Having just read this thread and the tragic thread about your wife I really wasn't sure what to say.
I often think life is some sort of test.
I can relate to you. I too have Bipolar 2, and I am autistic. Well, "High functioning" apparently. Sometime I wonder why they call it that, because I can't do anything. Apparently the bipolar is a "co morbidity" that autistic people often have.
Like you my life has been very hard. My father died when I was 7, I got ran over by a car a year later and spent 3 months in hospital (two broken legs, lots of skin loss and burns, broken arm, fractured skull etc) but I made it. I have had two large hernias (the latter life threatening as the hospital forgot about me and it ruptured) serious back problems and god knows what else.
Sometimes I wonder how or why I am still here, but then on days I do feel like there is a purpose to all of it. I suppose life to me is a fight, and it's the only thing I really compete in and fight for.
I have been on quite heavy medication for the past 12 years. Again sometimes I hate it, but then I remember how chaotic life used to be without it.
Keep fighting man.