Caporegime
I prepared for fatherhood by having sex with my wife. It worked: 9 months later, I was a father.
I recommend this approach to everyone.
Preparing for Fatherhood
- Thread starter Kingdom34
- Start date
I prepared for fatherhood by having sex with my wife. It worked: 9 months later, I was a father.
I recommend this approach to everyone.
Soldato
Well you'll need to give us your wife's contact details then!
Caporegime
Prepare for many many sleepless Nights.
Aldi Wet-Wipes are best, Nappies for mine, have varied by age. Started off on Pampers , then to Aldi (Mamia) , Then back to Pampers now they are more active (aldi nappies weren't cutting it once they started crawling).
Don't waste money on gimmicks, and sleep when child sleeps or you never will!
I'd echo what has been said about plenty of spare clothes. ALWAYS make sure you have clean bottles if going down that route . You'll be glad of it if you wash them up as you go.
Don't get a fancy pram, and get solid wheels if you can. I got sick of repairing punctures on ours.
Make sure your car-seat and pram of choice will fit in your car, and that you/partner will be able to have your seat in the right position with the car-seat fitted.
Aldi Wet-Wipes are best, Nappies for mine, have varied by age. Started off on Pampers , then to Aldi (Mamia) , Then back to Pampers now they are more active (aldi nappies weren't cutting it once they started crawling).
Don't waste money on gimmicks, and sleep when child sleeps or you never will!
I'd echo what has been said about plenty of spare clothes. ALWAYS make sure you have clean bottles if going down that route . You'll be glad of it if you wash them up as you go.
Don't get a fancy pram, and get solid wheels if you can. I got sick of repairing punctures on ours.
Make sure your car-seat and pram of choice will fit in your car, and that you/partner will be able to have your seat in the right position with the car-seat fitted.
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Microwave bottle steriliser best thing ever assuming you have a microwave.
Ignore everyone who tells you to get x brand of nappies, its all personal preference, so get a few samples and work out what you like yourself. We liked huggies from Costco.
By all means get a pram with air tyres, people who complain of constantly getting punctures quite frankly need to stop driving over stuff to be honest. We used a quinny from birth and didnt get a single puncture.
Regarding car seat get the best you can reasonably afford, it's one area which I wouldn't recommend cheaping out on. After all this thing is going to help protect your kid should you be involved in an accident, why would you want to put your kid at unnecessary risk. Also if you have two cars get two car seats. Much easier if you are both taking responsibility for pick ups and drop offs. A couple of our friends tried joint duty with one car seat and it just resulted in lots of going backwards and forwards and everything taking more time than necessary.
On the subject of car seats, they are worth nothing second hand. I'm not suggesting you buy a random one on eBay, however if you have a friend or family member which you trust who has a car seat which will be available, then ask if you can use it.
Don't fall into the trap of buying loads of fancy clothes for when the kid is first born. Firstly if you have a good network of friends and family they will buy you clothes, also babies tend to be in vests and onesies the majority of the time as all they do is sleep, poop and eat.
After the baby is born get rid of the night feed if you can. Old wives tale that you have to wake the baby up through the night to feed. If the thing is sleeping through the night let it. If the thing is hungry it will let you know. It will help with your/the misses sleep no end. Best bit of advice we got from our health visitor.
Get some swaddling blankets to restrict the babies movement over night. They are comforting apparently and help the baby sleep.
Start hitting the next sales for toddler clothes, it will be a year old before you know it and clothes in the next sale are cheap especially when you consider their quality and ability to handle multiple washes and foreign liquids.
Don't let your misses get pressured into breast feeding. Some people get on with it others don't. People who push that agenda at all costs need to do one. Support your misses in her decision either way.
Possibly controversial the next point but day to day management of a baby is not an equal split. If you accept this as a couple things tend to be easier. For example, my wife took a year off work, however during that period I was working. therefore during the week she took responsibility for the late evening/early morning feeds/wake up calls on the basis that I needed to be awake for work. I would help out on weekend/days off and when I could. Now I'm not in anyway saying it is the woman's responsiblity, however equally under the current system the woman is afforded more time off work to manage the baby.
Ignore everyone who tells you to get x brand of nappies, its all personal preference, so get a few samples and work out what you like yourself. We liked huggies from Costco.
By all means get a pram with air tyres, people who complain of constantly getting punctures quite frankly need to stop driving over stuff to be honest. We used a quinny from birth and didnt get a single puncture.
Regarding car seat get the best you can reasonably afford, it's one area which I wouldn't recommend cheaping out on. After all this thing is going to help protect your kid should you be involved in an accident, why would you want to put your kid at unnecessary risk. Also if you have two cars get two car seats. Much easier if you are both taking responsibility for pick ups and drop offs. A couple of our friends tried joint duty with one car seat and it just resulted in lots of going backwards and forwards and everything taking more time than necessary.
On the subject of car seats, they are worth nothing second hand. I'm not suggesting you buy a random one on eBay, however if you have a friend or family member which you trust who has a car seat which will be available, then ask if you can use it.
Don't fall into the trap of buying loads of fancy clothes for when the kid is first born. Firstly if you have a good network of friends and family they will buy you clothes, also babies tend to be in vests and onesies the majority of the time as all they do is sleep, poop and eat.
After the baby is born get rid of the night feed if you can. Old wives tale that you have to wake the baby up through the night to feed. If the thing is sleeping through the night let it. If the thing is hungry it will let you know. It will help with your/the misses sleep no end. Best bit of advice we got from our health visitor.
Get some swaddling blankets to restrict the babies movement over night. They are comforting apparently and help the baby sleep.
Start hitting the next sales for toddler clothes, it will be a year old before you know it and clothes in the next sale are cheap especially when you consider their quality and ability to handle multiple washes and foreign liquids.
Don't let your misses get pressured into breast feeding. Some people get on with it others don't. People who push that agenda at all costs need to do one. Support your misses in her decision either way.
Possibly controversial the next point but day to day management of a baby is not an equal split. If you accept this as a couple things tend to be easier. For example, my wife took a year off work, however during that period I was working. therefore during the week she took responsibility for the late evening/early morning feeds/wake up calls on the basis that I needed to be awake for work. I would help out on weekend/days off and when I could. Now I'm not in anyway saying it is the woman's responsiblity, however equally under the current system the woman is afforded more time off work to manage the baby.
This made me laugh. So true.
Another point, Try not to resort to the likes of white noise , know someone who did and their little one is now 3 and still needs it to sleep.
Yeah I think it's about balance. Pacifiers, for instance, have really helped us get some sleep at night, but we are trying to limit their use as much as possible for just that reason. My sister's had them and then we're a nightmare to wean off them, followed by thumb sucking and expensive orthodontic work.
Soldato
How do you dry your clothes? outside on a line? then take the number of pegs you have and go and buy twice that many more. Baby clothes are smaller, you wash more and take less space on the line, you'll thank me when you don't run out of pegs! Wooden ones are best.
Do what my doctor said, take all your baby books and throw them out of the window. All babies are different. Unless it has medical advice don't keep it, do what feels right. If you've not got one on baby health, get one. You will worry. Buy Calpol, lots of Calpol. If they get a high temp, strip them, blow cool air on themselves and apply a cold flannel and calpol them, if that doesn't work cool bath, if that doesn't work, doctors time. Also invest in Bonjella teething gel, works a treat.
Don't use dummies/pacifiers, it becomes a habit you then have to break.
Get yourself an electric thermometer.
Get used to the idea that you will spend a lot of your early years as a dad covered in snot, puke and ****.
Babies often make a mess in their nappies, and it can escape, usually up their back. Vests that you buy have weird necks that allow you to pull the entire vest downwards so you don't have to pull dirty vests up over their heads.
Unless you live in a mansion, you don't need a baby monitor. Waste of money.
As mentioned, Disney and next clothes are great. They can always been sold on afterwards too. my wife can make back half or 2/3s of what they cost in the sales on them on Facebook.
Talking of facebook, find some local baby groups on there for your area. Great for mum, baby and sometimes dad to mingle, your kid gets to interact and you'll make friends there. There will also be baby item selling groups, ideal for a bargain.
Number 1 rule of being a parent, you will have random people, friends and family sticking their nose in, telling you to do this and do that. They forget that in most cases its been several decades since they had kids and things have changed. Don't be afraid to tell people to back off.
Breast feeding. As said above, it shouldn't be pushed on anyone, but the benefits are huge. Not just for the kid getting what they want, but also the mum and child bond. You've always got food with you if you are out (my wife always wore a vest top under her top, made feeding easy and discreet) and the best thing. Night time feeding, just pop them in the bed next to mum, they latch on and BOOM, you're free and they can both sleep and feed
It can be hard on the mums, first child took my wife a good few days to find a position that worked and she even had a few issues with the second one, just keep trying and ask for help.
ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT! this doesn't make you a bad parent.
Make sure you both have time together without the sprog when you can, it's important to work on your bond especially when you've a little one always getting in the way.
Thats all i can think of for now.
Do what my doctor said, take all your baby books and throw them out of the window. All babies are different. Unless it has medical advice don't keep it, do what feels right. If you've not got one on baby health, get one. You will worry. Buy Calpol, lots of Calpol. If they get a high temp, strip them, blow cool air on themselves and apply a cold flannel and calpol them, if that doesn't work cool bath, if that doesn't work, doctors time. Also invest in Bonjella teething gel, works a treat.
Don't use dummies/pacifiers, it becomes a habit you then have to break.
Get yourself an electric thermometer.
Get used to the idea that you will spend a lot of your early years as a dad covered in snot, puke and ****.
Babies often make a mess in their nappies, and it can escape, usually up their back. Vests that you buy have weird necks that allow you to pull the entire vest downwards so you don't have to pull dirty vests up over their heads.
Unless you live in a mansion, you don't need a baby monitor. Waste of money.
As mentioned, Disney and next clothes are great. They can always been sold on afterwards too. my wife can make back half or 2/3s of what they cost in the sales on them on Facebook.
Talking of facebook, find some local baby groups on there for your area. Great for mum, baby and sometimes dad to mingle, your kid gets to interact and you'll make friends there. There will also be baby item selling groups, ideal for a bargain.
Number 1 rule of being a parent, you will have random people, friends and family sticking their nose in, telling you to do this and do that. They forget that in most cases its been several decades since they had kids and things have changed. Don't be afraid to tell people to back off.
Breast feeding. As said above, it shouldn't be pushed on anyone, but the benefits are huge. Not just for the kid getting what they want, but also the mum and child bond. You've always got food with you if you are out (my wife always wore a vest top under her top, made feeding easy and discreet) and the best thing. Night time feeding, just pop them in the bed next to mum, they latch on and BOOM, you're free and they can both sleep and feed
It can be hard on the mums, first child took my wife a good few days to find a position that worked and she even had a few issues with the second one, just keep trying and ask for help.ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT! this doesn't make you a bad parent.
Make sure you both have time together without the sprog when you can, it's important to work on your bond especially when you've a little one always getting in the way.
Thats all i can think of for now.
Associate
Don't be pressured to do what I'd the "right" thing, do what is best/works for all 3 of you. First couple of weeks with our one was a nightmare, she was a terrible sleeper (still is mind) so sometimes ID put twitch on and have her sleep on my chest in bed (usually good 2-4 hours) while partner slept.
Don't let it get to both of you, you'll both be very tired and little things could start an argument, so just take a moment with things, talk to each other etc.
My partner tried breastfeeding, but after 2 week's it didn't work, our lil'one just kept crying after every feed etc, so we switched to formula. It's important to keep an open mind on both methods. Always be there for her, mine thought she failed and took couple days to open up.
Mines 16 months now, and its only just getting easier at times now lol.
Don't let it get to both of you, you'll both be very tired and little things could start an argument, so just take a moment with things, talk to each other etc.
My partner tried breastfeeding, but after 2 week's it didn't work, our lil'one just kept crying after every feed etc, so we switched to formula. It's important to keep an open mind on both methods. Always be there for her, mine thought she failed and took couple days to open up.
Mines 16 months now, and its only just getting easier at times now lol.
The most important piece of advice I can give you is during the birth stay away from the business end. Unless of course you're one of those weirdos that likes to film the action to show friends and family.
Seriously catch it at the wrong moment and it's like that scene from predator when the predator first takes off his mask.
Seriously catch it at the wrong moment and it's like that scene from predator when the predator first takes off his mask.
Soldato
Antenatal classes teach you nothing important only about the birth. Just remember that.
Remember to burp your baby after every feed if you don't get that burp out there'll be trouble.
Remember to burp your baby after every feed if you don't get that burp out there'll be trouble.
Soldato
expecting soon here as well.
One thing we have found is get some clothing off of the likes of facebook groups.
we have got loads of bin liners full of clothes for next to nothing.
babies dont damage or wear out clothing so it is always fine to use.
Saves a fortune.
Buy things monthly so the cost is spread out.
One thing we have found is get some clothing off of the likes of facebook groups.
we have got loads of bin liners full of clothes for next to nothing.
babies dont damage or wear out clothing so it is always fine to use.
Saves a fortune.
Buy things monthly so the cost is spread out.
Soldato
Quite simple really.
Spend little as possible. Second hand clothes are fine, they grow out of them in a matter of days.
Buy for safety, doesn't have to be branded tat.
In the Bounty pack that the midwives give out, there is usually a voucher to get an all-in-one pram, pushchair, car seat system for about £200 and it's very good. Usually retail for about £350. It'll last ages.
Start preparing for less sleep now. Set your alarm clock an hour earlier now. In a couple of months, set it during the night. You will get use to it pretty fast and by the time baby comes along, you will be less stressed and physically ready to do your part.
Spend little as possible. Second hand clothes are fine, they grow out of them in a matter of days.
Buy for safety, doesn't have to be branded tat.
In the Bounty pack that the midwives give out, there is usually a voucher to get an all-in-one pram, pushchair, car seat system for about £200 and it's very good. Usually retail for about £350. It'll last ages.
Start preparing for less sleep now. Set your alarm clock an hour earlier now. In a couple of months, set it during the night. You will get use to it pretty fast and by the time baby comes along, you will be less stressed and physically ready to do your part.
Soldato
Another note. Health Visitors tell you what the state wants them to. Their advice changes way too often. Instinct will take over because every bub is different.
Agree with this. The health visitor for our first child have us an excellent piece of advice. She said that all she can do is explain the basics. Within a few weeks of the birth we would know more about what our baby wants and needs than she could ever possible tell us.
Associate
We also found the older midwives kept giving different (older outdated) advice compared to the younger midwives, that really confused my other half lol
Caporegime
A really good tip is not to take anyone else's tips as gospel. My tips - which you should ignore - are:
1. Baby wipes are your friend, your ally and your guardian angel if you're in a public place when the **** goes down. Which it will. Everywhere.
2. Reports of the death of your sleep are slightly exaggerated but only slightly. I hate napping but do what you need to do to get some/any rest on down time.
3. Be supportive of your wife/partner/GF even when he or she is wrong (which will be often) or when you disagree over non-material things (which will be often) because I wan't joking about point 2.
4. Always wear sunscreen.
1. Baby wipes are your friend, your ally and your guardian angel if you're in a public place when the **** goes down. Which it will. Everywhere.
2. Reports of the death of your sleep are slightly exaggerated but only slightly. I hate napping but do what you need to do to get some/any rest on down time.
3. Be supportive of your wife/partner/GF even when he or she is wrong (which will be often) or when you disagree over non-material things (which will be often) because I wan't joking about point 2.
4. Always wear sunscreen.