Punching yourself in the face

Aliboy

Aliboy

Aliboy

Soldato
Joined
4 Jan 2004
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3,200
I was trying to help a mate move house today and was trying to lift his mattress off of the bed by grabbing a hold of the edging where the stiches run along the side (no bloody handles to grab on to).
He's in the van sorting stuff out and I decide to give this thing a big heave to get it off of the bed as it was really heavy. Made of horse hair apparently although I think the horse was still in it :eek:
Anyway, I give it all I've got only for my right hand to slip from the edging and clock me straight in the eye socket :D Actually, it missed most of the bone around the eye socket and the knuckles on my clenched fist seemed to catch me square in the eye instead :o I felt as though my eye had been pushed so far back into the socket it made me see a huge flash of bright white light! It made me do that noise that Peter Griffin done when he fell hurt his shin! You know the one?
To top it off, my mate decided to give me a fright by hiding in the back of the van and bursting open the back doors when he heard me coming. The door has caught me on my cheekbone on the right hand side and any day now I'm expecting the bruising to go purple, then greeny colour then that mustard yellow colour it turns after a big wallop.

Deep joy :D

This is my last bevvy before I call it a night! Hopefully I'll wake up and it'll all be a dream :)
 
I've knocked myself out with a tennis racket before. Went for a forehand, swung, hit the ball, followed through straight to the middle of my forehead. One of the most surreal experiences of my life.
 
In certain Weather conditions at a PET Plastic Bottle place I used to work the stainless steel portable hoppers full of PET pellets used to get amazingly powerful static charges, so powerful that they sounded like a gun firing and if they caught you a certain way they could easily cause involuntary muscle spasms, I personally managed to knee myself in my own chin after such a static discharge (I knew I was going to get a jolt so I went to kick the thing to discharge it...), I've seen lads spun around on the spot and even thrown to the floor from them, but the worst one I saw was the guy who got zapped to his trouser zip, oh that was nasty to watch, all the others usually got a big cheer, but that one only got an 'Oooooooooooh'.
 
Better than punching yourself in the jewels.

I was asleep, having a nightmare about hanging onto the edge of a cliff. I woke suddenly, and it seems I'd been grabbing tightly to the edge of the matress, I let go of the matress and my hand went full force into my danglies.
 
doofer said:
In certain Weather conditions at a PET Plastic Bottle place I used to work the stainless steel portable hoppers full of PET pellets used to get amazingly powerful static charges, so powerful that they sounded like a gun firing and if they caught you a certain way they could easily cause involuntary muscle spasms, I personally managed to knee myself in my own chin after such a static discharge (I knew I was going to get a jolt so I went to kick the thing to discharge it...), I've seen lads spun around on the spot and even thrown to the floor from them, but the worst one I saw was the guy who got zapped to his trouser zip, oh that was nasty to watch, all the others usually got a big cheer, but that one only got an 'Oooooooooooh'.
Click to expand...

PET is a monster when it comes to static when it's clean. i can definitely sympathise! :eek:
 
About 10 years ago I was cutting grass on a ride on mower, was cutting round a tree with loads of ivy and nettles round it. I lifted up my arm so as not to scratch or sting myself but positioned my arm infront of my face. Anyway I got stung on my elbow and punched myself in the nose, made my eyes water :(
 
I once witnessed a man fracture his own kneecap with a hammer, then bite the tip of his tongue off, it was while I was working for an office furniture firm. They used to get lads in on work experience from a local young offenders institute, and one of the jobs they'd give them was to knock these wooden feet off the pallets when the goods came in and were being loaded into the racking. They'd give said young offender a hammer and chisel, and have him stand by the racking. As the forklift with the pallet approached the racking to load it, the driver would pause a second and they were expected to knock the feet off to prevent it catching. Anyway, one lad obviously didn't want to be there, and was making no effort whatsoever. Witnessing this, Brian the warehouse manager comes striding over "'Give it 'ere lad soft lad, this is 'ow you do it!" and snatches the hammer & chisel off the lad. He then proceeds to swing, miss the chisel and smash himself in the knee. To make matters worse, he clutches his knee and pitches forward, coming down hard on his chin, which makes him bite off the last few mm of his tongue. It took us a good 2-3 minutes to call him an ambulance, because none of us could stop laughing long enough to talk. People were literally rolling on the floor laughing. (I must stress the guy involved was a **** however)
 
I was unpacking a bed frame which had sprung loaded legs, which had been taped down while in transit.

I was undoing the final piece of tape, sorta playing Russian roulette and joking to my brother "wait for it to smash me in the face". Right on cue: BAM, right on the forehead.

Could have been worse :P
 
I've got a free-standing cloth wardrobe/shelf doohickey next to my bed, an Ikea storage solution. Last night I somehow managed to pull the thing down over the bed - at least, I think I did. Woke up at about 3am with it lying across my bed and the top shelf's clothes stacked up (curiously neat) to one side. Confusing, but it didn't manage to hit me in the face.
 
haha reminds me of a time I was with my ex gf.. Decided to jump onto the bed, not realising there was a wooden border frame going around it and the mattress werent that high.. before I could do anything I smacked my right eye onto the border of the bed almost knocking myself out.. Then when the gf looked at me to see what id done I tried to hide it and pretend nothing happened haha... Still to this day she laughs about it.
 
When i was younger I did a front flip on a bouncy castle (dont recommend it) Obviously the landing was perfect but because of the nature of a bouncy castle my nose went into my knee... :(

I also walked into a land post before and my friend behind me walked into me... I got a nose bleed and lost 2 of my teeth... (luckily I was young and they were baby teeth). :D
 
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