Picking yourself up when you've hit rock bottom

(un)fortunately I'm only a trainee so I don't even have the paycheque to keep me going. Hell, I'd imagine the £1500 at the end of the month would keep me going no end.

Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone.


Out of interest, has anyone been feeling in a similar state of mind to me and been able to shake it? If so, how'd you do it?
I have been in similar situation, there are several different ways to deal with it. I would go and see your GP he will be able to offer anti-depressents and therapist (probably a long wait for therapy though and anti-depressants take a 4 weeks to work). If it was me, leaving the course would be the last thing i'd do despite knowing teaching isn't for you the qualification will be useful for future job applications. In my situation I had to leave uni as it was the only option left. Might be a good idea to talk to your PGCE tutor as i'm sure others have been in a similar situation.
 
As I have got older I have met more foriegn people through work some have wives who are teaching assistant and it seems to be worse in UK. We just seem to have lost some of our children even at 5 years old.

I don't think it's all the school's fault.

1. Kids today are exposed to much, much more than they were in years gone by. this includes some good things, and a lot of bad things.

2. The government wants BOTH parents back in work as soon as possible after having a child. This means children are now in full-time nursery school from as young as 6 MONTHS OLD! This is sick!

3. Modern parenting needs to take a lot of the blame. Parents with careers (most of them today) are content to stick their kids on the Wii or in front of the telly and get on with their own lives.

It's a combination of factors that is making this problem grow and grow.
 
OP you are in a **** position, please believe me when I say I have incredibly empathy and understanding in my own way.

Its a question of either being in control of yourself or not (in which case you need to go down the route of drugs, not something I would recommend).

What will any employer say when they see you left 7 weeks early?

Its tough to be practical when its so personal, I do understand,.
 
The amount of times i've gone "Jesus, I can't do this i'm going to drop out" but you've gotta work through it. I didn't think I could, but when I look at people who drop out and how crap their life now is I think, bugger that, I want a mortgage one day, I don't want to be like my parents were, struggling to pay for everything because their jobs were mediocre at best.

What I do when I'm really stressed out, want to chuck everything in. I go out and get blind drunk, blow off steam.
 
Go and see your gp and get pescribed some anti depessants.
They won't provide an instant fix - but you spirits may pick up once you have taken the initiative to do something.

Do you do any exercise at the moment? That can really help - I got quite stressed out in my last job and found just going for a half hour walk every lunch made a massive difference.
 
I qualified in July 2007 via the GTP. I work in an Ofsted 'Outstanding' school and did my training there also. I knew the school, the people and had a lot of support from both my faculty leader and the CPD/trainee co-ordinator amongst others. It was still bloody hard!

I started on 10 lessons a week (should have been 0), for which I was solely responsible and my first day was 5 lessons, 4 of which Year 11 and 1 totally mental group of year 7s. I remember finishing lesson 3, red-hot, wet through with sweat questioning what the hell I'd done. I had to combat the 'but you're an ICT technician', along with the fact no-one at the school had taught the course we were teaching before so it was feeling in the dark.

But as the weeks go on, it does get easier. It sounds like you're in a school where support is low on the ground in your faculty - who is in charge of trainee or NQT provision in school? Are they any good? They have a responsibility to support you, as do your university.

Just remember, there's not a teacher out there who doesn't struggle during training or in the first year, even when moving to a new school. You will be pushed and pulled all over - but you learn, you relax, you build relationships that make life easier.

One that always sticks in my head is a boy who was a total pain in Year 9 - I discovered he was a Chelsea fan, dropped the odd comment and he slowly came round. Daft stuff like that can be pivotal.

Add me on MSN:
 
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I don't think it's all the school's fault.

1. Kids today are exposed to much, much more than they were in years gone by. this includes some good things, and a lot of bad things.

2. The government wants BOTH parents back in work as soon as possible after having a child. This means children are now in full-time nursery school from as young as 6 MONTHS OLD! This is sick!

3. Modern parenting needs to take a lot of the blame. Parents with careers (most of them today) are content to stick their kids on the Wii or in front of the telly and get on with their own lives.

It's a combination of factors that is making this problem grow and grow.


oh yes I agree, it was a poor choice of words by myself. My school it's self wasn't bad, the community it served well... thats a different story.
 
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I wouldn't fancy trying to teach a class of kids who don't give a fig.

I hope you can stick it out for seven weeks for the sake of your career (teaching or otherwise) but don't let it get to the point where the stress is too much. Talk to your GP, you don't have to even think about taking anti-depressants, but getting it off of your chest and having some one who can advise you can make a world of difference.

It can be hard to recognise the effect stress is having until it's too late. I can now recognise when stress is leading to anxiety and depression and try and act to deal with it before I hit rock bottom. I have also been in the situation where I didn't know how to deal with and felt I couldn't talk about it, even to my wife, and I have no desire to go through those days again.

The fact you recognise the problem and the root cause gives you the chance to tackle it. It's easy for people to say 'battle on' and the like but only do it if you can equip yourself properly. If it gets too much remember your health and happiness is more important in the long run.
 
My tip would be focus on something else, something in the future you'd like to do or achieve. Helps to keep everything in perspective. I know people who joined the ramblers (don't laugh, I did too!) or set the goal to run a marathon. Just a fun challenge that gets you away from the daily routine...hope it helps :) Try to be around and involved with other people though.

I would agree with this - I'm currently taking a degree in IT which I hate, really cant stand it. You have to focus on something else other than this.

Perfect example, I have a placement year next year - a whole year of doing something I hate, working in a horrible office fixing pc problems - but Ive already planned that I'm going to take night classes in horticulture. I am also gonna take up running simply to take my mind off things.

My reasons for hating IT so much now are the people that I have to surround myself with and Im trying to expand my horizons with horticulture, I feel that I will meet more likeminded people like me.

The way I see it is that I didn't quit after my first year like I should have (I'm just finishing second year) and I feel that I'm too far through to quit - I also think that even if I am sick of studying IT, its a backup solution if my future plans don't work out. When I finish uni totally I want to take up horticulture but if it doesn't work out then I can go back I guess.
I hope this helps!
 
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I'm actually teaching more lessons than my other department teachers...

Over the entirity of my time I've been on this placement I've been quite majorly depressed as I've been getting very little support from the department I'm in and I'm basically left to fend for myself all the time....

I've hit a point where I don't feel like I can continue to be a teacher...

I'm constantly feeling depressed, feeling like I'm a failure, feeling like I can't go on with it all. I want to continue, I want to finish the course, prove I can do it but with how I feel and my mental state I can't see a way of getting through. Part of me wants to jack it all in, be done with it and start a new life. Part of me says 'get to the end, it's 7 weeks away' but I feel like I can't make it to that point, that my mind and body are going to give up on me at this point...

You're describing typical symptoms of being burned out with your job. Google it and see if you relate to it any more. You need to talk to someone about it, I know you feel like you're lacking support, but there must be someone in the school who you can go to, even if just a colleague. You need to express this properly in order to stop this snowballing. Either that or you quit the job if you really feel it isn't for you.

Whatever happens, the most important thing is that you need to take some time off, a few days at least. You can't work effectively when your head is feeling rubbish, I know exactly how that feels at work and it's horrible. Take some time off dude, and talk to someone at work.
 
Go and see your gp and get pescribed some anti depessants.
Don't rush into this, I've been on SSRI's, TCA's, NRI's and 3 different anti psychotics over the years since I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder. None of them worked and all brought some horrible side effects.

Since i've been off the drugs, things are much easier, i've learn to express myself a bit better and as such find myself a much more chilled out person these days. I don't let it knock me on my arse in the bad hours like I used to.

You've just got to adapt and find what works for you, but from experience I say drugs should be a last resort.
 
Just suck it up and power through.

Going through crap at work myself atm and the only thing to do is keep your head up and do what you do best. I find the gym after work helps me take out my frustrations, or copious amounts of vodka :p :D
 
I lack the ability to be angry and handle those difficult situations in the classroom

There were 2 really good teachers in my secondary school, I never once saw them get angry and they were given the troublesome classes.

Don't think you have to get angry, it's much more productive to either get the child involved in working (the hard option) or to get them out of the classroom.

Use your authority, but don't raise your voice above a lecture like level, if you can't get a protagonist under control by telling them to work, send them to the corridor for the lesson. You are fortunate enough to have one of the only fun classes, so they will probably learn if you kick them out.

As for mass disobedience; standing in silence expectantly sometimes works. One of the 2 really good teachers I mentioned would just hit the circuit breaker for the PCs.


Edit:
Oh and the answer is chocolate.
 
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There were 2 really good teachers in my secondary school, I never once saw them get angry and they were given the troublesome classes.

Don't think you have to get angry, it's much more productive to either get the child involved in working (the hard option) or to get them out of the classroom.

Use your authority, but don't raise your voice above a lecture like level, if you can't get a protagonist under control by telling them to work, send them to the corridor for the lesson. You are fortunate enough to have one of the only fun classes, so they will probably learn if you kick them out.

As for mass disobedience; standing in silence expectantly sometimes works. One of the 2 really good teachers I mentioned would just hit the circuit breaker for the PCs.


Edit:
Oh and the answer is chocolate.

Thats good advice. When I was in secondary school the whole ICT thing was just emerging as a proper GCSE and my school spent a fortune on the latest tech + teachers for it, gaining technology college status. We had a lot of awfully behaved students and our teachers dealt with them by disabling all their internet access and then getting a letter sent out for repeat offenders parents to have a look at. Never raised his voice, just counted to 3 and when he finished counting, if you where still being a **** you got removed from the lesson.

Most kids in school act up to look "hard" or cool to their mates or "prospective future girlfriendss" and ignoring them often does the trick from what I've seen.
 
(un)fortunately I'm only a trainee so I don't even have the paycheque to keep me going. Hell, I'd imagine the £1500 at the end of the month would keep me going no end.

Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone.


Out of interest, has anyone been feeling in a similar state of mind to me and been able to shake it? If so, how'd you do it?

Yeah I have been in the same place you have been last year. My final year at uni doing Medical Biochemistry and I was having so many family problems, all my friends had graduated 2 years ahead of me as I had to defer my final exams 2 years in a row. I felt the same way you do right now, felt like a loser, seeing everyone else I knew continuing on with their lives and I was stuck in the same place. Everyone was telling me to go see the GP take antidepressants but I never listened knowing full well what kind of side effects and withdrawal symptoms SSRI's can have.

I made a choice. I had already put a lot of effort, money and time into the course so I said **** it all and carried on with it. I'm glad I stuck with it now, my family had my back every step of the way and I couldn't have done it without them. I would say that you should definitely finish the course, don't waste the time you have already spent doing the course so far. Get some exercise, go for a run, the chemicals released by exercise will help lift your mood naturally. I know simple exercise did wonders for my mood when I felt low, don't get sucked into the antidepressant route as the withdrawals effects can be awful (I have witnessed them for myself).

Reading this has seriously put me off going for my PGCE to become a Science teacher. You only have 7 weeks remaining. You can do it, you will be so glad you finished trust me on that. Once you have your qualification, stick 2 fingers up to teaching and go on holiday LOL. When you come back then figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life...this is the stage I am at right now...trying to figure out which way I want to go in life. Feel free to email me or add me on msn if you wanna chat.
 
There were 2 really good teachers in my secondary school, I never once saw them get angry and they were given the troublesome classes.

Don't think you have to get angry, it's much more productive to either get the child involved in working (the hard option) or to get them out of the classroom.

Use your authority, but don't raise your voice above a lecture like level, if you can't get a protagonist under control by telling them to work, send them to the corridor for the lesson. You are fortunate enough to have one of the only fun classes, so they will probably learn if you kick them out.

As for mass disobedience; standing in silence expectantly sometimes works. One of the 2 really good teachers I mentioned would just hit the circuit breaker for the PCs.


Edit:
Oh and the answer is chocolate.

Can't always kick them out. We're not allowed to just leave kids in a corridor. We'd be a world of **** if said kid hurt themselves somehow. Isolation with a HoF/Y or 5 mins outside is enough.

And you don't have to be angry or shout - in fact, being properly angry isn't good. You just don't have control that way. I'm not known as a shouter, but kids now know when I shout ears will ring, so it's that level of threat that maintains balance. It's a steep learning curve - I bet you're seeking to manage all instances of poor behaviour, but there's a base level you can 'ignore' and still retain control and authority. One trick I learnt was to simply observe certain poor behaviours, then as I was dealing with another pupil (preferably back to the offending pupil), remind the poorly behaved pupil I was 'watching'. :D

Chocolate is a fantastic bribe, yes! :p
 
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Hi Deiwos

If I was you I would try to finish the course. A PGCE is a useful qualification. Remember you don't have to teach in a school you could teach in a college or a private training company. A lot less stress.

With regards to your health. You have two options. Either you go to your doctor who will prescribe medication or deal with the stress yourself. Things like Yoga and Meditation really do work. Whoever your boss is, speak to them and tell them what you've told us they should be sympathetic towards you.
 
I am in my last year at school so behaviour problems aren't really an issue any more, but in the younger years, it obviously was. The best teachers never had to really raise their voice to shouting level, but gained respect some other way... I think a lot of it was reputation... As soon as you have a reputation for being 'weaker', and unable to control the class, it's difficult to recover. One of the teachers at my school did teacher training at a school only a few miles away, and it just so happened that one of my friends used to have him and said he used to struggle to get a decent level of discipline, but at my school now, he is pretty average. I think a sense of confidence, feeling you have control and authority, and trying to treat the bulk of people reasonably are a few traits found in good teachers, although it is hard to pinpoint how some weak old short lady can control a class while a young, tall man struggles.

Oh and generally, IT teachers struggle. In all my years at school, I haven't had an IT teacher who had enough control of the class to stop people browsing the Internet in lessons... Some of them didn't even bother trying. If we had an English lesson in an IT room, the English teacher would struggle a lot more... It's a pretty hard lesson to teach I guess with such a massive potential distraction.

I hate that feeling that you've tried really hard, and you really really want to do something, but you can't... It is really depressing. I guess you just have to think about something else you can do instead... Can you not work as a software developer or something else? It is quite likely that over time, you will improve and get used to it, but if you don't already have that control, it will quite likely take a long time, and do you really want to be spending years struggling to control the classes??
 
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