My girlfriend had her 12-week scan yesterday. It's exciting, but I need to start doing some reading. Preferably the sort of "these are the things I wish I'd known" sort lists
anyone got any suggestions or summaries? I'm about to have a nosey through the rest of the thread, but it's, er, rather long!
Don't get suckered into the books too much, most of it will come natural.
I can't remember the name of the books, I'll try and find out, it basically there is a range of books that isn't preachy and just gives tips and advice for the different stages of the babies development.
I found a lot of books to be preachy and pushing a particular ideology.
The classes were a great help for the birth but as has been mentioned they can push a certain ideology which is (at least I thought) was for the benefit of the NHS and not necessarily for the mother and father.
Have a birthing plan, but expect it to all go to pot when baby eventually comes. As a man expect to go hungry and thirsty during the birth, the hospital will not acknowledge your presence and you likely won't want to leave your wife's side when labour starts, (some births are quick, some are painfully slow, my wife was in labour for 16, hours was horrific and took its toll on both of us), so make sure you pack snacks and drink in your labour bag.
If you are going to a birthing unit you can use fragrances and have music etc, if your in a hospital all this goes out the window and it's not allowed. Music is at a low volume.
The hospital will also kick you out when visiting closes, unless your in the birthing suite, then they'll kick you out essentially as soon as baby is born. I was chucked out at 2am after being at the hospital since 8am, and wife had an induced labour which started the night before that. I personally don't think it was safe to kick me out at that time having no sleep or rest and then have an hour's drive after that. I was then expected to be back at the hospital for 8am the next day.
Don't get too hung up on breast feeding, by all means try it and give it a good go, but the most important thing is that you ,(parents) and the baby are fed and rested, the first couple of weeks is very tiring and a big shift in life, it's difficult enough without stressing your doing everything wrong.
My wife really tried to breast feed, and the first night at home was really difficult, my wife just wasn't producing enough milk (despite having massive udders herself
) and after roughly 4 hours, changing from breast to breast getting sore baby crying be abuse it's hungry, it's 11pm and we just want sleep, wife's getting stressed because she feels like she's failing and not following the rule book the midwives insist on, I decided enough was enough and to try formula (luckily I had the foresight to get some ready mix stuff incase it all went to pot with the breast feeding), within 10 minutes baby was ded and sound asleep, wife stopped stressing about being a failure and we got to sleep. We tried a few more days to breast feed but just wasn't working my boy was a hungry child so we ended up sticking to the formula. The midwife did try jumping on the wife about it but I shot her down instantly. Some midwives can be a bit self righteous.