OcUK Dadsnet thread

dLockers said:
Sure, but I want some commission from you once it works.

1. They need to be "totally awake" right up until the point their head hits the hay. -> I was doing quiet time before bed, with dimmed lights in the bathroom for bathtime.
2. They have to be awake when you put them down. -> If they wake up and aren't where they are when you put them down... that's why they cry.
3. There must be a "lovey" in the cot with them. I was worried it'd be too distracting but she loves it.
4. Nap structure is absolutely critical. 7/8 month olds need fixed windows - 2.5 hrs total. Has to be the same each day.
5. A hybrid "cry it out" that matches your level of need to go and soothe; I went straight for 10mins. Reset the timer if she quietens down. Once she made it 9mins 50 and I felt so bad for resetting, lol.
6. Do not lift or move her out of the cot. Comfort can be given in intervals after 10 mins to a number of your choice - aim for 5 mins but if you cant hack it, do sooner but stick to it consistently.
7. Any wake up ~30 mins before your target wake up should be treated as a night wake.
8. Do not feed on any wake up, at all.
9. Fill them to the brim before bed. Top up just before bath. Feed before bath.
10. Consistent lullaby each night no matter the parent doing bed time.
11. Always bath before bed.
12. Always a quick, very interactive story before bed.
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Not to sound harsh but that cost 400 quid? (Don't get me wrong, after a lot of sleepness nights there's times I'd consider similar). Bet you felt you could run a marathon though after that first full night :p.
 
theone8181 said:
Not to sound harsh but that cost 400 quid? (Don't get me wrong, after a lot of sleepness nights there's times I'd consider similar).
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Yep. I'm sure you are aware it is more than that random list of bits I remember too. Have spent 400 quid in a lot worse ways than a tangible plan to unlock a happy baby and a happier home. Mum uses the lady as a sounding board on WhatsApp to help plan out any tricky days, too.
 
fatbatman said:
Yeah just spoke to Mrs, who primarily deals with the littlun at night and she said she does most of that already with no success
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Pay the £400 quid and get a tailored plan for you, then. Or, ya know, keep going as you are and cross your fingers :p
 
dLockers said:
Pay the £400 quid and get a tailored plan for you, then. Or, ya know, keep going as you are and cross your fingers :p
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I think it's just the way it is with some babies to be honest, not much you can do. But from what my Mrs said none of the above works and she's tried a lot of stuff. Perhaps you just got lucky!

Appreciate it tho
 
fatbatman said:
I think it's just the way it is with some babies to be honest, not much you can do. But from what my Mrs said none of the above doesn't work and she's tried a lot of stuff. Perhaps you just got lucky!

Appreciate it tho
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Yeah I was definitely in this mind set as well. Wasn't overjoyed to be paying some lass 400 notes for what seemed fairly basic. Had to eat my own hat, that's for sure.
 
dLockers said:
Yeah I was definitely in this mind set as well. Wasn't overjoyed to be paying some lass 400 notes for what seemed fairly basic. Had to eat my own hat, that's for sure.
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We have 2 and didn't have any issues with the first, slept 15 hours straight sometimes.

I'm sceptical on paying a sleep consultant so I will give that one a miss, glad it worked for you tho!
 
We tried everything to some degree or another. The old saying remains, every child is different and you adapt to baby's needs.
 
dl8860 said:
I mean you're going to have to tell him to go and do one at some point - unless you want him doing it age 10 still - so I'd suggest sooner rather than later.

And not just for your benefit. Without trying to be too judgemental, that might be enabling and fostering an unhealthy level of neediness.
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Not really. On the flip side, you're teaching them comfort and that they can trust mum and dad are always there. You could argue that just leaving them can lead to unhealthy levels of abandonment issues. There's no right or wrong answer is there? Although a good night's sleep would be incredible. :p
 
RoboCod said:
Not really. On the flip side, you're teaching them comfort and that they can trust mum and dad are always there. You could argue that just leaving them can lead to unhealthy levels of abandonment issues. There's no right or wrong answer is there? Although a good night's sleep would be incredible. :p
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Well I spoke to soon haha. Last night our 30 month old was awake 3 times shouting for us, which he never ever does. Not able to express his thoughts, just requiring cuddles.

We're both feeling knackered this morning as this is paired with our 4 month old who is the standard twice a night usually but had a set of jabs yesterday so barely slept too.

Serves me right for casting my opinion on you :D
 
dLockers said:
Sure, but I want some commission from you once it works.

1. They need to be "totally awake" right up until the point their head hits the hay. -> I was doing quiet time before bed, with dimmed lights in the bathroom for bathtime.
2. They have to be awake when you put them down. -> If they wake up and aren't where they are when you put them down... that's why they cry.
3. There must be a "lovey" in the cot with them. I was worried it'd be too distracting but she loves it.
4. Nap structure is absolutely critical. 7/8 month olds need fixed windows - 2.5 hrs total. Has to be the same each day.
5. A hybrid "cry it out" that matches your level of need to go and soothe; I went straight for 10mins. Reset the timer if she quietens down. Once she made it 9mins 50 and I felt so bad for resetting, lol.
6. Do not lift or move her out of the cot. Comfort can be given in intervals after 10 mins to a number of your choice - aim for 5 mins but if you cant hack it, do sooner but stick to it consistently.
7. Any wake up ~30 mins before your target wake up should be treated as a night wake.
8. Do not feed on any wake up, at all.
9. Fill them to the brim before bed. Top up just before bath. Feed before bath.
10. Consistent lullaby each night no matter the parent doing bed time.
11. Always bath before bed.
12. Always a quick, very interactive story before bed.
Click to expand...

Wow. I need to change careers. I could have told you 95% for free.

All of that information is available freely on the internet. You got MUGGED big time.
 
Number one is a routine nap. The amount of people who have no schedule and surprised when their kids fall asleep or are confused why their child is grumpy when they are literally knackered.

Be the boss!
 
fatbatman said:
Yeah just spoke to Mrs, who primarily deals with the littlun at night and she said she does most of that already with no success
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When you say most, does that include the intervalled soothing?

That was the key thing we found, have a consistent time between going in to soothe with no exceptions. From what I can tell that's where most people fall down. My understanding is that you need to give them as many opportunities as possible to self soothe while balancing that with them not feeling alone. Tough to put up with and balance correctly, but very effective.
 
dl8860 said:
Well I spoke to soon haha. Last night our 30 month old was awake 3 times shouting for us, which he never ever does. Not able to express his thoughts, just requiring cuddles.

We're both feeling knackered this morning as this is paired with our 4 month old who is the standard twice a night usually but had a set of jabs yesterday so barely slept too.

Serves me right for casting my opinion on you :D
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That sucks mate. No hard feelings anyway, I don't think there's any clear cut correct way to parent. You just meander through and cut your own detail with what works. They're a challenge, that's for sure.
 
Resident said:
Wow. I need to change careers. I could have told you 95% for free.

All of that information is available freely on the internet. You got MUGGED big time.
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What good would have 95% been? :p It is a tailored programme that you keep the lass updated on. She uses the data to refine the approach. Mum is in contact with her daily, sharing data and getting the latest tweaks.

Had another 7pm-7am last night. Depreciating this 400 quid is even easier than my car. Currently at £26.67 per night of 12hr kips!
 
Ours is 8 months now and thankfully he sleeps well through the night no problems, 19:30 to 07:00-ish (half hour each way sometimes).

Thing he struggles with is naps in the day, unless he’s shattered he just doesn’t want to.

Today he had a 1:15 nap at lunchtime and that was it :/

But he doesn’t seem to suffer for it, and it’s not everyday. Yesterday he had three naps all 45 mins.
 
I've gotta say, I think the no feeding during the night rule is bordering on cruel. Babies digest food much faster and therefore get hungry much more frequently than we do.

I couldn't have imagined not feeding our daughter in the night for the first year as she definitely couldn't go 5-6 hours without feeding, nevermind going on 12.
 
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