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Freefaller · 30 Mar 2026 at 09:12

dirtychinchilla said:
That's lovely. At some point, my parents stopped just getting me things and instead just got me what I asked for, assuming it was within budget. I must admit, birthdays lost some of their magic at that point

I haven't celebrated my birthday in 25+ years. It doesn't mean anything to me.

I do love celebrating other people's birthdays though.

I know what I want to get for my kids it's usually a STEM based gift or something that keeps them active and outside (joys of countryside living. )

Having had 2 kids as geriatric parents (i.e. over 35.) does make more important to put the effort in to keep up with them. Hence my obsession with health and fitness.

I could easily sit down and read a book or listen to music rather than play in the garden with them. But I force myself to be active with them, get muddy with them and get them involved in the gardening or going for walks. I'm constantly tired and in pain (stupid martial arts :cry:

) but it reflects in their behaviours and attitudes and resilience.

It's hard work though I do wish we had been in the position to have children earlier but life worked out the way it did and we're all healthy and well and I feel blessed.

tom_e · 31 Mar 2026 at 08:08

Little one turned three last Thursday and has found a new talent for escaping her cot. It was about time we took the side off anyway but it was quite a surprise to hear her toddling across the landing two minutes after being put to bed. She also looked completely confused as to how she'd ended up on the landing as well :cry:

Job for after work is fitting a stair gate to her room door so at least she can't get into too much trouble.

dirtychinchilla · 1 Apr 2026 at 15:05

Freefaller said:
I could easily sit down and read a book or listen to music rather than play in the garden with them. But I force myself to be active with them, get muddy with them and get them involved in the gardening or going for walks. I'm constantly tired and in pain (stupid martial arts ) but it reflects in their behaviours and attitudes and resilience.

It's hard work though I do wish we had been in the position to have children earlier but life worked out the way it did and we're all healthy and well and I feel blessed.

I find this really difficult. I find it really hard to engage with her when I get home and I feel terrible about it. I'm hoping that changes over time as she does things that I find more engaging - she's only 15 months

Freefaller · 1 Apr 2026 at 16:20

dirtychinchilla said:
I find this really difficult. I find it really hard to engage with her when I get home and I feel terrible about it. I'm hoping that changes over time as she does things that I find more engaging - she's only 15 months

I definitely got more engaged as time went on and as they got older. Do I wish I had done more? Always. But don't dwell on the past, you can do stuff now. Even if it's just 5-10 mins more than you do currently it'll add a huge amount of bonding.

tom_e · 4 Apr 2026 at 18:01

The pox have arrived, she doesn't seem in the least bit fussed by the spots at the minute even though some of them look pretty raw.

She was the same when she had hand foot and mouth, so fingers crossed it shouldn't be too bad.

trentlad · 4 Apr 2026 at 23:49

Freefaller said:
I haven't celebrated my birthday in 25+ years. It doesn't mean anything to me.

I do love celebrating other people's birthdays though.

I know what I want to get for my kids it's usually a STEM based gift or something that keeps them active and outside (joys of countryside living. )

Having had 2 kids as geriatric parents (i.e. over 35.) does make more important to put the effort in to keep up with them. Hence my obsession with health and fitness.

I could easily sit down and read a book or listen to music rather than play in the garden with them. But I force myself to be active with them, get muddy with them and get them involved in the gardening or going for walks. I'm constantly tired and in pain (stupid martial arts ) but it reflects in their behaviours and attitudes and resilience.

It's hard work though I do wish we had been in the position to have children earlier but life worked out the way it did and we're all healthy and well and I feel blessed.

Had been the same until a mate of mine explained how he employs an absolute opposite tactic.

He not only celebrates his Birthday, but spends an entire week celebrating. It did sound utterly preposterous to even consider such self inflating activities, buuuut I figure why not see what it’s all about.

Went to the cinema one night, negotiated a guilt free evening of gaming another, took the mountain bike to a trail that I’d always wanted to ride another evening, on my actual birthday had a lovely family meal with a cake baked by my wife, on the Friday met up with mates at the pub, took the kids and wife on a lovely hike another evening, and just picked an enjoyable event each night for a week and absolutely loved it.

Do this every year now. Wife is on board as she knows it’s hard to pull away from family duties and is happy to entertain this frill.

mcwildcard · 6 Apr 2026 at 11:44

tom_e said:
The pox have arrived, she doesn't seem in the least bit fussed by the spots at the minute even though some of them look pretty raw.

She was the same when she had hand foot and mouth, so fingers crossed it shouldn't be too bad.

Make sure you cut finger nails asap!

darreny · Sunday at 13:32

We got my 10y/o a phone ready for high school in September and it still makes me smile when I get a message that’s starts with dad

So blessed

Freefaller · Sunday at 14:09

darreny said:
We got my 10y/o a phone ready for high school in September and it still makes me smile when I get a message that’s starts with dad

So blessed

10 year old and high school? My soon to be 10 year old still has 2 years left of primary school.

Ours won't be getting a phone until absolutely necessary, and even then the most basic possible one and heavily guardrailed / monitored. No judgement from me, I just don't think they're healthy things to have as children, but I completely understand why kids have them, it's a trust thing, independence, and able to keep an eye on them too. I'm just vary wary of the online world and children, and no matter how much I educate them about it, bad things can always slip through. My biggest worry is bullying really.

darreny · Sunday at 14:21

Freefaller said:
10 year old and high school? My soon to be 10 year old still has 2 years left of primary school.

Ours won't be getting a phone until absolutely necessary, and even then the most basic possible one and heavily guardrailed / monitored. No judgement from me, I just don't think they're healthy things to have as children, but I completely understand why kids have them, it's a trust thing, independence, and able to keep an eye on them too. I'm just vary wary of the online world and children, and no matter how much I educate them about it, bad things can always slip through. My biggest worry is bullying really.

11 in July, she has to get the bus to the high school that’s the best in the area so she gets the bus home now from school to get her used to it. We can track where she is on the 360 app which is fantastic. TBH bullying can come from anything now, even from not having a phone. My wife is a teacher so I trust her expertise on these things

Freefaller · Sunday at 14:32

darreny said:
11 in July, she has to get the bus to the high school that’s the best in the area so she gets the bus home now from school to get her used to it. We can track where she is on the 360 app which is fantastic. TBH bullying can come from anything now, even from not having a phone. My wife is a teacher so I trust her expertise on these things

Oh I totally get it. I wasn't suggesting it was bad. You know your kids better than anyone else. I'm just trying to resist it as much as possible. My wife still uses hers too much (she scrolls social media). I hate talking to people when they're looking at their phone and I don't want my kids to become phone dependent.

I'm sure you're doing all the right things I guess I'm just trying to be sweetly naive/ignorant about the reality!

darreny · Sunday at 14:37

Freefaller said:
Oh I totally get it. I wasn't suggesting it was bad. You know your kids better than anyone else. I'm just trying to resist it as much as possible. My wife still uses hers too much (she scrolls social media). I hate talking to people when they're looking at their phone and I don't want my kids to become phone dependent.

I'm sure you're doing all the right things I guess I'm just trying to be sweetly naive/ignorant about the reality!

I totally get that, mines going to a school where the intake for year 11 is around 220. For context there’s 5 in my child’s year 10 and only 40 odd in the whole primary school so it’s going to be a massive change for her to say the least

Freefaller · Sunday at 14:55

darreny said:
I totally get that, mines going to a school where the intake for year 11 is around 220. For context there’s 5 in my child’s year 10 and only 40 odd in the whole primary school so it’s going to be a massive change for her to say the least

And it'll be nice for her to have you a phone call away in case she needs a bit of a virtual hug.