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I didn't drink all day either. I had (most) of the trappings of a normal life, even at the end of my drinking. I worked full time, and wasn't in trouble at work, I had a flat and remained up to date on my rent. I even managed to make some healthy choices and began running and cycling. I would have told you I didn't wake up thinking about a drink either because I didn't wake up desperate for a drink. I did wake up thinking about my hangover though, and worrying about what I said or the night before. I did spend more time than is healthy during the day telling myself I wouldn't drink that day or trying to decide if I would, and if I was what I would have and how much. I would often spend a lot of time trying to work out why I had got more drink than I had intended the night before and what I could do to make sure it didn't happen again. And I haven't even got to the amount of time I spent dealing with the consequences of my drinking. The truth is that I spent far more time than I realised thinking about drinking, I just couldn't or wouldn't see it became I needed to believe that I didn't spend all my time thinking about drinking so I developed a narrow view of what thinking about drinking meant and a very selective memory. Test the theory for yourself; grab a notebook or use your phone and make a conscious effort to record every time you catch yourself thinking about alcohol or drinking in any context. Perhaps you'll discover you're nothing like me. Perhaps not. Either way it'll be enlightening.
I think you missed the crucial point of my post above. The only time I was successful in my attempts to stop drinking was when I actively sought to develop the tools and coping mechanisms BEFORE the something that would usually be a trigger happens. It's too late by then. If you don't have other strategies in place my experience is that you'll return to your default method of dealing with those somethings. Those triggers are a chance to test those strategies, not learn them in my opinion. It's why I need to keep developing my tools and coping mechanisms every day. So they're there and as effective as possible when I need them. Almost everyone I knowable has successfully out down the bottle says the same. Sobriety is an active process and hoping your mood will continue to improve without doing anything to make that happen is likely both something you've tried before (without success of you're drinking again despite wishing to stop) and is therefore likely to fail again. Einstein said insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If you've changed nlthong, nothing will change.
Hope you're doing ok mate
