Post your cracker jokes!

RomanNose · 25 Dec 2011 at 13:55

What's the best parting gift?

A comb.

Cosimo · 25 Dec 2011 at 14:09

What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

Cosimo · 25 Dec 2011 at 14:41

Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

What's Santa's favourite pizza?

One that's deep pan, crisp and even.

What do you call Mrs Santa Claus?

Mary Christmas.

V4NT0M · 25 Dec 2011 at 14:45

Got this in two crackers:

Where do snowmen go to dance?

The Snowball

Then possibly the worst joke I have ever seen:

How do you hire a horse?

Put it on some bricks

/facepalm

Derek W · 25 Dec 2011 at 14:50

simulatorman said:
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

ann summers style christmas crackers!

Stewy · 25 Dec 2011 at 14:51

Enjoyed it though.

utajoker · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:12

Why is Europe like a frying pan?

Because it has Greece at the bottom.

Kosmiche · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:12

Was gonna post mine but I'm ashamed at how **** it is.

Beanieboybob · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:15

Why are dogs rubbish dancers?

Because they have two left legs.

SeraphX · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:21

How do you start a polar bear race?

Say; Ready, Teddy, GO!

Glaucus · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:22

Q: what happened to the Hyena who swallowed an oxo cube?

A: He made a laughing stock of himself

Sgt Tackleberry · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:29

What do trees and dogs have in common.....

Bark!.

jmc007 · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:52

What kind of sandles do frogs wear?

Open-toad.

lcg · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:53

What did the beaver say to the tree?

Nice to gnaw you.

G-MAN2004 · 25 Dec 2011 at 15:57

They are seriously so awful, I won't even bother posting them.

steve-h · 25 Dec 2011 at 16:24

I'm not sure why this was in a cracker but...

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

If you can't guess the answer then you're an idiot.

GTAMADDOG · 25 Dec 2011 at 16:45

How do you stop a Skunk from smelling?

Hold it's nose

Oh dear...

mattjd · 25 Dec 2011 at 16:52

What do you call a sheep underneath a rain cloud?

A sheep that is under the weather.

KingArthur · 25 Dec 2011 at 17:19

what do cows do for fun?
Go to the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVIES!!

Jongo · 25 Dec 2011 at 17:22

What does a snail use to polish its shell?

Snail Polish.