OcUK Dadsnet thread
- Thread starter Devrij
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I’m the same and it was really tough for the first 12-18 months really, baby preferred Mum (of course, that makes sense) but really didn’t like me, wouldn’t settle for me at all etc. Felt like I had failed and was a terrible Dad for not feeling like I loved her.
It has gotten better over time gradually, now a few months off 3 years old and we have a much better relationship and Mum is not always the favourite. The love has grown for sure but I have never gotten to something that resembles the “I’d do anything for them” love others describe.
COVID has been the best thing for me and my daughters relationship as she’s seen me every day for the last year pretty much.
Man of Honour
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Put the book down and wing it.
I had a brother in law who was forever ringing my wife saying "The baby is 2 months old and according to the book he should ......" and it continued for about two years.
When they had the 2nd, 3rd and 4th the book was put away.
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Soldato
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Completely agree with you. The book quote was more tongue in cheek, I do have a book but it’s more like a fun run by of things not like an in-depth. The part about leaving the hospital for the first time and thinking security and midwifes and going to call you back because you are not ready haha.
Thanks for everyone that has replied too. I will have a look through this thread a bit and prob have questions once she’s here!
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Caporegime
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Best advice anyone can give tbh.
Other than weekly checks of height and weight to ensure their growth is good. The only thing they require is milk, nappy changes and attention.
As they get older they will require more interaction with their surroundings and stuff to help them with teething and vaccinations, etc.
We feed on demand there is no schedule we have tried but he won't take to it. We even tried not feeding him and seeing if he could go longer and then take a larger feed but nope he ended up drinking less and completely going the opposite way. So after that experiment it's on demand and we make the standard amount he can handle. He's officially 3 months but 2 weeks early so really only 2 and a half. He's developing well and is already nearly outgrown his next to me bedside crib.
The wife and mother in law are talking about weaning at 4 months but I think that's early. I thought standard was 6 months because the milk has everything they need.
Our little one coming up to 10 months soon. She's definitely getting more ... human .. now and that's a good thing. Can't be doing with the squealing potato stage where you have to decipher what they need at any given moment. Although, apart from being a PITA with sleeping and eating and constant, never ending need for attention (getting her a 'Twitter' account soon as she can type), it's been ok. She's alive and growing and seems to be smiling 24/7. That's pretty much the goal: keep her alive and happy. The rest we can deal with later.
She's starting to stand without support for quite a few seconds at a time so might be walking soon. Which will be interesting as this kid is 100 times more curious than a ferret and gets into everything. She misses nothing and there's a lot of intelligence in her eyes. Which I will of course say as her dad
. We play 'chase' around the house where I get on my knees and roar and then crawl after her. She'll squeal and crawl away from me as fast as she can. Then stop, turn around and rush after me. She's been crawling since 5 months but now she REALLY moves.
On Monday she starts nursery for 2 hours, twice a week. Just to give Mum a small break, and allow some interaction with new people in a structured environment. Her need for stimulation and constant new things to explore would be satiated there. Seriously, we've unpacked every drawer and cupboard in the house 5 times over. Picked up, felt, studied and tasted everything. We've done the same in grandma's house. Explored every inch of the garden and dad spend hours trying to keep stuff out of baby's mouth. She's scared of nothing, only the beard of a viking character magnet we keep on the spare fridge in the garage. She loves loud noises. The louder the better. The louder the more she smiles.
We will slowly increase the time she spends there to 4 hours a day, three times a week. Such a quaint little nursery too. Wish I could spend some time there.
Other than that, we take her swimming twice a week, once with Mum on Thursdays, Sat morning with me. Mondays she comes to see me at work and have lunch with me in the park opposite my office building, Ice cream date as family once a week, baby gym with me on Tuesdays for an hour, baby dance and play with mum. Sunday walks with grandma and grandpa and village markets every Saturday so she can get used to throngs of people. She has the biggest smiles for just about everyone.
It's been a massively busy and learning curve for all of us the past 10 months. Seems to be going ok so far.
She's starting to stand without support for quite a few seconds at a time so might be walking soon. Which will be interesting as this kid is 100 times more curious than a ferret and gets into everything. She misses nothing and there's a lot of intelligence in her eyes. Which I will of course say as her dad
. We play 'chase' around the house where I get on my knees and roar and then crawl after her. She'll squeal and crawl away from me as fast as she can. Then stop, turn around and rush after me. She's been crawling since 5 months but now she REALLY moves.On Monday she starts nursery for 2 hours, twice a week. Just to give Mum a small break, and allow some interaction with new people in a structured environment. Her need for stimulation and constant new things to explore would be satiated there. Seriously, we've unpacked every drawer and cupboard in the house 5 times over. Picked up, felt, studied and tasted everything. We've done the same in grandma's house. Explored every inch of the garden and dad spend hours trying to keep stuff out of baby's mouth. She's scared of nothing, only the beard of a viking character magnet we keep on the spare fridge in the garage. She loves loud noises. The louder the better. The louder the more she smiles.
We will slowly increase the time she spends there to 4 hours a day, three times a week. Such a quaint little nursery too. Wish I could spend some time there.
Other than that, we take her swimming twice a week, once with Mum on Thursdays, Sat morning with me. Mondays she comes to see me at work and have lunch with me in the park opposite my office building, Ice cream date as family once a week, baby gym with me on Tuesdays for an hour, baby dance and play with mum. Sunday walks with grandma and grandpa and village markets every Saturday so she can get used to throngs of people. She has the biggest smiles for just about everyone.
It's been a massively busy and learning curve for all of us the past 10 months. Seems to be going ok so far.
I really noticed an acceleration in our daughter's development once she started nursery. Not that she wasn't developing well already, but being around lots of children her own age for 8 hours a day really helped her social skills and confidence.
I do feel guilty that she spends 8-9 hours a day at nursery during weekdays but in all honesty it's made her a more confident, well rounded girl.
My daughter turned 4 today and its so strange to see this little girl who I can have a full conversation with and who is far more observant than I ever was. It seems like not so long ago that she was this little baby that couldn't want and relied on us for everything.
I've got to say, it's lovely when they get to the age where they take themselves to the toilet without needing your involvement!
I do feel guilty that she spends 8-9 hours a day at nursery during weekdays but in all honesty it's made her a more confident, well rounded girl.
My daughter turned 4 today and its so strange to see this little girl who I can have a full conversation with and who is far more observant than I ever was. It seems like not so long ago that she was this little baby that couldn't want and relied on us for everything.
I've got to say, it's lovely when they get to the age where they take themselves to the toilet without needing your involvement!
Soldato
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My 4 year has now decided he can (attempt) to wipe his bum, which I dont mind. What I do mind is that he scrunched up 1 piece of paper (so probably missed) then tried to grab my face. He has also come up with the mother if all conversation enders, I was arguing with him about what he wanted to watch and he just came out with "Well I'm just going to punch you in the nuts", he caught me square on the other day and my Mrs told him off but definitely sounded like she was trying to not laugh. I'm not going to lie, after the pain has passed it is quite funny.
. I'm not going to lie, after the pain has passed it is quite funny.
Caporegime
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Our little one coming up to 10 months soon. She's definitely getting more ... human .. now and that's a good thing. Can't be doing with the squealing potato stage where you have to decipher what they need at any given moment. Although, apart from being a PITA with sleeping and eating and constant, never ending need for attention (getting her a 'Twitter' account soon as she can type), it's been ok. She's alive and growing and seems to be smiling 24/7. That's pretty much the goal: keep her alive and happy. The rest we can deal with later.
She's starting to stand without support for quite a few seconds at a time so might be walking soon. Which will be interesting as this kid is 100 times more curious than a ferret and gets into everything. She misses nothing and there's a lot of intelligence in her eyes. Which I will of course say as her dad
On Monday she starts nursery for 2 hours, twice a week. Just to give Mum a small break, and allow some interaction with new people in a structured environment. Her need for stimulation and constant new things to explore would be satiated there. Seriously, we've unpacked every drawer and cupboard in the house 5 times over. Picked up, felt, studied and tasted everything. We've done the same in grandma's house. Explored every inch of the garden and dad spend hours trying to keep stuff out of baby's mouth. She's scared of nothing, only the beard of a viking character magnet we keep on the spare fridge in the garage. She loves loud noises. The louder the better. The louder the more she smiles.
We will slowly increase the time she spends there to 4 hours a day, three times a week. Such a quaint little nursery too. Wish I could spend some time there.
Other than that, we take her swimming twice a week, once with Mum on Thursdays, Sat morning with me. Mondays she comes to see me at work and have lunch with me in the park opposite my office building, Ice cream date as family once a week, baby gym with me on Tuesdays for an hour, baby dance and play with mum. Sunday walks with grandma and grandpa and village markets every Saturday so she can get used to throngs of people. She has the biggest smiles for just about everyone.
It's been a massively busy and learning curve for all of us the past 10 months. Seems to be going ok so far.
Are you guys not scared of Covid at all?
Not at all.
Blooming new Zealand...Our little one coming up to 10 months soon. She's definitely getting more ... human .. now and that's a good thing. Can't be doing with the squealing potato stage where you have to decipher what they need at any given moment. Although, apart from being a PITA with sleeping and eating and constant, never ending need for attention (getting her a 'Twitter' account soon as she can type), it's been ok. She's alive and growing and seems to be smiling 24/7. That's pretty much the goal: keep her alive and happy. The rest we can deal with later.
She's starting to stand without support for quite a few seconds at a time so might be walking soon. Which will be interesting as this kid is 100 times more curious than a ferret and gets into everything. She misses nothing and there's a lot of intelligence in her eyes. Which I will of course say as her dad
On Monday she starts nursery for 2 hours, twice a week. Just to give Mum a small break, and allow some interaction with new people in a structured environment. Her need for stimulation and constant new things to explore would be satiated there. Seriously, we've unpacked every drawer and cupboard in the house 5 times over. Picked up, felt, studied and tasted everything. We've done the same in grandma's house. Explored every inch of the garden and dad spend hours trying to keep stuff out of baby's mouth. She's scared of nothing, only the beard of a viking character magnet we keep on the spare fridge in the garage. She loves loud noises. The louder the better. The louder the more she smiles.
We will slowly increase the time she spends there to 4 hours a day, three times a week. Such a quaint little nursery too. Wish I could spend some time there.
Other than that, we take her swimming twice a week, once with Mum on Thursdays, Sat morning with me. Mondays she comes to see me at work and have lunch with me in the park opposite my office building, Ice cream date as family once a week, baby gym with me on Tuesdays for an hour, baby dance and play with mum. Sunday walks with grandma and grandpa and village markets every Saturday so she can get used to throngs of people. She has the biggest smiles for just about everyone.
It's been a massively busy and learning curve for all of us the past 10 months. Seems to be going ok so far.
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Calm down Nancy. We're in NZ. We don't have 'lockdowns'. Well, not for a year anyway. Just the odd case of Covid occasionally at an airport - straight into quarantine they go.
Deleted User 298457
Deleted User 298457
He lives in New Zealand
Hardcore! Each to their own mind you. I wish ours could go and he's two now!10 month old going to day orphanage
10 month old going to day orphanage
pretty normal age as maternity leave wraps. Ours both went (full time), kids are much better for it in our opinion. They could socialise with other kids and nurseries/pre school do a much better development job than even the most engaged parents.
On a negative front, I assume the more shielded kids would do a better job of these damaging lockdown laws. Ours struggled tremendously with the isolation.
Each to their own, eh?
Each child is different and it depends how they're taught/brought up. Ours has a great vocabulary at 2 years and socialises just fine when we see anyone. He doesn't go to nursery yet, despite being able to send him, we haven't needed to and felt we shouldn't during covid restrictions.
Ours both went (full time), kids are much better for it in our opinion. They could socialise with other kids and nurseries/pre school do a much better development job than even the most engaged parents.
On a negative front, I assume the more shielded kids would do a better job of these damaging lockdown laws. Ours struggled tremendously with the isolation.
Each to their own, eh?
On the flip side, our friend's child is always at nursery is very selfish and doesn't talk much at all. We have another friend whose child came to our swimming lessons and had plenty of social settings but refuses to talk. The parents have already had him in for assessments aged just 2 years old. I think it's too young to start categorising children but to be fair, the kid isn't... Quite right?
I think so long as you invest time and effort in your kids, they'll turn out OK regardless. Our friend's quiet daughter will no doubt come out of her shell in no time.
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