't "date" her or be "intimate" until she has called off her old relationship. Do not force her into it and don't promise her the world.
Speeding up this process may backfire in your future relationship with her, if you get into a sticky situation she will inevitably bring it up. "You begged me to leave him, you said it would be better" etc etc, insert any random relationship argument.

- Realise she may cheat on one bloke to be with you and may just be the stepping stone to the next, but fully understand that you might be the last.

If you have a choice, tell her you are extremely interested (not in these exact words of course) but you can't take things further until she's left her partner, that you don't want to make things difficult for him either.
Sympathy for both sides should show you care and are willing to wait.

Obviously don't go out and say "I'm not going to be with you unless you leave him!" that sounds harsh, just let it be known that you wouldn't want it to happen to you, you can wait and it's not an ultimatum, just how you'd rather it go. If she's really interested, she will leave him. As sucky as it sound but this is how relationships work, if things don't click, people break up in the end.

But for the love of everything that is sane, do not give her any future tool/reason to use this against you, it will be messy. Don't be the guy that ended her relationship and moved onto another failed one, make it as much her choice as it is yours. You'll be thankful if things do go wrong. Yes, I'm cynical and always try to be ready for these things by planning :|
 
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It doesn't really sound like you're going to be breaking them up at all... And it barely even sounds like they're together! Don't worry about it man :)
 
Here's a past experience I've had years ago, heavily summarised as I need to get to work. No hot females there sadly :(

- Meets a wicked girl who owns her own restaurant. Finnish, of all creatures. Greek restaurant. Go figure. Used to frequent it everyday due to working in the area for three months.

- Texting and flirting ensue. Long long sessions on MSN. Yours truly turns conversation flirty and slightly sexual. *bows*. Next day she's smiling and eating me up with her eyes.

- Our contract finish, I move on elsewhere. Chatting and texting continues. She rings me up instead one day and ask to meet up in her restaurant after closing time. I did offer to do some painting work for her, I assume it was that. It wasn't. Things, behind the counter area, gets taking to a complete new level.

- I start liking her. Some what. She tells me she has a boyfriend, going steady for 9 years. Oh, ok. But she wants to leave him. (sure you do sweety).

- I detach myself emotionally, she starts running after me, wanting to meet almost every day. I kept 'meating' her for weeks and weeks but guilt gets to me after meeting the guy. Really nice fella. I did actually paint the place for her and he came in to help.

- I leave on a work assignment that would only bring me back home every weekend. I 'meet' her one last time, massively and proper, before dropping an ultimatum. Me or him.

- Never heard from her again.

Sound vaguely familiar?

I was being played. Have your fun and make an ultimatum. Anyway, the liberals can now descend upon me, I'm off :D
 
hmm

I think you need to tell her to man the hell up.

If she wants a relationship with you to go anywhere decent she needs to run back home and dump the other guy and spend a few stressful weeks sorting her old life out.
 
SuperBOB said:
I think you need to tell her to man the hell up.

If she wants a relationship with you to go anywhere decent she needs to run back home and dump the other guy and spend a few stressful weeks sorting her old life out.
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Probably not the best to tell her to man up... unless your into that sort of thing I guess.

Edit. Why the hell did the other guy let ehr out of the kitchen, his mistake, go for it man.
 
she would probably still be in a happy relationship with her current partner if it wasnt for you talking to her at the work do.

she probably just thinks shes found someone better ,i would be very suspicious of what might happen if you get with her and then she decides someone else is better than you.

if you do choose to get involved then thats your busisness but just be very careful and dont get to emotionally attached incase it really ends up just beeing a bit of fun for her
 
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