OcUK Dadsnet thread

Little one went to daycare for an hour this week. Apparently didn't even notice my wife weren't there as she was straight into all the new and interesting things on offer. Wife got back and she was happily playing in the sandpit with another 10 month old.

I also don't know if this is connected but last night was the first time in literally MONTHS that she went down at 8pm and slept through. Her mum and I woke just before 5am in a confused panic, both wondering if she was still alive. Happily snoozing away in her cot she was.

Next week she'll be going two days a week for an hour at a time before starting in April her planned 2 hours at-a-time, 2-3 days a week.
 
Desmo said:
Personally I don't even like this. In years to come we wonder why people have issues about their body or their looks when we've spent years as they're growing up telling them how gorgeous, pretty or handsome they are. See it all the time on social media with families constantly going on about looks. Does my head in.
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Not sure that's really fair. I remember as a teenager thinking, am I ugly? One of the few things that made me feel otherwise was my mum telling me that I was handsome. Make of that what you will, but all I can say is that it had no negative effect on me.
 
dirtychinchilla said:
Not sure that's really fair.
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I'm not saying I'm 100% right, but in my totally unprofessional opinion it just feels like it could play a part, albeit a very small part, in the issues I'm talking about. It's just another small piece of the societal puzzle that goes towards these things.
 
Desmo said:
Personally I don't even like this. In years to come we wonder why people have issues about their body or their looks when we've spent years as they're growing up telling them how gorgeous, pretty or handsome they are. See it all the time on social media with families constantly going on about looks. Does my head in.
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Hmm, I think if you only ever comment on their looks and nothing else then I can see how that might contribute to problems later. But provided you're also praising their intelligence when they do something smart, their courage when they do something brave, their skills when they do something artistic, then it's not the end of the world to also tell them they are pretty from time to time
 
uncle_rufus said:
Hmm, I think if you only ever comment on their looks and nothing else then I can see how that might contribute to problems later. But provided you're also praising their intelligence when they do something smart, their courage when they do something brave, their skills when they do something artistic, then it's not the end of the world to also tell them they are pretty from time to time
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Exactly this really, I'm all about that positive vibe. If your parents can't pump you full of confidence then who can? There's ways and means though, I mean it's easy to raise an entitled **** but to make a child confident and respectful of themselves and others is key.
 
Eldest has just gone in for a cardiac procedure at Great Ormond Street. Children should come with a warning about the years they take off your life with all the stress.
 
Minstadave said:
Eldest has just gone in for a cardiac procedure at Great Ormond Street. Children should come with a warning about the years they take off your life with all the stress.
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Eeek, hope all goes well

My daughter has had ear problems for years and had a few ops to try and sort it. Nowhere near as serious as yours, but still you worry like crazy every time
 
Minstadave said:
Eldest has just gone in for a cardiac procedure at Great Ormond Street. Children should come with a warning about the years they take off your life with all the stress.
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Definitely. Though if that were true I shouldn't still be here. Lol

It amazes me how they can bring out your inner strength though when things do get rough.
 
I could really use some help with an issue with my toddler. Here's the most succinct summary I can give. If anyone wants more detail, I will provide it later. Just ask:

My son is just over 2 years and I can't get him to eat. He's just gone to bed without eating anything for his dinner. Yesterday for dinner he ate next to nothing. From about the age of 1 he became really fussy and it got to the point recently where 90% of the time he would only eat cereal for his dinner, after refusing whatever we made him. My OH had had enough and last month asked her Health Visitor for a referral to a baby development specialist. We went to the appointment and were advised that he's healthy (50 percentile height, 25 percentile weight) and that the solution was to simply stop giving him a choice. Make him something and if he doesn't eat it after a while, take it away and leave it at that. He will supposedly learn that he has to eat his dinner (how long is that supposed to take to work!?).

It's been 2 weeks since then and although it's worked on a few days (he's kicked up a massive stink and then eventually eaten some of his dinner) it doesn't seem to be working really, and it's devastating my OH. I'm genuinely more worried about her than about him, because she's already been having a hard time because of work and a few other things, and this is just devastating her (it's hard to watch your kid go hungry, especially when you know/suspect you're going to pay for it with a really bad night's sleep). I am basically in favour of giving it a while longer, but she thinks it's more serious. She also has a theory that our toddler's food aversion started after he burned his mouth on some food (a fish finger) I gave him that was too hot—this was when he was about 1, so the timing does fit. So she thinks we're better off giving in and letting him just eat cereal, and then getting a referral to a 'food therapist' to try and work it out that way.

If anyone can offer any advice, either on how to get him eating (maybe someone has had this problem), or what to do in the situation, I would appreciate it.
 
kissenger said:
I could really use some help with an issue with my toddler. Here's the most succinct summary I can give. If anyone wants more detail, I will provide it later. Just ask:

My son is just over 2 years and I can't get him to eat. He's just gone to bed without eating anything for his dinner. Yesterday for dinner he ate next to nothing. From about the age of 1 he became really fussy and it got to the point recently where 90% of the time he would only eat cereal for his dinner, after refusing whatever we made him. My OH had had enough and last month asked her Health Visitor for a referral to a baby development specialist. We went to the appointment and were advised that he's healthy (50 percentile height, 25 percentile weight) and that the solution was to simply stop giving him a choice. Make him something and if he doesn't eat it after a while, take it away and leave it at that. He will supposedly learn that he has to eat his dinner (how long is that supposed to take to work!?).

It's been 2 weeks since then and although it's worked on a few days (he's kicked up a massive stink and then eventually eaten some of his dinner) it doesn't seem to be working really, and it's devastating my OH. I'm genuinely more worried about her than about him, because she's already been having a hard time because of work and a few other things, and this is just devastating her (it's hard to watch your kid go hungry, especially when you know/suspect you're going to pay for it with a really bad night's sleep). I am basically in favour of giving it a while longer, but she thinks it's more serious. She also has a theory that our toddler's food aversion started after he burned his mouth on some food (a fish finger) I gave him that was too hot—this was when he was about 1, so the timing does fit. So she thinks we're better off giving in and letting him just eat cereal, and then getting a referral to a 'food therapist' to try and work it out that way.

If anyone can offer any advice, either on how to get him eating (maybe someone has had this problem), or what to do in the situation, I would appreciate it.
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Okay, not got any great advice for you, but our daughter, now 5, went through something similar. Tbh, she will still eat the stuff she wants to and say she's full, then later say she's hungry and wants snacks. Sneaky little thing. But yeah when she was little we tried the whole "like it or lump it" method and caved because she literally wouldn't eat. Now she's older, far easier to reason with (or argue with), if she doesn't eat it we feel a lot better about it because she is doing it to be stubborn and we know she'll cave later. When she was little we just felt awful and decided to leave it until she was older
 
kissenger said:
I could really use some help with an issue with my toddler. Here's the most succinct summary I can give. If anyone wants more detail, I will provide it later. Just ask:

My son is just over 2 years and I can't get him to eat. He's just gone to bed without eating anything for his dinner. Yesterday for dinner he ate next to nothing. From about the age of 1 he became really fussy and it got to the point recently where 90% of the time he would only eat cereal for his dinner, after refusing whatever we made him. My OH had had enough and last month asked her Health Visitor for a referral to a baby development specialist. We went to the appointment and were advised that he's healthy (50 percentile height, 25 percentile weight) and that the solution was to simply stop giving him a choice. Make him something and if he doesn't eat it after a while, take it away and leave it at that. He will supposedly learn that he has to eat his dinner (how long is that supposed to take to work!?).

It's been 2 weeks since then and although it's worked on a few days (he's kicked up a massive stink and then eventually eaten some of his dinner) it doesn't seem to be working really, and it's devastating my OH. I'm genuinely more worried about her than about him, because she's already been having a hard time because of work and a few other things, and this is just devastating her (it's hard to watch your kid go hungry, especially when you know/suspect you're going to pay for it with a really bad night's sleep). I am basically in favour of giving it a while longer, but she thinks it's more serious. She also has a theory that our toddler's food aversion started after he burned his mouth on some food (a fish finger) I gave him that was too hot—this was when he was about 1, so the timing does fit. So she thinks we're better off giving in and letting him just eat cereal, and then getting a referral to a 'food therapist' to try and work it out that way.

If anyone can offer any advice, either on how to get him eating (maybe someone has had this problem), or what to do in the situation, I would appreciate it.
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When you say cereal do you mean sugary crap that has the same nutritional benefits as eating ice cream? Or proper cereal like porridge?

Personally I'd persist more and tell the other half to calm down. If he hasn't eaten for more than 24 hours straight then I'd be worried. You can do serious harm to your child development if they aren't eating a nutritionally complete diet. You should have heard of that kid that went blind just eating chips and crisps for instance. Crazy that a child in the UK could be nutritionally deficient but clearly it happens.

If you do opt for the cereal approach I'd be crushing up a multivitamin into it or at least feeding him the gummy bear variety type with every meal. He will pee out the excess but strong chance of poor absorption through pill form Vs real food.
 
All we do is make a dinner and leave it out, if he initially refuses it we just leave it out. 9/10 hell eat it eventually.
This was the advice his dietitian gave us, don't offer choices, have them eat what were eating.

We also found he enjoys more social eating ie table cloth on the livingroom floor when we're having a takeaway he eats far better than sat at his table with his own plate.
 
Psycho Sonny said:
When you say cereal do you mean sugary crap that has the same nutritional benefits as eating ice cream? Or proper cereal like porridge?
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No sugary stuff. It’s usually Weetabix he asks for.

He’s never gone 24 hours. It’s usually just dinner. The thing is he will eat at least 3 Weetabix in the morning, 4 sometimes, so he does have an appetite, but it’s not very varied.
 
robj20 said:
All we do is make a dinner and leave it out, if he initially refuses it we just leave it out. 9/10 hell eat it eventually.
This was the advice his dietitian gave us, don't offer choices, have them eat what were eating.

We also found he enjoys more social eating ie table cloth on the livingroom floor when we're having a takeaway he eats far better than sat at his table with his own plate.
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Social eating is effective. Not with us, but at nursery. He eats a lot better with other kids.
 
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