Phobias

Class 04 said:
My phobia is dying in a transport related accident, whether it be plane, boat, car or train.
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Sorry but you don't have a phobia.
If you had a phobia you wouldn't be able to talk about it, write about it or think about it.
You would have panic attacks just thinking about it and just thinking about it would ruin your whole day.
You certainly wouldn't be able to get in a car again.
My eldest daughter was diagnosed with a phobia and it took 18 months of Psychiatric treatment to cure her.
She was about 16 when we decided something had to be done because it was ruining her life.
What you have is a fear.
 
I don't know if you have but the first thing is to let all of your family and friends know how you are feeling. Sometimes just admitting and talking these things through with people can really help.

Have you got a trusted friend or family member with a car who could take you out for a small drive, even if it's just around the block and start to build up?

Small step is the key, you will undoubtedly feel fear but you must step back from it and realise it is simply a feeling and not something tangible that can harm you. Feeling a few seconds or minutes of fear in a situation your not comfortable with and then going back to where you feel save and reflecting positively on what you have just done is the key.

Your brain is only trying to look after you by stopping you doing the thing that got you into harm. But now it's time to show your brain that your OK in those situations again and to leave you be to get on.

It might feel like a million miles away but being cured is truly closer than you think, it's such a fine line in the brain and thats how phobias are so easy to develop. But just as they are easy to develop they are also easy to loose.

Find someone you can work this through with and are able to go for a drink after and laugh about it all. Good luck to you man
 
markyp23 said:
By the way are we talking a 90mph => 0mph collision or a 45mph=><=45mph collision?

What were the circumstances surrounding it?
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Just me driving; hit the central reservation. I only know I was going about 90 because thats the speed I normally drive when no one is on the road, which is what it was like at 10pm on the M27 on a Sunday night.... As no other cars were involved, there was no investigation by police etc. Many people ask me if I fell asleep, but I can almost gurantee I did not, as I always stop and get out if I feel fatigued. I still personally believe it might have been a blowup; the left tyre was abnormally screwed, and i had noticed it was a little low in pressure that day.

DmPoole, that may be true, but the 'fear' can often interupt my day, give me panic attacks and cause undesirable problems. Even writing about it does make me quiver, but I am trying to do something about it, which is why I am writing....

Thanks Mookjong. The weird thing about the way I feel is not so much that I believe my brain is tricking me (which I know it is), but more than I am now risk averse. I know, on a plane, I am generally speaking very safe, but its more dangerous than sitting in my chair at home. Thats the problem. It ends up changing your behaviour pattern which while a shame, is nevertheless a somehwat objective decision, however execessive it might be in its safety.
 
markyp23 said:
Sorry you don't know what a phobia is; that or you don't understand there is a thing that lies between one extreme and the other.
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MookJong said:
Utter guff
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I sat through hours + hours + hours + hours + hours of psychiatry with my daughter.
Not utter guff.
If he thinks he's got a phobia he can go and get diagnosed but according to what the psyches told us if you can talk about it, think about it, write about it then you haven't got a phobia.
 
Class 04 said:
DmPoole, that may be true, but the 'fear' can often interupt my day, give me panic attacks and cause undesirable problems. Even writing about it does make me quiver, but I am trying to do something about it, which is why I am writing....
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Could be then but I would still advise you get a proper diagnosis.
Too many people call a fear a phobia.
My daughter would vomit/cry/panic attack just at the sound of one word and if she saw the thing that gave her a phobia it would be worse.
It took 18 months of hell to get her through it but it worked and now the thing doesn't bother her one bit.
 
Believe it or not, i have a phobia of sponge/foam. Thinking about the stuff makes me shudder and touching the stuff just makes me shake and feel violently sick. Weird i know....

Have to wash the car with a wash mitt :D
 
DM, from what I understand there are different levels of phobia.

So what you said was partly right, but also partly wrong.

Many people have mild phobias to things and some have severe phobias. It's unfortunate that your daughter had a severe phobia, but from what you said then it's a lot better than it was :)

I have arachnaphobia and claustraphobia, but neither to a severe level so I can deal with it. This doesn't mean that I don't lock up when I face either of these things but I can talk about them (and often call myself enough names to deal with it).

I'd be quite insulted if you decided I had neither of these phobias just because I can be pragmatic enough to myself to force myself past them when I need to.
 
dmpoole said:
I sat through hours + hours + hours + hours + hours of psychiatry with my daughter.
Not utter guff.
If he thinks he's got a phobia he can go and get diagnosed but according to what the psyches told us if you can talk about it, think about it, write about it then you haven't got a phobia.
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Please go away, I don't care what the word is. I have explained how I feel and am after advice, and the last thing i want to do is pay lots of money. Take your pointless knowledge elsewhere.
 
Class 04 said:
Thanks Mookjong. The weird thing about the way I feel is not so much that I believe my brain is tricking me (which I know it is), but more than I am now risk averse. I know, on a plane, I am generally speaking very safe, but its more dangerous than sitting in my chair at home. Thats the problem. It ends up changing your behaviour pattern which while a shame, is nevertheless a somehwat objective decision, however execessive it might be in its safety.
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Some of it is conscious and some is subconscious, but remember that your thoughts are not YOU. If you were able to switch your thoughts off or forget that you had this phobia you would get in a car and be on your way.

As I said earlier you must learn to step back from the "voice in your head" that is thinking and showing you a million and one bad things that might happen. You should look subjectively at these thoughts and feelings when they appear and label them "Ahh wait this is just my phobia again" Do not invest any emotional effort in it, just simply identify the behaviour, label it and then change your train of thought to something else.

You will begin to realise your phobia is not you, you sit behind it as something much more powefull and your not going to be carried away by some silly thoughts....Gradually with you investing so little time on it the phobia will simply run out of fuel and have no option but to fade and die.
 
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Class 04 said:
I should have guessed with 29 responses in such a short time that not all of them would be serious.... :)

My phobia is dying in a transport related accident, whether it be plane, boat, car or train.

I had a really bad car crash at 90mph two years ago and have not really gotten over it. I experienced the, 'it can happen to you' idea and so even if things are statistically unlikely, I now worry, 'it could happen to me again'....
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That's not a phobia in the traditional sense. It's more a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Which is quite understandable in your circumstance.

Frankly, you should seek the help of a psychiatrist. Something such as this would generally be dealt with through a relatively prolonged period of counseling, with a fairly high success rate. I'm afraid simply reading a book won't cut it in this case.

The good news is that it's a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist that you will need to see (unless your "phobia" spills out to other psychiatric conditions), so you don't need to go through your GP. Just check in the phone book / online for local psychiatrists and make an appointment. Don't neccesarily jump in with the first one you come across, go for someone you feel comfortable with.
 
No sympathy here, you deserve everything you got! You were breaking the law by speeding and were lucky not to kill yourself and/or some innocent member of the public! Chalk it up to being an idiot and suck it up!
 
dmpoole said:
I sat through hours + hours + hours + hours + hours of psychiatry with my daughter.
Not utter guff.
If he thinks he's got a phobia he can go and get diagnosed but according to what the psyches told us if you can talk about it, think about it, write about it then you haven't got a phobia.
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psychiatrists talk a load of ****, only trust psychologists. A phobia is an irrational fear of something, you can still talk about it.
Duff-Man said:
That's not a phobia in the traditional sense. It's more a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Which is quite understandable in your circumstance.
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hmm, could it not just be classed as fear? as he does not have what imo is an irrational response.
 
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dmpoole said:
Sorry but you don't have a phobia.
If you had a phobia you wouldn't be able to talk about it, write about it or think about it.
You would have panic attacks just thinking about it and just thinking about it would ruin your whole day.
You certainly wouldn't be able to get in a car again.
My eldest daughter was diagnosed with a phobia and it took 18 months of Psychiatric treatment to cure her.
She was about 16 when we decided something had to be done because it was ruining her life.
What you have is a fear.
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Wow... Someone clearly has a phobia of talking sence...
 
As with all aspects of psychology, conditions have a sliding scale rather than an 'on/off switch' or 'the two extremes'.

Nonetheless, this thread is not about debating interpretations of a word but a request for advice on overcoming an issue.

My advice would be to book a meeting with a counsellor- this person will be an annonymous yet serious vent for your currently stifled fears. Being able to talk about it like you have in this thread is very encouraging, and the more you begin to understand the relationship to your phobia, the quicker you will be able to start addressing how you will deal with it :)

There are no quick solutions but there are easier routes to take than "sticking it out" etc.

Good luck & my email is in trust if you wish to contact me regarding further information :)
 
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