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There's some weird arithmetic going on in this thread ($109 versus $100 but FB gets it down to $80 but then new and ... what?)* but we did crib then cot with both of our girls. It worked for us but we knew heaps of people who did one or the other (and a few who did neither) so there's no magical answer.

Also,
Yaayuh! said:

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* no financial judgement, just reads oddly given the fact we're talking about a newborn.

e: I cannot spell 'financial', welp.
 
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We used the same maxi-cosi iora for both our girls and would recommend. Easy enough to disassemble if staying away etc and comes with a carry case to store it in, height adjustable, side comes down and all that jazz.

Both are now using an Ikea Myllra in their rooms and would also recommend, bit of a pita to assemble with one person but doable. 2 sides panels are provided for when they start getting in/out of bed themselves, and the bottom drawer is useful.
 
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We used some bassinet that my sister gave us. We brought new mattress of course but was cheap on amazon. This stayed downstairs in the lounge and was great as we could let him nap while we tried to tidy up. It was easy to move which was key as sometimes we wanted him napping in different spots.

and then we had a next to me crib upstairs by the mums side of the bed. This was until about 6 months old.

Then he want to a crib and has stayed that way.

All items were second hand, just new mattresses on all.

If you know other parents that are ahead of you on their journey, you may find they all have items like this in great order that they haven't realised they need to get rid of yet and happily want it gone
 
2nd hand is the way forward for these bits IMO. Plenty of things available in decent condition that can easily be cleaned and only be used for just a few months before passing on again.

We got rid of all our bits (mostly free to friends and family) after our lad grew up a bit and with another one now on the way we are essentially buying all the same stuff again (sigh). Currently doing the FB market place trawl and picked up a few bargains so far.
 
gort said:
2nd hand is the way forward for these bits IMO. Plenty of things available in decent condition that can easily be cleaned and only be used for just a few months before passing on again.

We got rid of all our bits (mostly free to friends and family) after our lad grew up a bit and with another one now on the way we are essentially buying all the same stuff again (sigh). Currently doing the FB market place trawl and picked up a few bargains so far.
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My thought was to hold onto the stuff, but then I figured we got it so easily, I don't want to store even more rubbish in our loft on the thought we may have another. Just get more if another arrives.
 
I'm finding our 16-month-old's attachment to her mum really hard to deal with. We both are tbh. I'm worried she's turning into a brat as well. We had IVF, so the fact she even exists is unexpected, so maybe we're a bit easy on her, but it's becoming unbearable.

This morning, I got her up. That was nice, she was cute etc. Then she spotted her mum. I took her downstairs to make her a cup of milk and she screamed her head off. Full blown tantrum, crying on the floor etc. She did apologise, or said the words at least, but obviously doesn't connect the two events.

Then I tried to give her breakfast. For some reason it's eggs and (separately) strawberries. Completely refused the egg - spat it on the floor - and only ate the strawberries. So now her breakfast is strawberries? I told my wife she needs to stop appeasing her and giving her bloody strawberries for breakfast.

It's basically getting hard for me to actually do anything with/for her because all she wants is her mum. So mum never gets a break and the child has tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way. Unbearable.

It's also put me into a massively bad mood for the day.
 
dirtychinchilla said:
I'm finding our 16-month-old's attachment to her mum really hard to deal with. We both are tbh. I'm worried she's turning into a brat as well. We had IVF, so the fact she even exists is unexpected, so maybe we're a bit easy on her, but it's becoming unbearable.

This morning, I got her up. That was nice, she was cute etc. Then she spotted her mum. I took her downstairs to make her a cup of milk and she screamed her head off. Full blown tantrum, crying on the floor etc. She did apologise, or said the words at least, but obviously doesn't connect the two events.

Then I tried to give her breakfast. For some reason it's eggs and (separately) strawberries. Completely refused the egg - spat it on the floor - and only ate the strawberries. So now her breakfast is strawberries? I told my wife she needs to stop appeasing her and giving her bloody strawberries for breakfast.

It's basically getting hard for me to actually do anything with/for her because all she wants is her mum. So mum never gets a break and the child has tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way. Unbearable.

It's also put me into a massively bad mood for the day.
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I'm in the exact same position as you right now.

I don't enjoy lots of the time with him because he just tantrums for mum.

One thing I do find is that it only is bad when she's about. So she either gets sent away, or I take him away myself.

Do you go soft plays? The one in town oasis my kid really enjoys. And never stresses over mum when there just me and him.
 
unwashed potato! said:
I'm in the exact same position as you right now.

I don't enjoy lots of the time with him because he just tantrums for mum.

One thing I do find is that it only is bad when she's about. So she either gets sent away, or I take him away myself.

Do you go soft plays? The one in town oasis my kid really enjoys. And never stresses over mum when there just me and him.
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Yeah you're right there - if her mum isn't around it's a lot easier. I often ask my wife to hide at bed time so that she isn't on the hook for putting baby to bed.

I don't go to soft plays. She's only really just learnt to walk in the last month, so they were pretty rubbish. She talks like a two year old though. That's a good idea.

I'm thinking also swimming on Sunday mornings. Not lessons though as they are £££ but just her and I going and playing in the pool. I just find the process of going swimming annoying hah
 
You need to be firm with her. Reward her when she relents. If you continue as you are you will be making a rod for your own back.
 
dirtychinchilla said:
I'm thinking also swimming on Sunday mornings. Not lessons though as they are £££ but just her and I going and playing in the pool. I just find the process of going swimming annoying hah
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9-10am is young kids only at the leisure centre and is usually fairly empty.

dirtychinchilla said:
Yeah you're right there - if her mum isn't around it's a lot easier. I often ask my wife to hide at bed time so that she isn't on the hook for putting baby to bed
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I really recommend try oasis in town, or even the one by Sheerwater though I prefer town. Have been going since he was 6 months and he loves to crawl around. The only downside I can say is that the bigger kids (2/3 year olds) love babies some reason and often follow him around and of course there's the chance of germs.
 
tom_e said:
He was talking about your wife not your daughter ;) :D

It is hard, I have similar with my wife. The calls of "Ice cream!" when she walks in the room after I've just said no and she's like oh go on then :rolleyes:
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Hah! Ours loves chocolate, but it's more that my wife will make her three different dinners.

koolpc said:
You both need to be on the same page. But, I understand as it's not easy...
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No. I don't really deal with many of her meals so the wife gets the brunt of the difficult stuff.

unwashed potato! said:
9-10am is young kids only at the leisure centre and is usually fairly empty.

I really recommend try oasis in town, or even the one by Sheerwater though I prefer town. Have been going since he was 6 months and he loves to crawl around. The only downside I can say is that the bigger kids (2/3 year olds) love babies some reason and often follow him around and of course there's the chance of germs.
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Are you referring to Guildford? I spoke to them earlier and you can go to the teaching pool, which is cool. The Sheerwater one is nice but I would rather have somewhere that's a single depth.

How old is yours?
 
dirtychinchilla said:
It's basically getting hard for me to actually do anything with/for her because all she wants is her mum. So mum never gets a break and the child has tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way. Unbearable.

It's also put me into a massively bad mood for the day.
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This is a really difficult issue to deal with because I may be wrong here but most mums I see that this happens with secretly (or not so secretly) love it. They love the dependence on them vs anyone else. They love the fact that the child is having a meltdown until they comfort them. I'm not saying they love it 100% of the time because they would dearly love a break from it but fundamentally its a display of affection that they and they alone enjoy. One of our friends had the same thing with both her kids and it was largely because as soon as they so much as uttered a sound she would pick them up and soothe them. It was so ridiculous to the point that none of the grandparents could take them at all without her hovering ready to snatch the child back.

Its horrible on the parents that is the other side of it and I would hate it if that was me. Unfortunately, from my limited experience, children are very perceptive and when bad behaviour is rewarded, it continues. I have very strict rules that you don't get pudding or treats if you don't eat your dinner. We don't expect them to eat food they don't like but we also don't allow them to pick and choose what parts of a meal they will eat.

If you think your partner is getting in the way of sorting this out then you either need to sort this out with her or accept that for a while, your daughter might be a bit of a nightmare.
 
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