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I've just had to deal with my first oik of a child. My daughter who is in year 3 was playing some friends that she went to the same child minder with and are both in school together. This was after their TKD lesson, and they were mucking around whilst the parents had a bit of a chat. One of the parents invited a neighbour's son who ended up e.ffing and blinding at my daughter for no apparent reason (I'm guessing showing off) after the class. We'd never seen him before, and our friends invited him along to the class to see what it's like.

Queue my daughter coming up to me really upset that she had been sworn at (deep down I'm sad she even knows those words, but I'm not naïve enough to think that she doesn't , but it still is upsetting as we don't swear at home at all, even if we stub our toes it's just not an instinct for us).

The friend who was looking after him didn't really seem to react to it (her son plays with the neighbour so I guess is used to him?) other than say "say sorry". They were playing in the car (a Tesla) and the kid just used the tannoy to say "sorry" in a not very convincing way. I said, "No, come out right here, right now and apologies properly" - there were looks of incredulity from some of the parents (as if I was in the wrong to be upset by it), but I must have said it in such a way that people didn't seem to want to react, the kid came, and to his credit was somewhat petrified (not that I'm intent on scaring children) and apologised. I said to him "do not use language like that at anyone you don't know, and certainly not towards my family...". Kid apologised again and shuffled off, I believed him.

I know many people here will think that's an overreaction, but I find it unacceptable. I hope when our friends drop him back off home that his parents are updated and they do not dismiss that behaviour. I hope it was just a bit of showing off and not how this kid is normally - I'm erring on the side of showing off (his friend (neighbour) was with him so I think it's probably going to be that.)

That said, I doubt the kids will interact with that kid again, maybe I'm over protective, but that's my job as a parent. I feel sorry for any potential boyfriends though :D
 
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dirtychinchilla said:
Has anyone got any tips on how to stop your 5 month old waking up at 4 AM for no reason?
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Overtired? Have you got black out blinds? Hungry?

Outside of a 5 month old being a 5 month old there's usually some reasoning behind early wakes.

5 months old is between 2 and 3 naps a day right? Potentially means it's either one way or the other, they need the third nap and will be less 'overtired' when sleeping at night - or they're ready to drop that final nap and by having it currently they're not tired enough to sleep any longer at night.

Black out blinds are a dream in the summer, we still use them now and our daughter is almost 3. Not the ones that stick with suction cups, ones you cut to size and essentially make the room pitch black. Ideal for when it's bright at 4am in the morning!

In terms of hungry, we did a dream feed at around 10pm most nights when she was 5-6 months (only did it for around 3 weeks or so) and that helped as well!
 
In all seriousness when my daughter was around that age I was getting into the office between 4 and 5am (it's an hours drive away) because it was easier to get up with her at 3ish and feed/get her back to sleep then just start my day than try and get back to sleep for an hour or 2 of rubbish sleep then start my day.

I now willingly start my days at 4am sometimes :eek:
 
Thankfully we've got flexi time which allows us to work between 0500 and 2300 so as long as I'm available for some portion of the standard 0800-1630 for meetings and things with normal people then I can pretty much start/finish when I like. Don't think I could actually go back to a 9-5 now.
 
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dirtychinchilla said:
Thanks for the advice, guys. Sounds like we just have to suck it up. Tbh, it's not me that's suffering, it's my wife
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Are you taking turns in getting up?

The wife and I did that - what we took turns. One night she gets up - the next night I get up. Then we both at least get some sleep during the week, Worked well.
 
Priapus said:
Are you taking turns in getting up?

The wife and I did that - what we took turns. One night she gets up - the next night I get up. Then we both at least get some sleep during the week, Worked well.
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Not quite. We've been trying different things. Most recently I've been doing bedtime and the dream feed at 10:30 so she can sleep from about 9, if she takes herself off to bed. Then she feeds baby at 2 or 3, although I tend to do the nappy, so in theory she's been asleep for nearly 5 hours by that point. The problem is that from 4 AM baby doesn't want to sleep, so she's feeling rough from there.

Part of the problem is that following years of insomnia, I now just don't wake up in the night, so I have no idea what's happening. My wife doesn't seem to be waking me up either.
 
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Freefaller said:
I've just had to deal with my first oik of a child. My daughter who is in year 3 was playing some friends that she went to the same child minder with and are both in school together. This was after their TKD lesson, and they were mucking around whilst the parents had a bit of a chat. One of the parents invited a neighbour's son who ended up e.ffing and blinding at my daughter for no apparent reason (I'm guessing showing off) after the class. We'd never seen him before, and our friends invited him along to the class to see what it's like.

Queue my daughter coming up to me really upset that she had been sworn at (deep down I'm sad she even knows those words, but I'm not naïve enough to think that she doesn't , but it still is upsetting as we don't swear at home at all, even if we stub our toes it's just not an instinct for us).

The friend who was looking after him didn't really seem to react to it (her son plays with the neighbour so I guess is used to him?) other than say "say sorry". They were playing in the car (a Tesla) and the kid just used the tannoy to say "sorry" in a not very convincing way. I said, "No, come out right here, right now and apologies properly" - there were looks of incredulity from some of the parents (as if I was in the wrong to be upset by it), but I must have said it in such a way that people didn't seem to want to react, the kid came, and to his credit was somewhat petrified (not that I'm intent on scaring children) and apologised. I said to him "do not use language like that at anyone you don't know, and certainly not towards my family...". Kid apologised again and shuffled off, I believed him.

I know many people here will think that's an overreaction, but I find it unacceptable. I hope when our friends drop him back off home that his parents are updated and they do not dismiss that behaviour. I hope it was just a bit of showing off and not how this kid is normally - I'm erring on the side of showing off (his friend (neighbour) was with him so I think it's probably going to be that.)

That said, I doubt the kids will interact with that kid again, maybe I'm over protective, but that's my job as a parent. I feel sorry for any potential boyfriends though :D
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Unfortunately it doesn't get much better, sometimes the parents make it worse by refusing to accept there child can do any wrong.

I'm unfortunately too far the other way with my boy and I'm too quick to blame him, when in fact 9/10 times he's innocent, this is partly through being the football coach for his year and making an example of him so other parents don't accuse me of favouritism (and they have done to the other coaches).

Some kids just pick on others for no reason, however the worst is when there best friend turns on them, honestly so heart breaking. My boy tends to see people in a good light and doesn't see how mean his "best" friend is to him. We had no idea until we took them out for my boys birthday, cinema, arcades and pizza, and this kid was so rude and mean to my boy, final straw was when he called him an embarrassment... I told him off and he turned to me and said it's his opinion and I can't stop him from having an opinion, such a rude little <insert expletive> . Parents were told when dropped him off, they just shrugged it off and said he was probably just tired and didn't mean it.

My boy was actually quite upset, but he still insists on being friends with this kid, and today this means kid lied to the teacher to protect his other mate meaning my boy ended up with detention for 2 days, yet my boy is such a sap he still wants to be friends with him.

Really boils my blood but more the fact my boy is being a simp and I've tried to not raise him like that
 
Does anyone have experience of mixed year classes? Our twins are currently three with another year of preschool to go. The local primary school have now said that they're going to be mixing Reception, Year 1 and 2 into one big group due to lack of numbers.

The Mrs seemed concerned and to be honest, I was already feeling on edge with other things coming from lots of angles and this pushed me into a bit of a spiral last night (I can get obsessive about stuff - recognised what was happening last night and went and had a shower and straight to bed).

We've got a very difficult toddler at the moment (the other one isn't easy, but he's more manageable) and it's really beginning to take a toll on my mental health.
 
sx_turbo said:
Unfortunately it doesn't get much better, sometimes the parents make it worse by refusing to accept there child can do any wrong.

I'm unfortunately too far the other way with my boy and I'm too quick to blame him, when in fact 9/10 times he's innocent, this is partly through being the football coach for his year and making an example of him so other parents don't accuse me of favouritism (and they have done to the other coaches).

Some kids just pick on others for no reason, however the worst is when there best friend turns on them, honestly so heart breaking. My boy tends to see people in a good light and doesn't see how mean his "best" friend is to him. We had no idea until we took them out for my boys birthday, cinema, arcades and pizza, and this kid was so rude and mean to my boy, final straw was when he called him an embarrassment... I told him off and he turned to me and said it's his opinion and I can't stop him from having an opinion, such a rude little <insert expletive> . Parents were told when dropped him off, they just shrugged it off and said he was probably just tired and didn't mean it.

My boy was actually quite upset, but he still insists on being friends with this kid, and today this means kid lied to the teacher to protect his other mate meaning my boy ended up with detention for 2 days, yet my boy is such a sap he still wants to be friends with him.

Really boils my blood but more the fact my boy is being a simp and I've tried to not raise him like that
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What sort of age is this?

I think it's a really important lesson in life not to put up with people who treat you like ****. Some people learn it much too late, to their detriment. But this could be a good opportunity to help him learn it quite early on.
 
RobDogDog said:
Does anyone have experience of mixed year classes? Our twins are currently three with another year of preschool to go. The local primary school have now said that they're going to be mixing Reception, Year 1 and 2 into one big group due to lack of numbers.

The Mrs seemed concerned and to be honest, I was already feeling on edge with other things coming from lots of angles and this pushed me into a bit of a spiral last night (I can get obsessive about stuff - recognised what was happening last night and went and had a shower and straight to bed).

We've got a very difficult toddler at the moment (the other one isn't easy, but he's more manageable) and it's really beginning to take a toll on my mental health.
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Ours are in mixed years due to small class sizes.

Not an issue, if you've got a good teacher they know how to stream two different years and we've never had any issue with it.

What are your concerns? Perhaps I can address them more directly.
 
dl8860 said:
What sort of age is this?

I think it's a really important lesson in life not to put up with people who treat you like ****. Some people learn it much too late, to their detriment. But this could be a good opportunity to help him learn it quite early on.
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He's 8.

Honestly keep trying to say to him, but he insists he's his friend even though this kids constantly means to him.

Doesn't help he so head strong against me and his mother
 
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