The 30 hours was a nice little saving for us when my daughter turned 3 (as was lockdown!). However, now she starts school in September we have to utilise breakfast and after school club for 5 mornings and 4 evenings and it’s going to be a killer. Another £100 per month approx to what we pay currently.
OcUK Dadsnet thread
- Thread starter Devrij
- Start date
@Junglist
1. Congratulations
2. It's the best experience you will ever have
3. Consider not taking other people's advice but follow your own instinct, NOBODY has a manual on how to do this. You'll find your own way how and you'll be even more elated by doing so. (and no, I'm not talking about ignoring advice on what's a good pushchair, that's good info, I'm just talking about being a dad and going with your gut). The adventure is real.
Oh and edit:
4. I said the same when I used to be a big pot head "I can barely look after myself let alone a child". I gave that **** up and instantly changed my life around.
5. You think you're scared (and that's fine), but the most important thing you will do now and for the foreseeable is support the mother of your child, she is ******** herself inside.
1. Congratulations
2. It's the best experience you will ever have
3. Consider not taking other people's advice but follow your own instinct, NOBODY has a manual on how to do this. You'll find your own way how and you'll be even more elated by doing so. (and no, I'm not talking about ignoring advice on what's a good pushchair, that's good info, I'm just talking about being a dad and going with your gut). The adventure is real.
Oh and edit:
4. I said the same when I used to be a big pot head "I can barely look after myself let alone a child". I gave that **** up and instantly changed my life around.
5. You think you're scared (and that's fine), but the most important thing you will do now and for the foreseeable is support the mother of your child, she is ******** herself inside.
Last edited:
30 is the best time it have a kid. You'll still be a youngish dad when he's older. Wait too long and you'll be too old when he's ready to go to the pub with you or play some games with
Wow, I wish it was that simple. I have a 7 and a 3 year old, both boys. It's the hardest and most challenging thing in the world bringing up kids. No time or money for yourselves or each other for a long long time.
Yeah, no one has kids and expects time and money for the self
mind you, if that's an issue then perhaps parenting isn't really for the person deciding to have kids.It's a bit late for that nowYeah, no one has kids and expects time and money for the self
Do you regret having them?
Soldato
- Joined
- 27 Mar 2013
- Posts
- 9,515
Just thought I'd post that we took the kids to diggerland yesterday (good job I checked that as it autocorrected to doggerland
). I enjoyed it as did both kids. Saw a mum telling off her child and gave him a quick slap. Made me chuckle as all kids can be a pain in the arse. Also lots of yummy mummy's out
.
). I enjoyed it as did both kids. Saw a mum telling off her child and gave him a quick slap. Made me chuckle as all kids can be a pain in the arse. Also lots of yummy mummy's out.
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2003
- Posts
- 91,949
- Location
- Falling...
Whilst my kids are young still, the first few months / years are the toughest, but now there's nothing I like more than spending my evenings/weekends with them and dedicating my time to them. I don't resent reducing my socialising (besides I still do a lot of that at work and whilst at work (meeting friends for lunch etc...)) or playing games (not that I did much of that) or anything else. I still hit the gym regularly, and do a lot of exercise which is the only thing I'm interested in. Wife and I still enjoy some date nights, and the rest of the time spending it with the kids, watching them learn, play, helping them learn and grow is the single most satisfying thing I have ever had to do in my life.
We were older when we had our kids, but that meant we were more worldly wise, and had more financial stability and also just felt more ready (this is totally personal and subjective). Never had I had a moment's thought where I went "ugh I wish I didn't have kids" - except maybe briefly once when one of your kids poos on you for the 3rd time during a sleepless night episode!
But even then it's a flash in the pan sort of emotion and never seems to return.
Soldato
- Joined
- 14 Mar 2011
- Posts
- 5,456
Our first little girl born last year is almost 1 now so not long to go until Nursery starts and Mum goes back to work... she's only planning to go back to working 3 days a week so Monday + Friday off, and Nursery the other 3 days. My work have said it's entirely up to us where we work going forward so I will probably work from home 4 days a week too (including Monday + Friday for sure) which is great as I've really enjoyed being able to see them both a bit during the day during lockdown
Good lord the fees though, it's actually about the same as our mortgage for the 3 days
(yes that's after the 20% govt benefit is deducted too) but at least it isn't forever (though if we decide to have another one I imagine we'll aim to have them starting nursery just as #1 gets the 30hrs free thing - which will stretch it out a bit). Excited for her though I think she's going to have a great time, even if the early days will be tough to get used to
Good lord the fees though, it's actually about the same as our mortgage for the 3 days
(yes that's after the 20% govt benefit is deducted too) but at least it isn't forever (though if we decide to have another one I imagine we'll aim to have them starting nursery just as #1 gets the 30hrs free thing - which will stretch it out a bit). Excited for her though I think she's going to have a great time, even if the early days will be tough to get used toDeleted User 298457
Deleted User 298457
I know its mega-bux but it genuinely is worth every penny. Not just for you pair to get some time back, but I think they really get a lot of being amongst other kids for an extended period.Our first little girl born last year is almost 1 now so not long to go until Nursery starts and Mum goes back to work... she's only planning to go back to working 3 days a week so Monday + Friday off, and Nursery the other 3 days. My work have said it's entirely up to us where we work going forward so I will probably work from home 4 days a week too (including Monday + Friday for sure) which is great as I've really enjoyed being able to see them both a bit during the day during lockdown
Good lord the fees though, it's actually about the same as our mortgage for the 3 days
Exactly this, a lot of people think whats the point in working but its more about what your children get out of nursery
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2003
- Posts
- 91,949
- Location
- Falling...
100% this. Socialising for kids is so great for their development.
Also I think you get some financial support if you earn over / under a certain amount - but I can't remember what it is now.
Deleted User 298457
Deleted User 298457
20% top-up, up to £2k a year, as long as your adjusted net income is below 100k.
And remember folks, £2k 'cash' costs £6k if you are over £100k - so top that pension up tax free and take the government support
Soldato
- Joined
- 14 Mar 2011
- Posts
- 5,456
Actually reading above, if the 30 hrs free childcare is only during term time doesn't that basically make it impossible (depending on your salaries) to have 2 kids in nursery for any overlapping time at all? Up until now we were thinking once #1 isn't costing so much we could justify paying for #2, but now thinking we may not be able to afford it and would have to delay #2 until #1 is actually starting school. Or am I mistaken?
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2003
- Posts
- 91,949
- Location
- Falling...
20% top-up, up to £2k a year, as long as your adjusted net income is below 100k.
And remember folks, £2k 'cash' costs £6k if you are over £100k - so top that pension up tax free and take the government support
That's the one! We were lucky we had childcare vouchers before they were phased out. It's ridiculous it doesn't exist anymore such a good system. I was a "high" earner and whilst it seems a bit of a "woe is me" I was the only earner for over 4 years, and although it seems like a reasonable income, if you divide it by 2 adults and 2 children and add childcare and everything else into it it does chip away at it somewhat.
I think even if you earn over 100k you can still get 15 free hours once they're over 2 or 3 is it? So as @dLockers says, if you can get your income under 100k you can get an additional 15hrs making 30hrs in total. It's also good to top up your pension! Primary school at least is free!
I think for a couple of years you just have to accept less frivolity and focus on sensible spending, it's not worth ignoring childcare - as parents it's good to have a bit of "you" time, but also it is ultimately really really good for your child to spend time with other kids in an environment where they will learn.
Soldato
- Joined
- 27 Mar 2013
- Posts
- 9,515
Our nursery turned round and just averaged it for the year which I think is 21 or 23 hours. We topup with something like 16 quid a day. I'm lucky I that I'm still getting childcare vouchers as even though my wife changed jobs last year, childcare will soon drop to under that magical 243 number.
Amazing moments just keep on coming too. I have a six year old that does a dance class and she was more excited for her friends to get a certificate than herself. I will cherish the look on her face for the rest of my life.