Once a cheater always a cheater?

Cosimo · 15 Apr 2008 at 12:57

Who knows, some people change others don’t.

Mat · 15 Apr 2008 at 13:16

Murf said:
How can you possibly know that?

False. People who have cheated I'd guess are more likely to cheat again, but to presume that every single person on the planet who has cheated is unable to become faithful is absurd.

Spot on. The OP is such a broad generalization as to make it a useless question to be honest. There is no way that it can be answered with anything approaching accuracy.

Dugganator · 15 Apr 2008 at 13:18

Once someone has cheated the trust has gone. I would think thou someone who has cheated once before is more likely to cheat again (With the mind set of its easier the second time). This of course doesnt always work because some people can change but if you have already done it before I would think it could happen again. I just wish more people would learn for there mistakes everyone would be happier that way

gjrc · 15 Apr 2008 at 13:21

false.

gilly mentioned mindset, a marriage or a girl you want to marry can change your mind set.

just because you have done it before doesn't mean you will always do it again.

/edit are we talking about the same relationship here? or just in general?

Dugganator · 15 Apr 2008 at 13:24

The OP doesnt explain much I'm guessing generally

Cavallino · 15 Apr 2008 at 13:29

Depends on circumstances.

LoadsaMoney · 15 Apr 2008 at 13:34

Its true.

Totality · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:26

Von Luck said:
False. They can't cheat again if they're dead.

Edit: if by some bizarre series of horrible co-incidences, any police officers are thinking of using this as evidence in a murder investigation at some point in the future, I was joking, honest!

LOL!! That just made me laugh out loud which I dont normally do when reading a forum. Suppose its just my sense of humour

My ex told me a few weeks into our relationship that she was still seeing her supposed "ex" but preferred me so wanted to make sure I liked her before letting go. I stupidly thought it was OK so cue 8 months of happiness then 4 months of hell as I found out she was cheating on me with someone else but claiming not to be all the time.

I thought I was being paranoid, she claimed I was being paranoid, my friends said I was being stupid and it was obvious and then I spoke to the guy and it was true. Karma I suppose biting me in the rear for letting her get away with cheating in the first place. It since transpires that she has cheated on every boyfriend she has ever had so is extremely insecure.

Havent spoken to her since since I threatened her with a restraining order but kinda feel sorry for her in a way now I've stopped hating her!

4T5 · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:31

No not at all.
My relationships are Deep & I Never cheat, On the other hand when i am not in a Serious relationship i sleep with whoever is up for it that i find sexually attractive. When i fall in Love again i will Happily only sleep with my woman.

Pac3y · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:46

I've cheated numerous times. I just don't feel the guilt! But I'd nail anything really, even a roll of fat.

nikebee · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:47

Lysander said:
True. Speaking from experience.

False, speaking from experience.

You cannot say somebody will or will not do something over and over again based on one example.

Whether they will or they wont, depends entirely on the person and whether they learned anything from the experience (if they didn't get caught they may continue to cheat, if they did and the relationship ends they may never cheat in a relationship again out of fear of losing someone.)

SexyGreyFox · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:48

False.
I cheated on my girlfriend a few times but when I got married I've never even thought about it.
Oh, and that was 28 years ago.

Solari · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:49

True, unless you handcuff them to a radiator in a cellar for the rest of the relationship

PCDave · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:49

if you've cheated in the past then you have "cheated" and therefore are and will forever be a cheater whether you change your ways or not

Skeptic · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:50

False. Cheater until you meet the 'one' - why look elsewhere when you have what you are looking for? True for me at least.

nikebee · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:52

PCDave said:
if you've cheated in the past then you have "cheated" and therefore are and will forever be a cheater whether you change your ways or not

I don't think it's as black and white as that really.

Surely as long as the person you are with is faithful to you, it doesn't matter what they did 10, 20, 30 odd years ago?

PCDave · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:54

nikebee said:
I don't think it's as black and white as that really.

Surely as long as the person you are with is faithful to you, it doesn't matter what they did 10, 20, 30 odd years ago?

true but if someone close to you finds out say a wife or girlfriend wont it always be in the back of her mind if the cheater is away for the weekend or something regardless of how close they are whether the wife or gf is open about it or not.....

Tom0 · 15 Apr 2008 at 22:58

True!

drunkenmaster · 15 Apr 2008 at 23:01

Freefaller said:
Agreed.

Someone could have made a genuine mistake and completely changed his ways, outlook and behaviour, it also depends on the situation, the person, the new person met, the relationship, everything. A lot of factors to take into account.

However some people will cheat end of, they like the excitement.

no, its bull, complete bull.

These theories of blaming the cheater are all basing it on being the cheaters fault

this is not always, and not even that often the case.

Yes its their fault to actually go out and do it, but say someones married for 10 years and the wife(or husband) turns into a total ass for whatever reason, years of misery completely the other persons fault, then the other one finds some happyness with someone else. That way around the "non" cheater has to change, if they do it can be back and completely happy and fine.

THe thing here though is in general, if someone cheated, probably BOTH people in the relationship have to change something to be happy again.

Its actually fairly rare for someone to find a person they really like, be happy and go and cheat while they are really happy. People cheat when something in the relationship sucks but attachment and lack of wanting change make them stay but cheat.

nikebee · 15 Apr 2008 at 23:03

PCDave said:
true but if someone close to you finds out say a wife or girlfriend wont it always be in the back of her mind if the cheater is away for the weekend or something regardless of how close they are whether the wife or gf is open about it or not.....

I'd say that would entirely depend on how long ago they cheated, and to what extent they did it.

I mean if somebody had a one night stand when they were 22 in a 4 year long relationship. But are now 40 and going away for the weekend, then I don't think the other person would be that bothered.

If they had a full blown affair and ran away with another man/women. Then you'd be a little more skeptical and certainly a lot more worried that weekend!

Personally, I'm always worrying that something is going on behind my back but I know deep down that nothing is.

I suppose it's because when I was younger I cheated on a girlfriend, and about 4-5 years ago before I got together with my current girlfriend... One of my best friends was cheating on her boyfriend with me.

I know my other half wouldn't cheat on me, but my own experiences lead me to constantly be paranoid about these things... which is quite **** to be honest