OcUK Dadsnet thread

fatbatman said:
It's down to your own opinion

If your baby wakes up and a feed helps them, do you ignore because "it's not cruel" or do you feed.

It's just down to each individual and how they want to parent.

Personally we don't really mind feeding them through the night.
Click to expand...
How often do you wake in the middle of the night and have a snack?

It is objectively an incorrect thing to do when they are able to fill their bellies enough to sleep through the night. What you are doing is creating an unhealthy relationship with the boob and the expectation that crying gets a feed. They shouldn't need to suck a tit to be able to get back off. Babies fed through the night also tend to eat more in the 10pm-4am window than during the day, creating further problems.

But like you said yourself, everyone muddles through in their own way.
 
Arsonist said:
Actually kinda agree. We switched to bottles very early on too, my partner just couldn't get on with breast feeding, particularly as she had a c section and was in huge amounts of pain, still quite a few issues 6 months on.

While I felt a bit sad for my son missing out on some of those bonus nutrients, fats, immune system boosts etc, bottle feeding meant I could really step up and take control, especially on days where she just wasn't feeling good and was struggling. I now think I'm much more bonded with him and know him more intimately because I've been the one to feed him probably the majority of his feeds. And he seems very happy, healthy and sleeps great at night. Bottle feeding certainly has significant pros to it!
Click to expand...

Totally agree and feel the same way. My wife has talked about wanting to try to breastfeed again with possible baby #2 but I keep saying although I'll support whatever she wants to do in my opinion we should just plan to bottle feed from the start as we know what we're doing with it and it has worked out fine first time around...
 
uncle_rufus said:
Totally agree and feel the same way. My wife has talked about wanting to try to breastfeed again with possible baby #2 but I keep saying although I'll support whatever she wants to do in my opinion we should just plan to bottle feed from the start as we know what we're doing with it and it has worked out fine first time around...
Click to expand...

All I'd say is at least give the baby the colostrum either via feeding or expressing.
My wife did it by expressing and it's easy to see when it runs out then you can just use formula.
 
robj20 said:
All I'd say is at least give the baby the colostrum either via feeding or expressing.
My wife did it by expressing and it's easy to see when it runs out then you can just use formula.
Click to expand...

Ah yes that's a good point cheers, I remember my wife brought that up too now that you say it - but said probably once that's out of the way we may just take the same approach
 
Looking back, I think my use of the word cruel was probably unnecessary. As I explained in my other post, it was just the thought of a 'one size fits all' solution to sleep where removing the option of a feed at night was a little harsh on some babies. Certainly not a dig directly at you dLockers so my apologies.

I think pretty much anything goes in the first year or two when it comes to sleep and I'm hesitant to believe that routines created then have much bearing on the following years.

I know friend's kids that were left to cry it out and others that just let them sleep in their bed if they woke up, plus everything in between. Now the kids are 3+, they all seem to have no trouble sleeping and are all in pretty similar routines regardless.

My personal opinion is that we in the west are guilty of massively overparenting in the first years (me included 100%). We worry about sleep, learning to walk, speech etc so much even though 99% of adults manage to walk, talk and sleep just fine regardless of how they were under the age of 2-3.
 
One thing that's hugely different with baby 2 for us is the sleepless nights.
I mean with George we were tired but we'd go to the room at about 10pm and also through until 5am then be with George through the day.
Now it's a similar amount of overall sleep but in 2-3 hour slots, it's so annoying.
She spends longer asleep during the day and settles better. At night she wants holding constantly, of she cries too loud she then wakes George up.

@DanTheMan We've taken the approach of mostly ignoring milestones and just going with the flow.
George will be in our bed in the evening until he falls asleep then I take him to his bed, when he wakes up about 5am we just bring him back in our bed. In the end what's wrong with wanting some company also, my wife enjoys him being there and so do I to be honest. He'll grow out of it eventually so enjoy it while you can.
 
dLockers said:
How often do you wake in the middle of the night and have a snack?

It is objectively an incorrect thing to do when they are able to fill their bellies enough to sleep through the night. What you are doing is creating an unhealthy relationship with the boob and the expectation that crying gets a feed. They shouldn't need to suck a tit to be able to get back off. Babies fed through the night also tend to eat more in the 10pm-4am window than during the day, creating further problems.

But like you said yourself, everyone muddles through in their own way.
Click to expand...

Bit of a difference me being an adult and my child being 9 months old.

It is not a fact what you are saying and down to opinion. You are now coming across as an expert aswell.

I assume this is your first and because you have had a few good night's of sleep think you'll have cracked the puzzle. You're in for trouble if you think that. Wait until teething, development stage, separation anxiety etc etc.

Additionally, from a logistical point of view having more than one child is difficult, they wake eachother up for instance.
 
fatbatman said:
Bit of a difference me being an adult and my child being 9 months old.

It is not a fact what you are saying and down to opinion. You are now coming across as an expert aswell.

I assume this is your first and because you have had a few good night's of sleep think you'll have cracked the puzzle. You're in for trouble if you think that. Wait until teething, development stage, separation anxiety etc etc.

Additionally, from a logistical point of view having more than one child is difficult, they wake eachother up for instance.
Click to expand...
?? It is just data, have a quick Google. Read what I have said in context as well. I made a point and then was told I was being borderline cruel.

Maybe you should focus on feeding your children more so they don't wake up hungry?
 
DanTheMan said:
Looking back, I think my use of the word cruel was probably unnecessary. As I explained in my other post, it was just the thought of a 'one size fits all' solution to sleep where removing the option of a feed at night was a little harsh on some babies. Certainly not a dig directly at you dLockers so my apologies.

I think pretty much anything goes in the first year or two when it comes to sleep and I'm hesitant to believe that routines created then have much bearing on the following years.

I know friend's kids that were left to cry it out and others that just let them sleep in their bed if they woke up, plus everything in between. Now the kids are 3+, they all seem to have no trouble sleeping and are all in pretty similar routines regardless.

My personal opinion is that we in the west are guilty of massively overparenting in the first years (me included 100%). We worry about sleep, learning to walk, speech etc so much even though 99% of adults manage to walk, talk and sleep just fine regardless of how they were under the age of 2-3.
Click to expand...
I agree. My plan was to muddle through until this intervention was forced upon me :p

It works for us and everyone is better for it. Especially baby.
 
fatbatman said:
Show me the data.

Maybe you should stop being a hypocrite :)
Click to expand...
I don't think I have anything to prove. I said the data says most babies need between 0 and 1 feeds after a certain age, which doesn't disagree with anyones point. The only thing I stated was it is objectively wrong to put baby to sleep with a feed if they are not hungry. They are just using it as a comfort to get back to sleep which is not optimal.

It was put forward as a silly hard line point where it was borderline cruel. The number of caveats on the hard line made it not even a point. Maybe you are reading a different thread?
 
dLockers said:
I don't think I have anything to prove. I said the data says most babies need between 0 and 1 feeds after a certain age, which doesn't disagree with anyones point. The only thing I stated was it is objectively wrong to put baby to sleep with a feed if they are not hungry. They are just using it as a comfort to get back to sleep which is not optimal.

It was put forward as a silly hard line point where it was borderline cruel. The number of caveats on the hard line made it not even a point. Maybe you are reading a different thread?
Click to expand...

I am not really focusing on the cruel comment.

I stated some may think what you do is fine, some may think feeding in the night is - simple as that

What I am outlining is you are stating things as facts and are a bit of a hypocrite, what works for you may not for others. You are also becoming a little nasty with things like "Maybe you should focus on feeding your children more so they don't wake up hungry?" etc.

The advice you give earlier is pretty clear and found on the internet - can you give further examples how your sleep consultant has helped? Perhaps the majority of us are missing something.

I know you stated they communicate daily and make tweaks etc, like what?
 
fatbatman said:
I am not really focusing on the cruel comment.

I stated some may think what you do is fine, some may think feeding in the night is - simple as that

What I am outlining is you are stating things as facts and are a bit of a hypocrite, what works for you may not for others. You are also becoming a little nasty with things like "Maybe you should focus on feeding your children more so they don't wake up hungry?" etc.

The advice you give earlier is pretty clear and found on the internet - can you give further examples how your sleep consultant has helped? Perhaps the majority of us are missing something.

I know you stated they communicate daily and make tweaks etc, like what?
Click to expand...
Not sure what things you think I have inferred as fact?

On the "nasty" comment, it is again fairly objective. I'd hate to wake up in distress because I was hungry. Sounds cruel. I'd focus on getting more calories into them during the day if I genuinely thought night wakes 9 months in were due to hunger.
 
dLockers said:
?? It is just data, have a quick Google.
Click to expand...
Just to clarify, you're basing your whole opinion/argument on a quick Google search?

Maybe you should focus on feeding your children more so they don't wake up hungry?
Click to expand...
Babies don't wake up just because they are hungry, it's one of several reasons they can do so.

My eldest daughter would feed constantly throughout the night literally every 60 minutes, until one night I made her wait for 3 hours, she then fed her normal amount and then slept for another 3 hours, then repeat, this was stretched out to 4 hours and then more, eventually she slept through the night, all of us were happier for it.

She wasn't waking up because she was starving, it was separation anxiety, babies use feeding for comfort, security and reassurance, as well as pure hunger, Google should have told you that.
 
JBeck said:
Just to clarify, you're basing your whole opinion/argument on a quick Google search?


Babies don't wake up just because they are hungry, it's one of several reasons they can do so.

My eldest daughter would feed constantly throughout the night literally every 60 minutes, until one night I made her wait for 3 hours, she then fed her normal amount and then slept for another 3 hours, then repeat, this was stretched out to 4 hours and then more, eventually she slept through the night, all of us were happier for it.

She wasn't waking up because she was starving, it was separation anxiety, babies use feeding for comfort, security and reassurance, as well as pure hunger, Google should have told you that.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the valid contribution but you have missed a lot of the discussion. I agree with everything you have said.
 
dLockers said:
Thanks for the valid contribution but you have missed a lot of the discussion. I agree with everything you have said.
Click to expand...
I haven't been in here for ages, I'd be here for the next day or so if I read all the pages I missed; But whatever was discussed doesn't seem to have been agreed upon judging by the comments on the last page alone so yep.
 
JBeck said:
I haven't been in here for ages, I'd be here for the next day or so if I read all the pages I missed; But whatever was discussed doesn't seem to have been agreed upon judging by the comments on the last page alone so yep.
Click to expand...
I hope you got something out of entering a random discussion half way through, then? :confused::confused:
 
dLockers said:
I hope you got something out of entering a random discussion half way through, then? :confused::confused:
Click to expand...
Got something out of a random discussion halfway through, and when did this random discussion start, at page 1?

I merely offered my experience to the current topic of conversation, perhaps you could do the same instead being so hostile to everyone.
 
dLockers said:
I hope you got something out of entering a random discussion half way through, then? :confused::confused:
Click to expand...

We'll see if you change your mind when you have another child that is completely different eh.

You have become hostile as people scoffed at you paying £400 for basic advice lol.

Did you pay nappy consultants also?

Anyways, no time for hostile hypocrites. All the best.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom