Haha! We had our two spend the night at their grandparents a little while back. Needless to say, the next day they dropped them off and I could see the smoke from the tyres when they left haha?I'm considering selling one of them at the moment. I think that could work. Problem halved and all that
I just feel like I don't know how to deal with one of them and I'm always aware that I really don't want him to resent me. How can you explain to a three year old that they are being treated differently to their brother because they are different and their behaviour is different. All they see is the simplistic version of "i'm being told off.", "i'm not getting pudding", "they're always telling me off".
You can see it in his face sometimes and it breaks my heart. Hes full of emotions that he doesn't quite know how to deal with but we also need him to do certain things. The world cannot revolve around him when we have his brother to worry about as well. We don't have the time or capacity to deal with just him and indulge his behaviour or address it in the best way always.
OcUK Dadsnet thread
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Something new/different has started to happen this week with our four month old boy, and it's unnerving for me as a father but I'm trying to be pragmatic about it.
It started on Monday, and I was hoping it was a one off but it also happened again today. His mother goes to her gym glasses on Monday and Wednesday, so I have him on my own until she gets back.
On both days, I've come back from work and he's been the happiest little boy, laughing with me initially when his Mum leaves the house. He then shows signs of tiredness, but he's hard to get to sleep for naps unless you take him out in the pram for a walk, which I did on both days.
He's still asleep in the pram when I finish the walk, so I leave him in there in the hallway but today and Monday, he woke up absolutely screaming the house down. He then won't stop crying no matter how much I try to calm him down, feed him or change any wet nappy. When his Mum gets back, he's absolutely fine!
I'm guessing a couple of things are happening? Separation anxiety from his Mum, after all he was physically connected to he for 42 weeks and she's with him all day when I'm in the office.
I find it interesting he's absolutely fine when she leaves, unless he falls asleep and it's almost like this is the trigger? Perhaps he's used to seeing her when he wakes up from the naps during the day.
It started on Monday, and I was hoping it was a one off but it also happened again today. His mother goes to her gym glasses on Monday and Wednesday, so I have him on my own until she gets back.
On both days, I've come back from work and he's been the happiest little boy, laughing with me initially when his Mum leaves the house. He then shows signs of tiredness, but he's hard to get to sleep for naps unless you take him out in the pram for a walk, which I did on both days.
He's still asleep in the pram when I finish the walk, so I leave him in there in the hallway but today and Monday, he woke up absolutely screaming the house down. He then won't stop crying no matter how much I try to calm him down, feed him or change any wet nappy. When his Mum gets back, he's absolutely fine!
I'm guessing a couple of things are happening? Separation anxiety from his Mum, after all he was physically connected to he for 42 weeks and she's with him all day when I'm in the office.
I find it interesting he's absolutely fine when she leaves, unless he falls asleep and it's almost like this is the trigger? Perhaps he's used to seeing her when he wakes up from the naps during the day.
Soldato
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Maybe try keeping a used tshirt of hers near by so you can wear when you try put him back.
I'm curious why you don't move him into whatever bed he has once he's asleep in the pram? I wouldn't recommend keeping them in the pram simply because the material doesn't breath as well and in this weather they will get hot too quickly.
Naps in the pram are OK, but bed time? I think is an issue. Unless I'm mistaken and it isn't his bed time at this point?
It's just a nap, he'll tend to have a nap about 5pm. He's very hard to get to sleep, either the final night sleep or nap, he really fights it. He's in the bedside cot with us at night, although the way he's putting on weight, he'll be 9kgs in a couple of weeks and that's the right limit of the bedside cot.
So we are officially trying for our second child. Our Son turned 4 in May. We’ve had no issues with him. Has slept well since about 6 months. Extremely rare to have tantrums (last one was last year) and he’s generally a good kid.
We are worried the second will be the complete opposite.
Also on a more serious note I have been worried about the age gap there will be. But I don’t think it will be too bad.
We are worried the second will be the complete opposite.
Also on a more serious note I have been worried about the age gap there will be. But I don’t think it will be too bad.
Don't let the first one fool you...So we are officially trying for our second child. Our Son turned 4 in May. We’ve had no issues with him. Has slept well since about 6 months. Extremely rare to have tantrums (last one was last year) and he’s generally a good kid.
We are worried the second will be the complete opposite.
Also on a more serious note I have been worried about the age gap there will be. But I don’t think it will be too bad.
My daughter is apparently the polar opposite as a baby to her half sister.
So we are officially trying for our second child. Our Son turned 4 in May. We’ve had no issues with him. Has slept well since about 6 months. Extremely rare to have tantrums (last one was last year) and he’s generally a good kid.
We are worried the second will be the complete opposite.
Also on a more serious note I have been worried about the age gap there will be. But I don’t think it will be too bad.
Every single one of your friends with young children will be sacrificing goats and praying to the dark gods that your second isn't as easy
Ultimately its a combination of parenting and the childs temperament and constitution. One of ours slept pretty well at the start, the other had horrible gas issues and did not. We've been very lucky that both of ours have generally slept well after the first year or so. Even now, they may stay up until 9pm or later but usually its just them laying in their cot gently chatting or just laying there. Never have any tantrums or refusal to sleep. They go down at ~19:30 and thats that and they know it. All our friends with kids older than 2 with bedtime issues are the ones that have indulged them to the nth degree, don't have a routine or the routine is ******* crazy.
We're thinking about a third but its a hard sell once you have your life back and things are a bit easier. Going back into the trenches doesn't appeal massively despite the fact we would like another.
Every single one of your friends with young children will be sacrificing goats and praying to the dark gods that your second isn't as easy
Ultimately its a combination of parenting and the childs temperament and constitution. One of ours slept pretty well at the start, the other had horrible gas issues and did not. We've been very lucky that both of ours have generally slept well after the first year or so. Even now, they may stay up until 9pm or later but usually its just them laying in their cot gently chatting or just laying there. Never have any tantrums or refusal to sleep. They go down at ~19:30 and thats that and they know it. All our friends with kids older than 2 with bedtime issues are the ones that have indulged them to the nth degree, don't have a routine or the routine is ******* crazy.
We're thinking about a third but its a hard sell once you have your life back and things are a bit easier. Going back into the trenches doesn't appeal massively despite the fact we would like another.
Routine is super important. Ours has had bedtime set at 19:30 since he was 2 and we don’t deviate from it. Sometimes it’s a little after 19:30 by a few mins. We do story time and then it’s bed. He has never given us issues and only recently now he chats to himself (paw patrol missions in his head) for 10 mins and then he is out.
A third is definitely a hard sell; we have already said there is not going to be a third. Two is more than enough for us. But everyone is different. We might change our minds - because we initially said just one. But we’ve realized two is the magic number so to speak and our son needs a sibling.
Yep. My partner is far more lax about it but sleep underpins everything, especially for children. When they are tired they struggle to regulate and emotions are hard to handle. It doesn't benefit anyone. Fine, have the occasional late bedtime when its unavoidable but 90% of the time its avoidable. You just might have to leave something 20 minutes earlier or not stand around making small talk when you should be leaving to go home.
Sleep and decent food are my two non negotiables. Shockingly, our kids sleep well and generally eat well. We've always fed them lots of different types of food and always home cooked dinners. A tired and hungry child is almost never a nice child IMO.
I find there’s also a “point of no return” especially with littlies under 5 for example
Mrs Dog has just phoned in tears saying our four year old has hit the teacher during a transition morning. He's also having speech therapy and the staff had no idea what he was saying which I imagine increased the frustration all around. I think he's probably had a bit of sensory overload and that there's potentially something like autism or ADHD. As much as we've tried to go along with 'he's a four year old', it does increasingly seem like something else is as play.
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Have you tried getting an educational psychology referral? Or is this more of a "first sign something's up" type situation?
There's definitely signs like food avoiding and a lack of impulse control. Waiting to hear what the school say.
That’s understandable. I think all too often some parents want to medicate or diagnose their kids prematurely all too often. Sometimes it can be something simple like being overloaded with the environment.
Our 4 year old son is starting school in September. His new teacher came round for home visit today and I wasn’t sure what to expect as this is not some you we do in my home country (South Africa) but I was pleasantly surprised.
They went through a lot with him and made sure he was ready for the big change. They’re more than confident he will be fine and so are we. He is a very confident kid and makes friends so easily.
They went through a lot with him and made sure he was ready for the big change. They’re more than confident he will be fine and so are we. He is a very confident kid and makes friends so easily.
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Are you concerned about the age gap for you as parents or the kids as siblings?
I think there is a tendency to go to both extremes. Excusing poor behaviour or progress as "hes got X" and on the other hand, an unwillingness to get a child diagnosed because "my child is normal". My brother has 4 kids and it was pretty clear that one of them was colour blind for a long time but they didn't acknowledge it or get him tested until he was like 8. Their daughter was very poor at reading and always tried to avoid it. Turns out she has dyslexia. Again, diagnosed very late despite there being clear signs. Its all quite tricky to unpick.
I'm slightly concerned about one of my boys because his language is a bit behind in my opinion but nursery don't seem to think its a problem until hes 4. I don't want him to struggle more than he has to but I also don't want him to think that he can just choose not to engage on a subject.
Have to say I have never heard of that before.
Yeah, makes sense. Case the joint. Check out the parents and the home environment as well. Its somewhat judgemental but I imagine you can make a lot of accurate assumptions about a kid from a visit to their home with them.