Paying a compliment apparently a bad thing..?

TriedandTested

TriedandTested

TriedandTested

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Hmm. Seems i may have managed to mess up a potentially great friendship!

What do you think?

Went out for drinks with great girl from work and thought it would be nice to pay her a compliment (along the lines of how nice she looked) and made hints at possibly doing something again sometime. What was i thinking?!?!:rolleyes::eek: Clearly that was a mistake, and she hasn't been anywhere near as fun and friendly as she has been in recent weeks and to be honest I know I've misread the situation and basically want a bit of advice on how to repair the 'damage' i seem to have done.

A work colleague mentioned that she's really fond of me (told me after my dreaded mistake!) so I would hate to think I've put her in a position where she now feels she's got to distance herself. I'm gutted as we've been getting on SO well, really have a lot in common; same sense of humour, music taste..everything (hence the misunderstanding when she agreed to go out for a drink!).

No doubt i should catch her, explain the misunderstanding and say i hope things can be how they were before my disgusting outburst!! Perhaps make a little joke of it? That the best option you think? I really want to nip this in the bud and get back on track with her.

Genuine help only please guys and gals.:)
 
Is it;

So she likes you
You pay complament (and ask for more?)
She backs off as she thinks you like her

Or am i confused?
 
I'd say it sounds like you've suprised her and shes a little shocked or either she isnt interested at all or maybe really quite shy, I guess you can't deny that you feel you've kind of put it out there that you like her company, maybe calm down a bit and wait and see if she returns the sentiment?

Hard to read what she thinks on just knowing she "distanced herself".
 
I thought she liked me, i like her. I paid her a compliment and indicated i'd like to do it again. She's been a bit 'off' since then. I misread it. Or at least i think i have - once she'd had a couple of drinks on a group night out she was all fun/chatty and wanted to be around me. She is a bit younger than me if that makes any difference, and she does seem quite shy sometimes - not around me though.
 
Maybe make a joke out of it, but if you just ease off and act unruffled, she will surely be lured in by your smooth attitude ? :p
 
ryder said:
Maybe make a joke out of it, but if you just ease off and act unruffled, she will surely be lured in by your smooth attitude ? :p
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:cool: that's me.;) In hindsight I think that's party why we got on so well. Really well. I'm pretty laid back most of the time, and like to think i'm very easy to get on with and to relax around.
 
Yeah the thread wasn't needed tbh, you don't have a probelm. Maybe Ben does however that post was weak ;)
 
TriedandTested said:
No doubt i should catch her, explain the misunderstanding and say i hope things can be how they were before my disgusting outburst!! Perhaps make a little joke of it? That the best option you think? I really want to nip this in the bud and get back on track with her.
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noooo - don't do that IMO - if there was some awkwardness with what you said then that could potentially compound it by brining it up again

I mean what are you going to say to her - "erm you know when I said you looked nice erm I didn't mean it... well I did mean it you do look nice erm but I don't want you to think that I erm etc..etc.."

I'd say just go and have a bit of general banter with her, forget about the comment and get her out for drinks again - so long as she views you as fun and confident then you'll have no problems.
 
I do that sometimes. Try to pay a female a genuine compliment by saying that they look nice or they have a pretty top on or something.. But they instantly assume that I want to sleep with them. The fact that I'm in a rock solid relationship and have been for over one and a half years doesn't seem to change that fact either. :rolleyes:

But if you do go and apologise, make sure you keep your cool. Be jokey and be cool, if you can make her laugh, then that is good as well.

But STAY cool. Good luck. :cool:
 
naffa said:
I do that sometimes. Try to pay a female a genuine compliment by saying that they look nice or they have a pretty top on or something.. But they instantly assume that I want to sleep with them. The fact that I'm in a rock solid relationship and have been for over one and a half years doesn't seem to change that fact either. :rolleyes:

But if you do go and apologise, make sure you keep your cool. Be jokey and be cool, if you can make her laugh, then that is good as well.

But STAY cool. Good luck. :cool:
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So wait, she really likes you (as a friend), but you said something to make her think you like her as more than a friend and she's misread the situation?

Seriously, just act aloof. Don't bring up that conversation where you said she looked nice etc....but just act yourself again.

Oh, and don't try and hit on her again :p

naffa said:
Whoops... What on Earth have I done here. :/
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Quoted yourself.........some how?! :p
 
Don't apologise, that isn't alpha. If you do (which makes you beta at best) say "I was lieing, you looked like ****, you always do"
 
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