OcUK Dadsnet thread

Maccy said:
Ah we're in the sleep regression phase now - goes down generally ok in the evenings, but she's a bit disruptive after midnight and waking up every hour or so. It's just a phase, it's just a phase...
Click to expand...

It is just a phase. The question is how many weeks/months/years it lasts for :p
 
antijoke said:
Question for people who have split with partners who’s kids are older 18+

How did you deal with them getting to that age and them being adults and not coming around as regular anymore.

My youngest is turning 18 soon and naturally I know he’s growing up and will be an adult and I don’t want to mandate he comes round once/twice a week as he’s got his own life and whatnot now but don’t want to seem like I’m just dropping him and will obviously tell him he can come round whenever etc but I don’t want him to feel he has to come if he’s busy or doesn’t want to. My eldest is 21 nearly and back from uni now so he just does whatever anyway because he works full time so we see each other whenever and I’d like my youngest to have the same freedom, my main issue comes from his mum will (naturally) want the child maintenance until it’s not due anymore but i don’t want her using it as excuse to say well pay me more.

I’d speak to her but since we split (3 years nearly) she’s not been open to communication and is very offish about, any questions just get one word responses via text.

Ultimately i don’t want to come across to him as treating him like a kid anymore.
Click to expand...
I have recently gone through this exact thing.

Back in October once I knew my son (18) was settled at his parentship I contented his mum about stopping the private arrangement we had for child maintenance, that conversation it one of the worst things I have had to do! My eldest (20 in a few days) kicks off because I'm putting pressure on her and her brother.... Basically the mum kicked off and told them they will need to cover the equivalent to the CM agreement. She (daughter) now wants nothing to do with me (lives with mum).

I see my son regularly, when he is not busy with friends/girlfriend. We schedule for every other week and then play it by ear as to when each of us are busy. My youngest two boys (from my now Wife) keep begging to have big bro over to play Fortnite :D

Keep good contact dont ever let that drop off, even if its just a random message or stupid real/pic, talk and most of all do stuff together!
 
….another run up to the weekend, another ‘I’ve just been at nursery for 4 days, and going to spend the next 3 days recovering from this weeks bug’ joy :-)

We’re hitting the 6 month mark now with our youngest having started Nursery, took around 7/8 iirc for our eldest to get over all this and start handling it better. Fingers crossed we’re almost there…..
 
Last edited:
TommyV said:
….another run up to the weekend, another ‘I’ve just been at nursery for 4 days, and going to spend the next 3 days recovering from this weeks bug’ joy :-)

We’re hitting the 6 month mark now with our youngest having started Nursery, took around 7/8 iirc for our eldest to get over all this and start handling it better. Fingers crossed we’re almost there…..
Click to expand...
Welp this has resulted in A&E after getting a lot worse out of nowhere last night, currently in paediatrics and being given oxygen as levels were borderline.:-(
 
Minibiker said:
How is everything now bud?
Click to expand...
All good thanks now mate. She’s bounced back and you’d never even know she was in such a state.

Just to make the whole saga a bit more interesting, the day we were discharged (Tuesday) was the same day her mum and I were due to get married! Fortunately it all worked out, I was running on 90minutes of broken sleep and it’s reflected in the photos, but we got there none the less.
 
Last edited:
TommyV said:
All good thanks now mate. She’s bounced back and you’d never even know she was in such a state.

Just to make the whole saga a bit more interesting, the day we were discharged (Tuesday) was the same day we were due to get married! Fortunately it all worked out, I was running on 90minutes of broken sleep and it’s reflected in the photos, but we got there none the less.
Click to expand...

Did you say the right name…?
 
Daughter: Commerce at University of Sydney looking good.
Me: But that's ...
Daughter: 96 ATAR*, I'll be fine.
Me: ... in Australia.
Daughter: Yep!
Me: This sounds fabulous!

It's never boring, is it?

* a requirement, quite important
 
Offered a promotion at work but with my wife being a carer and on Universal Credit I'm actually thinking it's not worth it. They would instantly take 60% of it off us. Crap situation to be in.
 
robj20 said:
Offered a promotion at work but with my wife being a carer and on Universal Credit I'm actually thinking it's not worth it. They would instantly take 60% of it off us. Crap situation to be in.
Click to expand...
Don't know how UC is gauged but is there nothing creative you can do in terms of salary sacrifice/pensions?
 
tom_e said:
Don't know how UC is gauged but is there nothing creative you can do in terms of salary sacrifice/pensions?
Click to expand...
I will ask about Salary Sacrifice, but it looks like that loophole is set to change in 2029 anyway.

I ran the numbers not long ago, we would be better off financially if I quiet my career and just worked in a supermarket on minimum wage. The system is so rubbish, you'd think they'd want me earning more paying more tax.
 
Last edited:
robj20 said:
I will ask about Salary Sacrifice, but it looks like that loophole is set to change in 2029 anyway.

I ran the numbers not long ago, we would be better off financially if I quiet my career and just worked in a supermarket on minimum wage. The system is so rubbish, you'd think they'd want me earning more paying more tax.
Click to expand...

That seems unlikely and even if they do change salary sacrifice (which I would be amazed if they do because higher earners, especially people on £100k+ would be livid), you have 3 years of throwing money into your pension which is worth a lot.

They simply cannot pull everyone into higher rate tax and shut down the things that allow people to plan for retirement as well. Fiscal drag is already screwing over a huge amount of people. Removing the tax efficiencies of salary sacrifice would genuinely lead to a massive brain drain in this country as people wouldn't see any point in working hard only to see most of their wages taken and their chance of a decent retirement gone as well. There has to be some carrot.
 
fez said:
That seems unlikely and even if they do change salary sacrifice (which I would be amazed if they do because higher earners, especially people on £100k+ would be livid), you have 3 years of throwing money into your pension which is worth a lot.

They simply cannot pull everyone into higher rate tax and shut down the things that allow people to plan for retirement as well. Fiscal drag is already screwing over a huge amount of people. Removing the tax efficiencies of salary sacrifice would genuinely lead to a massive brain drain in this country as people wouldn't see any point in working hard only to see most of their wages taken and their chance of a decent retirement gone as well. There has to be some carrot.
Click to expand...
www.gov.uk

Changes to salary sacrifice for pensions from April 2029

www.gov.uk www.gov.uk
 
Our first child was born on Saturday 28th Feb. Firstly, it gives you a completely new appreciation of just how incredible mothers are. Sure, you understand that child birth is a taxing event on the body but once you go through it side by side with your partner, it's a complete eye opener.

There's the 9 months of pregnancy and the challenges with nausea, having to go without things you like and simple things being easy because you're just so much bigger. Then even before the active labour phase, my partner was in latent phase for 48 hours so didn't really sleep at all with the contractions so went into labour with no sleep for a couple of days. Once she got to 10cm dilated, it took two hours for the baby to be delivered. Even though the baby is here safe and sound, there's the recovery she has to go through.

Anyway, I'm so pleased he arrived safe and sound. My other half is having issues with breast feeding, he doesn't latch often and when he does, he rarely sucks and then gets frustrated/angry. Obviously we have formula for backup and we're trying giving him a little to calm him before attempting again with the breast. Hopefully he'll get there.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom