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- Thread starter Devrij
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What!? I thought it just continued getting easier!
What are the little blighters doing now? What have I got to look forward to in a year?
Just when I thought I was getting glimpses of rationale with my almost 3.5yo…..
Wait until you are firmly in the terrible twos, full body tantrums with all their might
I learnt very quickly to keep my cool/patience as anything other than that fuels the fire so to speak!
I think we were lucky with our son. We never experienced the “terrible twos” and it’s exceedingly rare for him to have a full on tantrum.
Soldato
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We skipped terrible twos, but got a good dose of Threenager
Soldato
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Those struggling with sleep, do you have a spare room that you can take turns in with your partner to sleep in? So that one of you gets a good enough sleep one night and then you swap? It's what we do, doesn't make sense to me to have both of us awake when it just requires one parent to deal with.
Soldato
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This was standard for us, but it can get a bit lonely after a while, as you're never sharing a bed.
The benefit definitely outweighed the downside though.
Soldato
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Hoping it's ok to post in here, my lad is 14 now so a bit older but he's having a few struggles with anxiety and excessive handwashing which me and his Mum are trying to get some help/support with...not easy because there are very few resources for kids but hopefully we will get him some help.
The thing I'm struggling with is feeling powerless, it's horrible feeling like I can't fix this for him when I would dearly love to be able to help him feel better and enjoying life more but I know I can't do that for him, it needs to come from him and that doesn't sit well with me.
As selfish as it is it also broke my heart at the weekend, he's always been a really huggy boy and when I went to give him a hug over the weekend, he just sort of stood with his arms out because he didn't want to touch with his hands. I know it must have been hard for him too but it just broke my heart.
The thing I'm struggling with is feeling powerless, it's horrible feeling like I can't fix this for him when I would dearly love to be able to help him feel better and enjoying life more but I know I can't do that for him, it needs to come from him and that doesn't sit well with me.
As selfish as it is it also broke my heart at the weekend, he's always been a really huggy boy and when I went to give him a hug over the weekend, he just sort of stood with his arms out because he didn't want to touch with his hands. I know it must have been hard for him too but it just broke my heart.
It's different for everyone. My partner doesn't sleep very well if she's not with our son. She's a light sleeper and if he wakes up crying or screaming, she wakes up too and can't help but come and settle him.
I can sleep through anything and she'll sometimes get frustrated that I didn't hear him and didn't come to offer support.
He's just over two years old now and he's still an awful sleeper. It's incredibly taxing and while you do sort of adjust, it's had a big impact on us. I often wonder whether we've actually adjusted or if one of us is going to have a breakdown.
There are days when one or both of us has had as little as two hours of uninterrupted sleep. It's torture trying to be productive at work after a few nights like that.
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Sometimes I feel we really lucked out on sleep with our daughter. She was in her own room by 3 months old and it feels like she's never really been a bad sleeper.
She's challenging in other aspects but I really feel for the parents who don't get solid sleep each night. Hard enough as it is!
It was my turn at bedtime last night. She was shattered so we read one story and then she stood up to give me a hug and ended up falling asleep on me. So I just embraced it and let her sleep on me for a bit before putting her into her bed where she then grabbed my arm and held me hostage for 5 minutes. Blows my mind she'll be starting school this year, no idea where the time has gone.
Parenthood has made me far too soft. Moments like that easily get a tear out of my eye. Between feeling the crushing, almost suffocating, weight of being a parent and the responsibilities that come along with it to feeling just pure contentment and joy of seeing her sleep peacefully is a crazy rollercoaster of emotions to have within a few minutes
She's challenging in other aspects but I really feel for the parents who don't get solid sleep each night. Hard enough as it is!
It was my turn at bedtime last night. She was shattered so we read one story and then she stood up to give me a hug and ended up falling asleep on me. So I just embraced it and let her sleep on me for a bit before putting her into her bed where she then grabbed my arm and held me hostage for 5 minutes. Blows my mind she'll be starting school this year, no idea where the time has gone.
Parenthood has made me far too soft. Moments like that easily get a tear out of my eye. Between feeling the crushing, almost suffocating, weight of being a parent and the responsibilities that come along with it to feeling just pure contentment and joy of seeing her sleep peacefully is a crazy rollercoaster of emotions to have within a few minutes
Last night seemed to go a little better, daughter is very attached to mum so she screamed and screamed when she went away but I sat with her in her room until she calmed down and we read the same book many times until she finally go under her blanket and nodded off.
Then she came wondering into our room at around 0430 but not upset like she has been just soaked through her nappy so we're hoping she'd have stayed put if it hadn't leaked.
We've promised her we're taking her to get a new book after nursery tonight so we'll see how it goes today.
Then she came wondering into our room at around 0430 but not upset like she has been just soaked through her nappy so we're hoping she'd have stayed put if it hadn't leaked.
We've promised her we're taking her to get a new book after nursery tonight so we'll see how it goes today.
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Hoping it's ok to post in here, my lad is 14 now so a bit older but he's having a few struggles with anxiety and excessive handwashing which me and his Mum are trying to get some help/support with...not easy because there are very few resources for kids but hopefully we will get him some help.
The thing I'm struggling with is feeling powerless, it's horrible feeling like I can't fix this for him when I would dearly love to be able to help him feel better and enjoying life more but I know I can't do that for him, it needs to come from him and that doesn't sit well with me.
As selfish as it is it also broke my heart at the weekend, he's always been a really huggy boy and when I went to give him a hug over the weekend, he just sort of stood with his arms out because he didn't want to touch with his hands. I know it must have been hard for him too but it just broke my heart.
Saw this searching the forum.
I'm not a parent but I suffer from anxiety.
Also, I had a bad experience at a similar age with my step dad around something similar.
Don't push, be supportive/encouraging and don't dismiss or patronise.
One of the worst things that happened to me at that age (I remember it now) was I would sometimes talk to my mum about this stuff and darker stuff. And one time my step dad said to me "don't worry your mother like that". It caused me to bottle it up. For years and years. I would deal with it internally as it made me afraid to talk about it.
This sounds like anxiety and OCD. My sister has OCD.
Its very very hard to deal with. And it makes no sense. But the feelings persist.
If your son comes to you and asks for help suggest things or do things together. Sports, counselling etc etc. But do it in a positive way. And don't push.
Mental health, ugh, it's a nightmare and I don't wish it on anyone.
As a kid it can be difficult at school with such things. If other kids realise, bullying etc can happen which only makes it worse.
I hope you guys can figure something out. He approachable and there when it's needed.
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Has anything in particular caused the handwashing thing? I've never had it myself but I did have a mate at school who constantly washed his hands, we always just thought he didn't like the ropey surfaces at school but then at uni he got diagnosed with OCD and after a few months of help it he was worlds better.Hoping it's ok to post in here, my lad is 14 now so a bit older but he's having a few struggles with anxiety and excessive handwashing which me and his Mum are trying to get some help/support with...not easy because there are very few resources for kids but hopefully we will get him some help.
The thing I'm struggling with is feeling powerless, it's horrible feeling like I can't fix this for him when I would dearly love to be able to help him feel better and enjoying life more but I know I can't do that for him, it needs to come from him and that doesn't sit well with me.
As selfish as it is it also broke my heart at the weekend, he's always been a really huggy boy and when I went to give him a hug over the weekend, he just sort of stood with his arms out because he didn't want to touch with his hands. I know it must have been hard for him too but it just broke my heart.
I remember us all going away interrailing in the first summer of uni and it was the first time I'd ever seen him much more relaxed and at ease - and not constantly looking for a sink / using bottled water.
Soldato
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That's what I'm trying to do, be there for him and let him know he can talk if he wants to, though he doesn't really talk to me about anything like that. I think he sees me more as the parent he can 'escape' things with, we play video games and stuff and that helps him a bit. But I am a qualified counsellor and it's so hard to not try to be that person for him but I also know I can't. All I can do, as you say is be there and supportive and such. He's certainly struggling with school, has been ever since he went to secondary school.
I'm not really sure, I've spoken to him about it and he can't really identify what has triggered it, according to his mum (who he talks to a bit more) he just feels contaminated.... Hoping to get him some support and help but at the moment he is reluctant to try counselling as I think he's looked into it a bit and is worried that they might try exposure therapy and he thinks that'd be awful.
I'm just letting him konw at the moment that if he wants to talk to someone we can get him that help but he's not really wanting to at the moment.
Soldato
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@valve90210 this may be a silly suggestion, but not hugging your child is heartbreaking. Would wearing gloves on his hands be helpful, perhaps?
If you'd like I can ask my mate what sort of therapy he had - but it was around 18 years ago now so whatever it was may have differed massively since then.
I think you're handling it as best as anyone could, all you can do is let him know that you're there to help and support when he's ready. That won't go unnoticed by him.
Soldato
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It might be worth a try, though I'd feel mean as it's only really for my benefit not his, so feels rather selfish from my point of view.
Thank you, I'm trying but it is a struggle, I just want to help him and see him enjoying his life which at the moment it doesn't often feel like he does.
I've got clinical supervision over the weekend, once I've discussed my clients I might ask my supervisor if she has any thoughts on help as she deals with counselling youngsters etc day in day out.