People who pass wind in public like it's a life achievement?

[Gerard]

today I have learned the phrase 'crop dusting'

Use it well my son.

 

[pinkpound]

It's all fun and games until you do a wet one

 

[adam cool dude]

It's all fun and games until you do a wet one

 

[JBuk]

Standing in the queue to pay at a buffet restaurant last night and I let go a much needed guff , it was quiet but stunk so bad , when I got outside my wife asked me quietly if I had smelled something , I nodded and said something along the lines of “some people are disgusting aren’t they?” , she nodded back whilst I managed a quick smirk

 

[UTmaniac]

Was this thread inspired by Divine Wind becoming a mod?

I've no idea, but it was the inspiration for National Express in the YouTube thread the other day.

 

[Diddums]

When I worked as a plumber at JP Morgan the bankers used to treat all of us with utter contempt, like we were the necessary scum required to keep their dodgy banking afloat. They wouldn't even greet us in the mornings and would just blank us (not all of them obvs, but most). The lifts went from the basement to the top of the building. I used to get in the lift to go to the workshop in the basement, drop the occasional doozy and then press every floor's button when i got out.

In 2008 their entire world collapsed though, that was a lot more fun than the occasional crop dusting.

 

[cheesefest]

My ex farted in bed as kept the bed warm. He seemed to let off the stinky ones there

 

[jellybeard999]

 

[arknor]

Guy farting int o a supermarket speaker seems fake or his fart sounds exactly the same every time.

I take omeprazole so my farts absolute can clear a room, I have to be discreet about it and pretend it wasn't me.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

I can guarantee if we were in a room and a fart crept out it wouldn't be me because when I'm ready to fart I'm ready to poop.
I am not Craig in Malevolences story although I have gigged in both pubs.

 

[Parky]

We had a guy that was the full package back when we were still working in the office. A very loud, sloppy eater that made grunting noises as he ate, but he also used to let rip without a care in the world. He could be engaged in conversation with somebody and mid sentence.................. pause and let one out. It became really difficult to keep straight faces, you'd hear the parp and see everybody's heads lift from their work, we'd need to escape to the break room to have a chuckle. I think he got pulled up on it a few times though from people complaining, I know he had apparently leant over a table talking to somebody one time and guffed right in the face of the girl next to him

We swear he sharted one day, he entered the room and on the way to his desk let out a really nasty wet sounding one, stopped mid stride for a moment to assess the situation, then promptly left out the other door towards the toilets for an extended period of time.

 

[DXP55]

My ex farted in bed as kept the bed warm. He seemed to let off the stinky ones there

Women are the worst.
I was in full flow one night and she blew my danglers off - Don't tell me no other woman has done that.

Found this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnd-q1aBb60

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Women are the worst.
I was in full flow one night and she blew my danglers off - Don't tell me no other woman has done that.

This is the 100% truth, I've been with my woman since 1974 and I have never known her to fart, not even during two pregnancies.
I have only known her to have a number two about 3 times.

 

[potatolord]

When I worked as a postie one of the chaps in the sorting office was notorious for terribly smelly farts- they were eye- watering.

Someone put in a formal complaint about it and he got a warning!