Not another relationship thread. What to do ?

waveydave79

waveydave79

waveydave79

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In need of some help, I dont like to post on here about these sort of things, but I feel am going out of my mind and right now dont have many people I can turn to.

2 months ago I reunited with my G/f, 1 month everything was fine, she stayed over all the time, despite us saying we would go slowly she'd practically moved in. We spend all day together, watch movies, go for nice walked, all that nice sizzle. Everything is absolutly golden.

My G/f has one very big problem. She has an phobea of being sick, and 3 weeks ago came down with a very nasty cold. So bad she had to return home, she gets very nasty and confrontational when unwell, doesnt want anyone around her, wont even allow me to briefly visit, I had to leave her some flowers in her porch - she didnt even come to the door! and I cant help but feeling very hurt by this.

This has now turned into a bit of a nightmare, I thought a cold would shift and she would be back, I am a very sensitive person, and so naturally I have been saying I want things to return to normal, now she is saying that this is making her feel pressured.

Also in addition, when we got back together she asked me not to see any or goto places related to my past, It seems that I have lost all control, she talks to me on her terms, and I am finding this scary.

I want us to work out, and dont want to end the relationship. But serously feel like I m going out of my mind, do i just give her the space, hoping she will come around. This is the 3rd time we have broken up and got back together and we agreed that this time would be the last time with no more breakups.

Looking for some sensible advise please
 
3 breakups is a lot!

You've done sort of what iv done (I'm paying the price for it too) where you end up spending time together where its a big block, so being apart is weird, but after a while being together that much is grating and stupid, so there's no mid point of normal relationship.

My advice just do what ever you want, if its going to work out you'll both come to an understanding. If it doesn't you'll both grow and see what you want/need from a relationship.

Also its REALLY unhealthy to have one side telling the other what they can and cannot do. If nothing else you both should be happy to have your own lives regardless of the other person.


Oh and non serious answers, poo in her letter box or send her a picture of your wang.
 
Haha, well come to the wrong place for sensible suggestions....


However, may i offer this (and i currently find myself in a simuliar situation so generally read these threads with interest) - stop flogging that dead horse.... 3rd time isnt always the charm! Sounds like you have given given it a very good go, maybe its just not meant to be?
 
What's the point of keeping things going?

She's going to do this everytime she's ill, which will make you feel the same each time, abandon ship and find someone else imho.
 
Drop it like it's hot. If you've broken up twice before, yo did so for a reason, and that reason hasn't changed. Imagine how much happier you would be with someone who didn't treat you like dirt.
 
She sounds retarded and a general nightmare. "...when we got back together she asked me not to see any or goto places related to my past...". Sounds very Sex And The City...

Get out whilst you still have a shred of your sanity left.
 
Neither of you sound happy and you've already broken up 3 times!

End it, now. Chalk it down to experience or something! Just run for dem hills!
 
waveydave79 said:
Also in addition, when we got back together she asked me not to see any or goto places related to my past, Looking for some sensible advise please
Click to expand...

Can you clarify that?
Does she not let you speak to your friends or family?

All i can say is she must suck a mean one to get any guy to agree to that. A keeper if ever there were one.
 
This sounds a lot like what I went through.

It was a nightmare, I'm not a passive guy at all unless it comes to relationships, I find it makes things easier by cooperating and working on things, but with women like this it's actually eventually detrimental to the relationship.

I remember spending a lot of time feeling like **** by the way she would talk to me, she wouldnt take me places, and wouldn't come to my family do's. She was short tempered, and it would aggravate me to boiling point, result in also 3 break ups.

I always took her back when she begged, and cried as I was weak obviously and in love to a degree. Untill one day she decided that she didn't want to be part of the relationship anymore (i think she'd found someone else) and she also said I was the man she fell in love with. Probably because back then I stood up for myself was happy and confident. She turned me into a shell of that man.

I had dumped her 3 times, but this time upset me a lot because it was on her terms now, and not mine. She was selfish, took advantage of me, and frankly wasn't worth the 3 years.
It wasn't all of that, that annoyed me though, it was the feeling that I had let myself down. I could have easily have stuck to my guns the first time, left and met someone new and nice and been happy a year down the line, instead of miserable and feeling like 3 years of my life had all been a waste of time.

Don't stay with this girl, is the only advice I will give. Any other would be wste of time, because she sounds just as selfish and bad tempered as my ex. It will only lead to you feeling like **** for a few weeks if you end it, rather than months of torment down the line, kicking yourself for not doing it sooner.
 
Personally I'd get rid. Her behaving like that, and giving you ultimatums won't work. She doesnt sounds like the type to back down either. An will likely break things off again if you try to get some breathing space.

I've been there, and done that once, she was a poisonous, controlling little **** that for some reason I couldn't break it off with. Result? Near mental breakdown because for some god forsaken reason I couldn't let go.

Do honestly want to spend the rest of your days treading on eggshells second guessing yourself at every turn? If she can't compromise on things with you as well it isn't a relationship sir.

What's the reason for you not going back to places in your past? Is that referring to specific ties to an ex?

Hate to say it mate but if you are a sensitive lad, sounds like she's spotted that and taken you to the emotional cleaners...and what's worse you're going to find it hard to escape, but when you finally get over what is probably a general fear of not finding anyone else (again, been there) you'll realise it's the best decision you ever made.
 
sounds like she has some issues there - but its up to her to want to change and fix it. if she doesn't see this and only wants to change you to fit around her then its time to run because it will only get worse.
 
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